


The One Real Thing

by K_AudreyLeto



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:47:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 62,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23617753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K_AudreyLeto/pseuds/K_AudreyLeto
Summary: In some way Rachel has always needed Quinn. "These are the moments of new found hope, extreme joy, intense passion, wishful thinking, and in some cases; the unthinkable letdown. And every one of these memories looked the same. They both saw all of these moments in bright, burning red." Quote by Taylor Swift.This story is began as a one-shot but now it uses all the songs on Taylor Swift's Red Album.This is the final fic I am transferring from ffnet. Every fic I have ever written is now finally on this site. This was originally published/completed on 9/9/2014.
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	1. The Lucky One

**Author's Note:**

> This story begins with the scene that Quinn gave Rachel the train tickets and will continue throughout college and beyond.  
> It will loosely follow season four in the first few chapters and then it will veer off into its own story because there will be some time jumps; I am hoping that in the some of the chapters I will be able to fill in some of the time jumps with what happened via flashbacks. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Taylor Swift, or any of her songs.

**Chapter 1: The Lucky One**

***

Graduation was a little less than a week away and Rachel was reflecting on the last four years and all of the things she had accomplished. She thought about when she was at the beginning of her high school career and to where she is now… and she smiled.

She was proud of Finn and her relationship with him; and of course she was proud of her national championship winning glee club. But she hadn’t been lying when she told Quinn at prom that becoming friends with her was her greatest accomplishment.

She was going to miss Quinn.

And that thought alone was something she never thought would enter her mind. 

Sure three years ago when Quinn was new to town with a made up name- well mostly made up- she never thought they’d be friends. Especially when she accidentally stole her boyfriend.

But she was just so envious.

Quinn made everything look like a dream. Everybody loves pretty, everybody loves cool and Quinn had it all. And then she joined the glee club and Rachel thought it would be the worst thing to ever happen to her.

But it wasn’t.

It was the best thing to ever happen to her.

And over all these years she and Quinn fought against each other… they fought for each other and without even realizing it they were building a friendship.

A real one.

A lasting one.

She knew she would always keep in touch with Finn and probably Kurt as well but everyone else in glee club she wasn’t so sure about; but Quinn…

She wanted that to last.

She needed it to last.

They had become real friends, true friends… the kind of friends that saved each other. The kind that give and- sometimes- take the best advice. The kind of friends that when all the bluster and high school b.s. is stripped away is real… with real feelings and real love.

She was going to miss Quinn the most.

And the thought of losing her was terrifying to Rachel; and if someone would’ve asked her why the thought of losing touch with Quinn was so scary she wouldn’t have an answer. There were no words to explain or describe her complex relationship with Quinn Fabray.

Just that it was one of the most important things in her life.

*

Quinn had the tickets in her hand, she just needed to find Rachel and give them to her; but she was worried. 

_ What if Rachel saw right through it? _

_ What if she could tell? _

Rachel always thought that Quinn was the lucky one.

But Quinn needed her to know that just wasn’t true… and Rachel always had been and would always be the lucky one.

Rachel’s secrets never ended up splashed on the news front page.

Everyone always thought that Quinn had the looks, the body, the boys… and so on. But she never felt pretty, she just felt used.

Her looks and her body were something she worked for; and it was hard work to be that shallow…  _ and the boys _ \- Quinn laughed to herself at that thought-  _ she certainly never wanted the boys either _ .

But no one could ever know that.

She had a reputation to uphold after all.

She always knew that Rachel had what it took to get the hell out, and she told her so, that fateful day in the auditorium when she said that Rachel didn’t belong there; but she thought she herself never would get out. She chose a rose garden over Madison Square…  _ she settled _ .

But what she didn’t know back then was that after getting to know the annoying, but amazing person Rachel was is that she too had what it took to get out of Lima… she didn’t have to settle for the life that she thought she was supposed to have. And it was Rachel’s constant need to remind her of how good, and special, and better than their small town environment she actually was for her to finally believe it herself.

And the road was a rocky one but she got there. She had been accepted to Yale.

_ She was also getting the hell out _ \- she thought with a wicked grin.

And Rachel was a big part of that… so it was no wonder why she fell so hard for the girl… and now, now it was time to get it right.

She found Rachel in the bathroom; the place where they had some of their most profound moments so she couldn’t help but smile at how perfect the setting was. In the story of Rachel and Quinn this bathroom was holy ground.

She leaned against the wall and looked inside; Rachel was fixing her hair in the mirror and it reminded her of one of the first times she ever spoke to the girl. It was in this same bathroom and Rachel was fixing her hair then too. But back then Quinn walked over with her bitch attitude in place and said something mean to her now best friend… this time would be different.

Quinn tried to hide the hearts in her eyes as she looked at the girl who went from being her nemesis, to her fellow glee club member, to tentative friend, to real friend, to best friend... to crush, to the unrequited love of Quinn’s love, and her whole word- and she smiled.

It sure had been a long road.

And maybe- just maybe- she was the lucky one after all.

“Hey,” Quinn said with her smitten grin as she stepped fully into the room.

“Hey,” Rachel greeted with an equally bright and very warm smile. 

“This freshman just gave me a hug and told me to never change… poor thing is too young to realize that change can be so good… to think if we didn’t change we would’ve never been friends,” Rachel’s smile widened.

“It’s still so weird having you call me a friend,” Rachel said and Quinn stepped closer, she leaned against the sink and met those beautiful brown eyes.

“My name may have been up in lights around here, so to speak,” Quinn said with a smile. “But Rachel, you’re the one who got it right.”

“You did too,” and to that Quinn rolled her eyes. “You just don’t see it because you have conditioned yourself to believe that you didn’t deserve to get it right.”

“You’re right,” she agreed and Rachel’s smile returned. “But you changed that.”

“Me?”

“Yeah you… no one else ever cared, or reached out to me the way you did, over and over again… and the way you still do,” Rachel couldn’t help but blush at those sweet words. “Here,” she handed her an envelope that Rachel didn’t even notice she had clutched in her hand until now. Rachel’s eyes were surprised as she took the envelope that Quinn was offering.

“What’s this?”

“A Metro North pass from New York to New Haven,” she saw Rachel’s expression change as the girl melted. “I got one for me into New York,” Quinn knew that Rachel wanted to thank her but she needed to finish. “You know… everybody keeps talking about staying in touch and I want to make sure that we do.” 

“Thank you,” she could see tears in Rachel’s eyes as the girl threw herself at her and enveloped her in a tight hug. “Thank you Quinn… this is so perfect,” Quinn could feel Rachel’s breath on her neck and she needed this hug to end or she would do something stupid.

And ruin their friendship… so with great reluctance Quinn stepped out of the hug.

“You’re welcome,” was all she said before leaving Rachel alone in the bathroom again.

***

It was a week ago since the last real conversation that Quinn and Rachel had.

Tonight was Puck’s graduation party and she wanted to find Rachel and talk to her about what happened last week and apologize for the awkward way she left but as soon as she walked in; she saw Rachel in the living room with Finn and the moment she saw them she panicked and found an empty room. It was early… the party had just begun, she had plenty of time.

She was sitting alone; and as she sat thinking, all she could think about was missed opportunities and chances that she gave away. All the times she could have told Rachel how she felt instead of being mean to her. She thought about all the times she could have tried to at least be friends with her and if she had done it sooner; maybe they would’ve been friends sooner. Maybe she could’ve had more time to tell her the truth; and it just pissed her off that Finn was lucky enough to get her. 

But Finn did something no one else did… he took a chance on Rachel Berry, he took a chance on his popularity, he just took a chance and Quinn was regretting that she never did and she shook those thoughts away. “Rachel isn’t gay anyway,” she said quietly to herself. She had no idea that standing in the doorway leaning against it with her arms crossed was Santana.

And as Santana stood watching Quinn she knew the girl had regrets, and she felt for her. She knew how she felt because she almost gave up Brittany the same way. And she wanted to make Quinn know that she understood and was on her side… while she still had the chance. She entered the room and she turned her sad, sullen, and feeling sorry for Quinn face into her bitch face knowing that Quinn would respond better to that.

“Hey tubbers,” she called as she joined Quinn on the couch she was sitting on; as she did this she saw that Quinn just rolled her eyes at her words. 

“What do you want Santana?”

“Aw, c’mon Q… after all we’ve been through, you don’t want to hang out with me for a minute?”

“Sure Santana, I wouldn’t mind hanging out with you, I’m just preparing myself for the bitchiness that’s about to happen.”

“Yeah well,” she paused to chuckle. “You do know me best, don’tcha Q?”

“What do you want Santana?” Quinn repeated. There was no malice or anger in her tone; she just seemed drained, and tired of fighting.

“Look,” Santana took a long pause as she thought about her words. “School’s over, we did it… we graduated.”

“Yeah,” Quinn’s voice was annoyed and she waved her hands at Santana as if to say get to the point. Santana could see Quinn’s head bitch glare from where she was sitting and she smiled internally. Quinn had always been such a poser but it was okay because she identified.

Because they were the same. 

“Are you going to let her go, Quinn?” Santana asked bluntly and out of the blue.

“Le-Let who go?” Quinn stammered.

“C’mon, you know damn well who I’m talking about… are you gonna let him have her?”

“ _ Let _ him have her,” Quinn repeated Santana’s question in a tone of disbelief. “He already has her,” she finished defeated. Quinn had admitted the truth without really admitting it and again Santana smiled internally. 

“He has her by default Quinn… Rachel thinks she has no other options… if only she knew.”

“Look, Santana… it’s over, she’s happy, and I gave up on that idea a while ago,” she lied. She had given up… before her accident, but something always kept her hanging on.

“Yeah and then you got hit by a fucking truck for your effort.”

“Seriously?”

“Look… do you need to be hit by another truck, metaphorically speaking? Before you get it,” Santana continued. “It was a sign Quinn… if you believe in all that bullshit, it means that Rachel wasn’t meant to marry Finn, she was meant to be with you, and maybe you should fucking do something about it. Instead of sitting on your ass and letting her get away.”

“What am I supposed to do Santana?”

“Fight for her!” She shouted. “God, fuck! Don’t give up.”

“She doesn’t want me… if there was anything to fight for I would, but Rachel has never wanted me.”

“Dude, that’s where you’re wrong,” Santana exhaled loudly. “Rachel has only ever wanted you… she seeks out your opinion, she wants your approval, Quinn, Quinn, Quinn, Quinn, Quinn… did you know that she once asked Finn what it felt like to kiss you?”

“How do you know that?”

“I have my ways,” Santana said but Quinn just stared at her until she told her. “Becky Jackson… that little bitch spy,” Quinn giggled but not more than a second later her face was serious again.

“Santana look…” there was a very long moment of silence before Quinn spoke again. “I’m over her.”

“Yeah it sure sounds like it,” Santana replied quickly and Quinn let out an audible sigh, took a deep breath, and tried to figure out what to say next because she was right… Santana was right… but how could she take that chance.

It was hard enough trying to stop Rachel’s wedding, it was hard enough trying to convince Rachel to not have sex with him, it was hard enough already.

“Quinn,” Santana cut into her thoughts. “Why did you get Coach to give the glee club a full page in the yearbook sophomore year, if not for Rachel?”

“How did you know about that?” Quinn was again surprised.

“Spies Quinn… pay a-fucking-tention, I don’t like repeating myself,” this time Quinn laughed at her friend and Santana got serious again. “Why’d you do that?”

“Because I love her Santana… always have, always will.”

“Okay… and now that you’re finally willing to admit that to yourself are you ever going to admit it to Rachel?”

“Probably not… anyway it’s too late.”

“Look Quinn, I’m not going to keep beating this dead horse. But I am going to say to you that it’s never too late… even if she marries Finn and has a dozen little Finchel babies… ugh,” she grossed herself out at the thought. “As long as you are both here on this Earth and breathing and alive it’s not too late… so get off your ass and go get the girl, or you know go to Yale and regret never talking to her and never taking a chance… let Finn be the lucky one,” with that Santana left leaving Quinn alone with her thoughts.

She wanted to do it, she just couldn’t. She didn’t know how. She never knew how. Rachel always took all logic and reasoning away and she just never knew what to do.

“I have to do it,” she said to herself. 

And she got to her feet in search of Rachel.

***

Rachel walked out onto the porch to get some air and she saw Kurt sitting on the top step.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“What are you doing out here?” Rachel asked as she sat down next to him.

“I was just thinking,” he said and then there was a moment of silence between them as they both sat reflecting on their four years at McKinley High and how much had changed over those years. Kurt looked over at Rachel with a small smile on his face before he spoke.

“Hey…did you ever think you and I would be at a party like this?” She shook her head no with a smile. “I know a lot of people give you shit Rachel about… you know, being a loser or whatever but we’re all losers we just… we didn’t wear it as well as you did,” she looked at him like he was crazy.

“ _ What? _ ” She asked with her brows furrowed and a confused expression.

“All I mean is that, everyone called you a loser but you didn’t care. You didn’t care what people thought of you, you never did. The rest of us did… we tried to find ways to be in the cool clubs and… you were just you. You know, you were Rachel Berry; this star with a dream. And even though I’m a little bitter about not getting into NYADA, I’m happy for you Rachel and I just wanted you to know that.”

“Thanks Kurt,” she patted his forearm lovingly. “And I think you should try again… you know they do the mid-semester auditions and I really think you should do it.”

“Nah… I’m not good enough.”

“But you are,” Rachel cut him off. “Everybody here is; they just don’t know it. And yeah everybody treated me like I was a loser; but it was only because they felt like losers themselves. Everyone who lives in Lima feels like a loser but we aren’t… we all have the talent to get out.”

“But you’re the one who’s doing it, Rachel Berry… and I am so proud of you.”

“Thanks Kurt,” there was a pause before Rachel continued. “And please do me a favor,” Kurt met her eyes again. “Take care of Finn… at least for as long as you’re here.”

“I will,” he promised and she smiled at him. Rachel draped one arm over his shoulder and took a few moments to be a kid… for just a little longer. After a few moments, she spoke. “C’mon Kurt, this is supposed to be a party, let's stop being moody and depressing,” she got to her feet. “Let’s go have some fun.”

“You’re right… let’s do this,” he also got to his feet and they went inside.

***

Quinn was done hiding, she was done panicking, it was time… she just needed to find Rachel and fix things before she was gone and she couldn’t put it off any longer.

After searching for Rachel for several minutes she found her in the kitchen with Puck.

“C’mon Rachel,” he pleaded. “Please… just one,” she continued to shake her head no. “Just take one shot… please?”

“No,” she told him adamantly and Quinn who had just entered the kitchen followed closely by Santana was proud of her.

“You’re no fun,” Puck whined before he downed the shot himself.

“Hey,” Quinn’s voice called and both Rachel and Puck’s heads whipped around to see her. “C-Can I talk to you?”

“Sure, what’s up?” Puck answered.

“Not you ass face,” Santana cut in for her as Quinn never took her eyes off of Rachel.

“Me?” Rachel questioned as she pointed to herself. Quinn nodded with a playful smile as her heart pounded, and her mind went crazy.

_ God she’s so cute _ .

“Y-Yeah… I uh,” Quinn stopped what she was saying because she didn’t want anyone else to know her business. “C-Can we go somewhere more… private?” 

“Wank-ugh,” Santana began but Quinn slugged her.

“Sure,” was Rachel’s answer as she ignored Santana completely. Quinn turned to leave and Rachel followed closely behind her.

Santana turned to Puck and an evil grin crept across her mouth.

“They’re going to go fuck on your bed Puckerman.”

“I wish,” he scoffed and poured two more shots.

“Quinn wishes,” Santana whispered.

“Huh?”

“Oh nothing,” Santana was still grinning when she stepped closer and Puck handed her a shot.

***

Upstairs Quinn walked into Puck’s room and Rachel followed, closing the door behind herself.

Rachel was trying to figure out what was going on and she was trying to be patient as Quinn slowly started to pace the room wringing her hands nervously.

“Q-Quinn,” Rachel stammered. Quinn finally stopped pacing and met her eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Quinn said with a loud exhale. “I just…” she trailed off and there was a short silence before Quinn spoke again. “I’m nervous.”

“Why?”

“Look Rachel,” there was another pause before Quinn continued and Rachel could tell that something was definitely on her mind. “I know you think; you know... because of our social status or whatever high school dictates with the rules… I know you think that I don’t like you or that I’m the lucky one but-”

“But we’ve passed all that and we’re friends now,” Rachel cut in.

“No I know but… I feel like I need to tell you that… I know I seem like I’m pretty lucky. You know the pretty and popular girl, head cheerleader who used to date the quarterback of the football team,” Rachel smiled at that because Finn sure had been one of the road blocks in their friendship… several times in fact. 

“I know-”

“Rach, I didn’t mean it like that… like I get it, you and Finn fell in love, it’s not like you can control it.” Rachel had no idea what Quinn just said because hearing the sound of Quinn call her Rach, did something to her stomach; and she couldn’t understand why she all of a sudden felt that way. But she quickly shook the feeling off and tried to focus back in on what Quinn was saying to her.

“I just wanted you to know,” Quinn continued. “I mean, I just want you to know that on the outside throughout this high school… mess. I may have looked like I was the lucky one, who had it all right?” Rachel smiled, she wasn’t sure what Quinn was getting at but didn’t interrupt. “Rachel…you were the lucky one, you’ve known since day one what you wanted out of this life and you never let anyone tell you different. Even if that meant making people mad. And I know I gave you the train ticket because I want to keep in touch and I really, really want to keep in touch Rachel so I hope you use it… I plan to.”

“I will,” Rachel promised.

“But I also wanted to give you this,” she handed Rachel a small package. 

“What’s this?” Rachel wondered as she took the gift.

“It’s just a little something to remind you who you are… on those days when you don’t feel like yourself,” Quinn said with a shrug.

“B-But you already gave me the train ticket and-”

“And I expect you to use it,” Quinn cut in and Rachel’s smile widened. 

“I expect you to do the same,” and they shared a moment of eye contact before Rachel broke it. “But seriously Quinn, this is too much.”

“Just open it,” Quinn demanded with a giggle; seeing and hearing Quinn giggle made Rachel’s heart fill with joy. It was nice to see Quinn happy.

If only she knew the act that Quinn was putting on.

Quinn watched as Rachel tore into the small package and she felt butterflies in her stomach when she saw Rachel’s eyes widen and her smile become brighter.

“Quinn,” she cooed as she looked over the pack of gold star stickers. “This is just the sweetest thing,” she looked up and met those beautiful eyes. “You are so sweet… thank you,” Quinn shrugged again.

“Yeah well,” she trailed off as she could feel her face blushing. “I just wanted to remind you that you’re not the only one who thinks you are a star,” Rachel’s mouth spread into one if her Rachel Berry beaming smiles. “I’ve always known that you had what it takes to get the hell out of here and do amazing things with your life.”

“Thank you Quinn,” Rachel said before nearly throwing herself at the girl and hugging her tightly. Quinn wrapped her arms around the only person she had ever loved and held her. She knew that this was probably one of the last times… if not the last time she would ever get to feel this close to Rachel. To hold her like this… to feel her, to smell her perfume, to…

“You’re lucky too Quinn,” Rachel whispered in her ear, Quinn felt chill bumps spread throughout her body; and she forgot her whole thought process.

“Not as lucky as Finn,” she whispered to herself.

“Huh?” Rachel asked as she pulled back just enough to look at Quinn.

“Oh… I-I said um… not as lucky as you,” Quinn lied as she finally got her senses back and Rachel arched her eyebrows.

“Oh… I just thought you said…” she trailed off and leaned closer. She suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to press her lips against Quinn’s and she had no idea where these feelings were coming from.

_ Where the hell did that come from? _ \- she thought-  _ why am I feeling like this? _

“Rach,” Quinn called trying to snap Rachel out of wherever her mind was, but it didn’t work; Rachel continued to stare at her with a fire in her eyes that was turning Quinn on. “Rach,” she tried again.

This time Rachel heard her and she shook her head clear of whatever that just was.

“I just-”

“Where were you just now?”

“It-It was nothing… never mind,” Rachel said and then she felt it again. The pull of Quinn… the urge to lean forward and…

_ And then suddenly Rachel was leaning in for a kiss. _

_ A KISS… no way _ ! – Quinn’s thoughts went rampant- _ but she looks like… Oh god, oh god, okay Quinn you’ve got this. _

And just as Quinn prepared herself for the moment she had long dreamt about; Finn’s voice changed everything.

“Rach… you in here?” And Quinn felt Rachel’s warmth leave her. She didn’t want to but knew she had to… so she opened her eyes to see Rachel turn toward Finn just as he entered the room.

“Hey Finn,” she greeted as she stepped closer to him and tucked her arm behind him.

And Quinn almost threw up in her mouth.

“Hey babe,” he said and again Quinn had to choke it back. “What’s- What’s going on?” He looked back and forth between the two girls.

“We were just,” Rachel stammered as she looked at Quinn, and then she smiled. “Quinn just wanted to um…” Rachel’s words trailed off when she met those incredible eyes again.

“I just wanted to give her a little something,” Quinn cut in to help get Rachel off of the hook. She saw Rachel smile, nod, and show the stickers to Finn; he smiled as well.

“Oh wow that was so nice,” he said and Quinn had heard enough.

“Yeah well,” she stepped toward them. “I just wanted Rachel to know that I care about her,” she may have been talking to Finn but she certainly wasn’t looking at him. “And I believe in her,” her eyes were locked on Rachel’s as she spoke. “And that it’s always been her,” she blurted out and her eyes went wide, as did Rachel’s; but Quinn quickly recovered.

“She’s always been the lucky one,” she winked at Rachel, took another step, then walked around them, and to the open door.

Once she was gone, Rachel felt Finn rubbing her back and she shook her clouded mind clear once more before she looked up at him.

“That was so nice of her,” he said.

“Yeah,” she agreed as he pulled her into a hug and all Rachel could think about was that she almost kissed Quinn Fabray.

Out in the hall, Quinn leaned against the wall and all she could think about was that she was almost kissed by Rachel Berry.

And then she felt sad.

Because she knew almost was as close as she’d ever get.

***

This was it, this was her last chance.

After this moment in time Rachel would be a friend whom she only saw once in a while rather than every day. This would be the last time the only person she ever trusted, the only person she ever believed in… the only person she ever loved… this would be the last time she’d see her in a while and she was already missing her.

This also would’ve been the moment to stand up and tell Rachel once and for all how she really felt.

She has tried to show her many times over the years; by getting Sue to give glee club a full page in the yearbook, by having Karofsky and Azimio slushied after they did it to Rachel, by being ready and willing to settle for Finn so that Rachel wouldn’t, and even by trying to stop the girl from marrying the idiot.

And most recently by giving her train tickets with a promise to keep in touch, and the gold star stickers so that in the bright lights of New York City, Rachel would never forget that she was meant to be there and born to be a star.

But showing her wouldn’t be enough.

It never had been.

She needed to tell her… and she needed to do it now.

A slight poke to her back was a nudge from Santana which told her that Santana knew it too.

But then Finn was kissing Rachel and she was getting on the train… and before Quinn could find her voice it was too late.

“Oh… Quinn?” Rachel’s voice called out.

_ Maybe not. _

“Y-Yeah,” she stammered as Rachel waved her over and her feet were blindly walking her forward before her mind had a chance to catch up.

Before she knew it she was within inches of the girl; with those sparkling big brown eyes looking up at her and Quinn fought every instinct she had to lean down and kiss her.

But that was a fight she was good at fighting.

“Come here,” Rachel said sweetly and Quinn sighed quietly as her mind went crazy.

_ I’m standing six inches away from her, how much closer does she want me?  _

_ Oh _ \- as her thoughts went to another- more naughty- place. But before her inner thoughts could battle anymore Rachel was hugging her and Quinn sighed again.

Contentedly, this time.

She loved her… she loved how she smelled, her height, her voice, her eyes, how they fit so perfectly together, how made for each other they were.

_ God why can’t she see it? _ \- her thoughts were back-  _ why does she need me to say it? _

_ Why does she always need me to say it _ ?

And then Rachel was talking again and Quinn was telling her mind to shut the hell up.

“I think we’re both lucky Quinn,” she whispered into her ear before she pulled out of the hug and met her eyes. “Because we love each other,” Quinn’s heart melted and then Rachel was gone.

And it was over.

She had… once again… missed her chance.

***

_ “Let me tell you now, you’re the lucky one.” _

_ \--Taylor Swift; The Lucky One _


	2. I Almost Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Taylor Swift, or any of her songs.

**Chapter 2: I Almost Do**

***

It had been a very long summer. Rachel had gone to New York and Quinn had failed once again to tell Rachel the truth at that train station- she once again stopped herself from saying the things she really wanted to say and do the things she really wanted to do. Instead she watched as the train left taking the girl of her dreams away from her.

To the place where she belonged.

And for Rachel it was only supposed to be for a couple of weeks; to check out her school, her dorm, and to maybe see a show or two with her dads. And then she was going to be back in Lima to spend the rest of the summer with her friends and family… and Finn.

But somehow Quinn knew that moment they shared at the train station was a finality and that once Rachel Berry stepped foot in New York City again she’d never leave… not for real anyway.

And Quinn was right.

Rachel stayed in New York for the whole summer which put a strain on her already strained relationship with Finn. And while Quinn missed her- more than she had ever missed anyone; with the exception of Beth- she was happy for her friend.

Finn was the opposite.

He spent the summer moping and whining about why his girlfriend would rather spend her summer in New York than with him.  _ She is going to be there for the next four years… can’t she care about me more?  _ Was one of the things Quinn overheard him saying at Puck’s Fourth of July party… and it pissed her off.

It pissed several of them off actually- but no one said anything.

Except for Santana; she gave him a few choice words every time he was bitching and Quinn was grateful to her for it.

And finally by the end of July; Quinn had had enough.

She was done listening to Finn whine, she was done missing Rachel without getting to whine about it, she was done with her own fears of just calling Rachel and talking to the girl she had recently promised to stay in touch with.

And mostly she was done with Lima, Ohio. And its small town, closed minded, boring as fuck way of life. So… a full month before she was due to be in New Haven for her classes to begin, she hopped on a train of her own and never looked back.

With some money that she had saved and some help from her mom she found a place to stay for a month and she found a job.

It was nothing glamorous or even interesting but it was steady work, steady pay, and a way out. And so far she loved being out on her own, she loved independence, and she couldn’t wait until school started and she was working toward her own dream.

But with each day that passed, she missed Rachel, and thought about Rachel, and she just wanted to tell her that it has taken everything in her not to call her… instead she fought it.

But today was the first time since that day at the train station that her main focus wasn’t not Rachel… at least for a few moments. Because today was the day that she was moving into her dorm.

Today was the day that she was going to begin the next chapter of her life; and maybe- just maybe- this would be the day she would finally make that call.

_ Maybe not _ .

***

Quinn lifted the final box into her room and dropped it on her bed… she hadn’t met her new roommate yet and while she was very excited to meet her, she was also nervous. She hoped she could keep her head bitchiness inside and give this girl a real chance to be a friend.

And as if on cue; just before Quinn turned around to start unpacking all of her boxes she heard a voice. A sweet, friendly sounding voice and she smiled to herself.

“Hello,” the girl muttered and Quinn turned to face her. Standing before her was a girl that was about her height- maybe a little shorter, long dark hair and light eyes… she was gorgeous. “M-My name is Brooke,” the girl said holding out her hand as Quinn continued to look her over. “Brooke Lambert,” she finished and Quinn finally snapped out of her thoughts.

“H-Hi I’m Quinn Fabray,” she said and finally responded to the girl’s outstretched hand. Once they shook hands, Quinn smiled politely and tried to ignore the awkward silence. She was thankful when Brooke spoke but as soon as she did it reminded Quinn of someone but she wasn’t sure who.

“Look, I know this is weird but I want you to know that I am an easy roommate to have, I am a neat freak so you don’t have to worry about the room being a mess. I am a nerd so you won’t have to worry about me being out all night or anything like that as I will most likely always be in here or the library,” and just like that she realized who this girl reminded her of… and it was Rachel…  _ Oh god _ . “And you don’t have to worry about me bringing strange people here because I am not promiscuous,” Quinn smiled as she pushed her thoughts about the girl’s likeness to Rachel out of her head because she was still rambling. “In fact, I’ve been in a monogamous relationship for three years and the only person I would ever bring into this room is my girlfriend.” And with that Quinn’s mouth dropped open.

“I-I’m sorry… d-did you say girlfriend?”

“Yeah,” Brooke said with a smile and then a thought occurred to her. “Why, is that going to be a problem because I won’t stand for homophobia and I will get another roo-”

“No, no, no,” Quinn cut her off and a smile took over her face. “It’s not a problem at all.”

“It’s not?”

“No… I’m gay too,” Quinn blurted it out and then her mouth dropped again. This was the first time she had ever admitted it to anyone- with the exception of Santana but even then she didn’t say the words. This was the first time those words had come out of her mouth.

_ And it felt good _ .

“Oh my god!!” Brooke squealed with a huge grin. “That is so amazing… I was worried I was going to get stuck with someone who was against it and I got the exact opposite.” Quinn’s smile widened. “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, Quinn Fabray.”

_ It felt really good _ .

“Yes it is,” Quinn agreed.

“So do you have a girlfriend?” Brook wondered and in an instant Quinn’s smile was gone. “Oh… I’m sorry, was it a… tough break up?”

“Oh no it’s not that,” Quinn told her and after a long pause she continued. “It’s just unrequited.”

“Oh that’s the worst… is she straight too?” Quinn’s face blushed and Brooke instantly felt bad. “Oh man she is… isn’t she?”

“Mostly,” Quinn said with a head nod and she saw Brooke’s eyebrow arch in confusion. “I-I mean as far as I know she is… she has only ever dated boys…” she trailed off.

“But…” Brooke knew there was more.

“But there have been moments between us, weird moments… moments when I think,” Quinn shook her head. She couldn’t let her head and her heart go there. “But it doesn’t matter, it’s probably all in my head… and I ignore my feelings because she is one of my best friends.”

“Oh Quinn… that is the worst.”

“Yeah.”

“Does she go to Yale too?”

“No… she’s in New York so at least I don’t have to see her everyday anymore but the biggest problem is that I still want to… we haven’t talked in a while and all I want to do is talk to her… and I can’t believe I’m rambling and telling you my whole life story.”

“It’s cool… I like getting to know you.”

“Yeah I like getting to know you too… but you don’t understand I never share my feelings like this, not even to Rachel.”

“Is Rachel, the girl?”

“Yes,” Quinn admitted and felt her face blush again.

“Well look, I think it’s cool that you feel safe enough with me to share your feelings, and I think that maybe all you needed was a safe environment and a friend who wasn’t someone you’ve known throughout your whole high school career, for you finally be comfortable with who you are.”

“I think you’re right,” Quinn told her.

“It happens,” Brooke said with a grin. “Hey, why don’t we save this unpacking for later and maybe go out and grab some food?”

“Sounds good,” Quinn told her and they left. And for the first time since the day Rachel left; Quinn didn’t even want to call Rachel… and that too felt good.

***

Rachel’s first day in her dorm was a very different experience than Quinn’s was. She met her roommate for a moment and then the girl disappeared and she spent the remainder of the night alone in her room unpacking. 

Once everything was unpacked she took a walk through the city right before dusk. She stopped at a café near her dorm for a coffee, and as she sat there drinking the best coffee she had ever tasted… she never felt so alone. Her phone buzzed and she felt butterflies in her stomach because she thought it may have been Quinn. When she pulled her phone out she saw that it said  _ Finn calling _ . She hit ignore, tucked her phone back into her pocket, and she finished her coffee while fighting the urge to call her dads to beg them to let her come back home.

Later, that night… her roommate still hadn’t returned and she was sitting near the window looking out at the amazing view and once again her thoughts went to Quinn.

_ I bet this time of night you’re still up _ \- she thought.  _ I bet you’re tired from a long hard week. _

*

And in New Haven after an amazing dinner, and unpacking all evening with her new friend Brooke who was currently fast asleep in her bed; Quinn was sitting in her own bed with a book in her lap, but instead of looking at the book she was looking at her phone. Rachel’s name was highlighted, her finger was hovering over the call button… and her thoughts were running wild.

_ I bet you’re sitting in a chair by the window looking out at the city. _

_ And I bet sometimes you wonder about me. _

“More like hope,” Quinn whispered to herself before she shut her phone off, put her book on her night table and laid down fully. And right before she dozed off to sleep she had one more thought.

Maybe tomorrow.

***

It had been two weeks.

Two weeks of living on her own, two weeks of Yale and her dorm, and Brooke.

And it had been a little over two months since that hug at the train station and the last time she had seen Rachel.

And it had been a little over a week since the first time she actually, and finally dialed Rachel’s number… which went unanswered.

And a little over a day since she tried again to call Rachel, and again it went unanswered. 

She wondered if Rachel missed her nearly as much as she missed the girl; but deep down she knew better. If Rachel had missed her even a little those calls wouldn’t have gone unanswered. And as she reached for the phone for the hundredth time she stopped herself and wondered if Rachel ever thought of her at all.

What she didn’t know was that in her dorm room at NYADA… 83.3 miles away Rachel was putting her phone down as well.

And what Quinn also didn’t know was that Rachel was missing her just as much.

_ I bet you think I either moved on or hate you. _

_ Because each time you reach out there’s no reply. _

Rachel picked up her phone again and looked at the two missed calls that she had gotten from Quinn and didn’t answer. She didn’t answer them because she was scared.

_ I bet it never occurred to you that I can’t say hello and risk another goodbye. _

“She probably would be surprised if I call her,” Rachel whispered to herself. “But I feel like I need to… she needs to know why I ignored her calls,” Rachel continued but then she heard her roommate moan and she curled her lip in disgust.

Every night for the past two weeks her roommate had a different “friend” over and tonight was no different.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she whispered again and got out of bed, grabbed a hoodie from her desk chair, and practically ran out of the room. 

As she walked the streets of New York on the lazy Saturday evening she thought about Quinn.

In fact, Quinn was always the most prevalent thought in her mind these days and it always made her feel bad because shouldn’t she be thinking about her boyfriend, and missing her boyfriend more than she was missing her…  _ friend _ .

“What if I just show up?” It didn’t matter that she was talking to herself. This was New York City and no one noticed. “I mean she gave me those tickets for a reason.”

*

In New Haven, Quinn was sitting in her bed on her laptop. She was working on a paper for her English class… or that was what she had been doing. Instead she was toying with the train ticket to New York that she had bought for herself.

“I-I should just go and surprise her,” she said out loud and then thanked god that Brooke was out with her girlfriend on a date. “I should just show up and say hi and…” she trailed off. “And what Quinn? Tell her that you’re crazy in love with her?” She said before she shook her head.

“No, she doesn’t want to see you… she doesn’t even want to talk to you,” she tried and failed to convince herself. She knew there was something else going on there. She knew that Rachel wouldn’t ignore her for no reason…the girl didn’t know how to be rude. She just wished she knew what that reason was. And then she thought about that moment in Puck’s bedroom and all of her hopes of being with Rachel were back.

_ In my dreams she’s touching my face- _ she thought.  _ And I hope sometimes she wonders about me _ .

“Forget it Quinn… it’s never going to happen,” she told herself again before she looked back at her laptop.

“What’s never going to happen?” Brooke’s voice broke her out of her Rachel fantasies and she looked up to see Brooke walk fully into the room and a short blonde girl following her inside.

_ Blonde and brunette… it figures _ .

“Oh… it was nothing,” Quinn said closing her laptop and meeting her friend’s gaze. “I-I was just thinking about…” her thoughts went to Rachel again. “A-About my paper.”

“Oh… okay,” Brooke said but Quinn could tell by her tone that she saw through the lie but she was grateful that she didn’t say anything. “Quinn… I’d like you to meet my girlfriend,” she motioned to the cute blonde girl that was holding her hand. “Quinn this is Kate… Kate this is my roommate and soon to be close friend Quinn,” Quinn smiled as the girl held out her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Quinn told her honestly as she shook her hand.

“So, I was thinking,” Brooke began. “If you’re not too busy studying would you like to go to a movie with us?”

“A-Are you sure… I don’t want to be a third wheel.”

“You won’t be,” Kate promised and Quinn smiled before she got off of her bed and followed her friends out. Watching two girls… a blonde and a brunette being together happily might be too much for Quinn to handle but these were her friends and she wanted…

No she needed to get her mind off of Rachel.

Even if it was just for the two hour duration of a movie.

At least it stopped her from calling Rachel… or worse, showing up in New York.

*

In Central Park, Rachel was sitting on a bench and toying with her phone. She had Quinn’s name highlighted and her finger was hovering over the call button.

_ I just want to tell her that it takes everything in me not to call her _ \- Rachel’s thoughts were running rampant.  _ I want her to know that every time I don’t… I almost do. _

She moved her finger down to a different name, highlighted it and this time she hit the call button.

It rang twice and then she heard his sweet voice.

“Hello.”

“Hey Finn,” Rachel said as she fought back her tears.

“Oh hey babe,” she could practically hear the smile in his voice and it made her feel guilty because he wasn’t the person she really wanted to be talking to… but she was scared.

She pushed all those thoughts and feelings aside and focused on her boyfriend who clearly missed her… and far more than she missed him. And again the guilt wracked her.

“I-I’m sorry I’ve missed your calls… it’s been crazy adjusting to life here,” she lied.

“That’s okay… I understand I’m just glad you called,” he said and tears fell down her cheeks because again she felt bad… and scared.

And more alone than she had ever felt in her life.

“So how’s it going?” Finn wondered. 

“It’s good,” she lied again.

***

_ “I wish that I could run to you and I hope you know that  _ _ every time I don’t, I almost do.” _

_ \--Taylor Swift; I Almost Do _


	3. Begin Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the original one-shot. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Taylor Swift, or any of her songs.

**Chapter 3: Begin Again**

***

Rac hel was in tears… for the fourth time this week.

She didn’t know why she was so upset over this it had been over four months since her not so official but obviously official first break up with Finn at the train station but this was real. This was her choice and not him making choices for her like he loved to do.

She did this and it was liberating.

And heart breaking.

And she was already worried that she wouldn’t find anyone ever again. Sure Brody was into her and he was super-hot but she just couldn’t look at him that way. She saw him as a friend and nothing more.

Finn loved her.

Sure he was completely selfish most of the time but he was the first boy that ever showed any interest in her and he was special.

She needed something, someone to talk to. Kurt tried to help but he was dealing with his own heartbreak and she didn’t want to burden him… and plus he wasn’t who she wanted.

He wasn’t who she needed.

Without her permission and without even fully realizing what she was doing, she was dialing the person she needed.

“Hello,” Quinn’s gravelly voice said over the line and that was when Rachel realized that it was quite late to be calling.

“Oh Quinn I’m sorry… I didn’t even look at the time… I-I I’ll just call you tom-” Quinn sat up in her bed at the sound of Rachel’s sad voice. It had been months since she last heard it. In fact, after two calls that went unanswered at the beginning of the year Quinn had given up on her… or tried to.

But now Rachel was calling.

And Rachel was crying.

“Wait Rach… a-are you crying?”

“Yeah um, it’s no b-big deal,” she was sobbing now. “I’m sorry I bothered you.”

“You’re not bothering me, just talk to me.”

“I um,” it was quiet for so long that Quinn looked at her phone to make sure they were still connected and when Rachel spoke again she heard a ray of hope for something she had given up on months ago. She heard the hope that maybe she wasn’t too late.

“I um… broke up with Finn,” Rachel cried. “F-For good this time and I just… It was the right thing to do but I don’t know Quinn I feel like I gave up on the only person that will ever love me.”

“He’s not the only one,” Quinn blurted out before she covered her mouth and pleaded to god that Rachel did catch on.

“How do you know?” Rachel asked and Quinn breathed a sigh of relief.

_ Good she didn’t catch on _ \- she thought-  _ but wait this is your chance don’t you want her to catch on _ ? She shook her head of all of her selfish thoughts and tried to be there for her friend.

“Rachel come on… you’re gorgeous, and sweet and talented and so much better off without Finn Hudson than you ever were with him,” she heard Rachel’s breath hitch on the first compliment but she knew if she had stopped she would have never finished.

“Y-You think I’m gorgeous?” She heard Rachel’s timid voice ask.

_ Yes. _

She wanted to scream _ Oh god yes Rachel and I want to marry you and have all of your little talented babies. _

Instead she cleared her throat and did what she does best.

She hid.

“I said a lot of things that are true about you Rachel and that is the one you’re caught up on?”

“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realize that hearing the most beautiful girl in the world say that about me was something I should just ignore.” This time Rachel heard Quinn’s breath hitch. It was silent for quite some time as both girls wanted to say more.

And neither girl did.

“S-So tell me how I can help?” Quinn finally asked.

“W-Well I-I really need someone to knock some sense into me so that I don’t call Finn and beg him to take me back and the only person that ever had enough guts to do that was you,” she heard Quinn laughing and the sound sent butterflies fluttering throughout her body.

_ So what if Quinn Fabray always made her just as special as Finn did? _

“And I was wondering if you would use the Metro North pass this weekend and save me from doing something stupid… once again.”

“I’ll be there tomorrow,” Quinn said quickly and then chastised herself for being too eager.

“But Quinn tomorrow is Wednesday… what about your classes?”

“You’re more important,” she blurted out again.

_ Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _

_ Get it together Quinn. _

“O-Okay thanks,” Rachel stammered nervously as the butterflies were fluttering throughout her body.

_ Fucking hell Rachel… it’s just Quinn. _

_ Your friend. _

__ “So I’ll take the earliest train in tomorrow and help you with this in person.”

“Thanks Quinn you’re like my knight with stunning hazel eyes,” she bit her lip when Quinn’s breath hitched again. 

Quinn took a few steadying breaths so that she wouldn’t blurt out all of her feelings for Rachel and tell her that she was in love with her and always would be. She took one last breath and then she spoke again.

“So tell me everything that happened and don’t leave anything out… did Finn cry?”

“Quinn don’t be mean,” she said and heard Quinn giggled. 

_ Oh the things she would do for that laugh.  _

“Okay sorry… just tell me.”

And as they talked well into the night Rachel realized that she was no longer sad, no longer needing Finn, and for the first time since she left home she felt like she was in the right place.

And talking to the right person.

And she felt better… the same way Quinn could always make her feel better.

In this moment, she couldn’t remember what she had been so afraid of when Quinn called those two times… and she wished she had never ignored her.

***

The next day after an awkward hug at the train station Rachel brought Quinn to the café that she had become fond of. It was close to NYADA and it had the best coffee she has ever had. They ordered their coffee and sat at a table in the corner.

“So how have you been?” Rachel asked as Quinn took her coat off and sat down. She smiled and tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear.

“I’m good I guess… lots of work and auditioning for the drama department’s upcoming play,” she said and Rachel beamed.

“Ooh I better get a ticket to that… I miss seeing you shine,” she said, Quinn blushed, and laughed nervously, and Rachel just watched; she loved seeing Quinn like this… so free and happy. 

She was so used to her being miserable and she was glad that she was finally happy.

“So any new guys in your life?” Rachel wondered. Quinn’s blush deepened and Rachel’s smile widened.

“A-About that I um-”

“So there is a guy,” Rachel cut her off and Quinn shook her head.

“No it’s…” she trailed off and Rachel could tell she was searching for the right words but then she shook her head again, waved her hands in front of her, and looked Rachel in the eye. “We’re not here to talk about me. We’re here to talk about you. Why do you think you’ll call him and beg him to come back?” Rachel could tell that Quinn was uncomfortable with what she was hiding so Rachel let it go…for now.

“It’s just that he um… he loved me and I always felt like as long as I had him I didn’t have to be afraid of being alone.”

“You don’t have to worry about that Rachel you will find someone who loves you… like really loves you.”

“Finn does love me.”

“Yeah sure he does, I’m not disputing that but he loves you on his terms and with his conditions,” she saw Rachel bite her lip and nod. “Are you finally going to listen to what I have to say without telling me I’m wrong and thinking I want him for myself,” Rachel chuckled and nodded again.

“Yes Quinn…I’m finally ready to hear what you’ve always wanted to tell me,” and Quinn felt butterflies in her stomach because it sounded like Rachel was hinting at Quinn’s real truth.

Maybe she was.

Quinn took a few deep breaths and continued.

“Finn does love you that much has always been true… but Rachel he doesn’t cherish you the way he should… the way you deserve. He thinks his non-existant dreams are more important than your lifelong dream, he forgets that you’re vegan, he can’t seem to put what you want before anything he wants and you deserve someone that would be willing to drop everything to take a train to New York in the middle of the week just to make you smile,” Quinn covered her mouth and Rachel’s dropped open.

The silence was deafening as both girls stared in shock at each other.

Rachel’s mind was reeling; she instantly understood everything. She saw all the things that Quinn had been trying to show her for three years. The name calling, the drawings, keeping Finn away from her. The tentative friendship, the real friendship, the desperate pleading in her eyes when she begged her not to marry him, and when she begged her again to not marry him, and then the acceptance, and now the overwhelming truth of it all.

Quinn was in love with her.

Quinn had always been in love with her.

And she liked it.

“I’m sorry I,” Quinn stammered and Rachel stared and she realized for the first time ever that Quinn was never trying to take Finn she was trying to take her. It made all of Finn’s faults finally come seeping out of her denial and was so glaringly obvious that she knew Quinn had been right all along.

Finn never appreciated anything about her.

It was so obvious.

And she had spent the last few months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end.

But on this Wednesday…

In this café…

She was watching it begin again.

Quinn got to her feet and was going to run as far and as fast away from Rachel as she could. But before she could get far she felt Rachel’s hand circle around her wrist and Rachel got to her feet.

“Quinn I-”

“No… No Rachel please just forget I said anything.”

“You love me,” she said and saw Quinn’s eyes fill with tears. And then she saw all the fear and regret leave Quinn. A tear slid down her perfect cheek, and she nodded.

*

Quinn couldn’t believe what she had just said. 

She literally just blurted it out and she was freaking the fuck out. And then Rachel was just staring at her like she was a crazy person.

Hell she was crazy.

She needed to get the hell out of there and as fast as possible. But then Rachel’s hand and was on hers and her heart stopped.

Or skipped.

Or something was fucking malfunctioning because she had just told Rachel in one sentence everything she has been denying, and hiding, and not hiding very well for three years.

For three fucking years and she just blurted it out.

But Rachel wasn’t running or yelling or freaking out.

_ Why isn’t she freaking out? _

_ I’m freaking the fuck out! _

And then Rachel looked at her.

“You love me,” she said and Quinn couldn’t deny it anymore. She just didn’t have it in her. She felt the fear and regret leave her and she nodded.

“I always have,” she said softly and then she felt Rachel wipe away a tear she didn’t even know was there. But Rachel’s hand stayed there and Rachel was pulling her closer.

And she stopped breathing.

_ Breathe you fucking idiot this is the moment you have been waiting for. _

When Rachel’s lips pressed against hers she felt home; she felt like this is what she was always supposed to be doing. She gripped Rachel by the waist and pulled her closer; taking control. 

Rachel felt Quinn’s tongue swipe across her bottom lip as she tried to deepen the kiss and Rachel opened her mouth willingly. When Quinn’s tongue filled her mouth she knew that this was right. She knew that this was the reason she always sought Quinn out, and wanted to help her, and be her friend even after everything that happened between them. She knew that it was  _ this  _ feeling that drove her.

She was just as in love with Quinn as thought she was with Finn.

And this kiss was everything she never knew she wanted.

She circled her arms around Quinn’s neck and pulled her closer. She felt more than heard Quinn moan into her mouth and she became instantly aroused.

_ Fucking hell _ \- she thought-  _ Why hadn’t they been doing this for years? _

_ Maybe they could be for years to come? _

Quinn reluctantly pulled out of the kiss and they were both breathless.

“That was-”

“Everything,” Quinn cut her off.

“Yeah,” Rachel said stupidly.

“I’m sorry for blurting it out like that,” Quinn told her and Rachel nodded. 

“Come back and sit down,” she said and Quinn nodded before taking her seat again. “Please don’t apologize for being honest for the first time ever.”

“Okay… a-and I’m sorry for making this about my feelings for you instead of what it was meant to be.”

“Stop apologizing Quinn,” Quinn blushed and looked down. “Am I surprised? Yes… does this change things? I sure hope so,” she said with a chuckle and Quinn looked up and smiled. “But do I regret you saying that? No… not at all. I kissed you remember?” Quinn nodded.

“Yeah um, about that… I thought you were straight.”

“I thought you were too,” Rachel informed her.

“Touché,” Quinn said with a deep blush covering her cheeks. “About that… what I was trying to say earlier when you asked if I was seeing someone.”

“You’re not are you?” Rachel wondered disappointed; and Quinn smiled at the fact that Rachel sounded disappointed. She shook her head.

“No I’m not.”

“Oh thank Barbra,” Rachel blurted out and this time she covered her mouth. Quinn just laughed.

“Well I’ve come to a few realizations about myself since I’ve been away from Lima… a few truths that I’ve always known but never had the balls to admit in that small minded town.”

“And they are?”

“I’m gay,” she said and Rachel gasped. “And I’m in love with you,” Rachel felt those familiar butterflies flutter through her again. Butterflies she felt every single time she was around this girl and only just now fully realized why. “And you?” Quinn waited.

“I’m not really sure Quinn,” she said honestly. “I mean I have always only been attracted to boys,” she saw Quinn frown and it was so cute that she just wanted to kiss it off. “But there was also a reason why I always knew everything about you, and why I always wanted to help you, and be friends with you. Why I almost kissed you at Puck’s party, and why I have been avoiding your calls since then,” she saw Quinn nod. “I’m sorry about that by the way.”

“You don’t have to apologize, I understand… trust me,” she saw Rachel’s smile return and she felt her stomach twist at the thought of actually getting to date Rachel. “But I really need to know… what, I mean why… what the reason is that you did all those things?” She stammered.

“I don’t know, maybe I’m bi… maybe I’m Quinn-sexual,” she said and Quinn giggled. “But all I do know for sure is that when you kissed me back, I felt it all the way to my toes, Quinn… and that has never happened before.”

“Never?” She asked with a stupid grin on her face.

“No… and I’ve also never been that turned on by a kiss before.”

“Y-Y-You were turned on? Oh fuck Rachel you are going to be the death of me.”

“You are so cute Quinn,” Rachel told her honestly and Quinn laughed. And that sound was one of Rachel’s very favorite sounds. As she watched this girl who was always so sad laughing like a little kid she knew, it was strange that she found her funny because he never did.

This feeling was new, and wonderful, and she just wanted to feel this way forever.

“So you like me then?”

“I-I think I love you Quinn,” she admitted and Quinn gasped. “I mean I only just realized this today… I haven’t known as long as you have but yeah you definitely have a part of my heart… most of it actually,” Quinn smiled like a fool.

“Well in that case and I know you’re not ready for anything serious yet… but I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date with me?”

“I would love to,” Rachel said and reached for Quinn’s hand. “But that is going to be our second date because this one is our first.”

“I’m glad I came here today Rachel.”

“Me too.”

“It changed everything.”

“It sure did,” Rachel said and with that they fell into a comfortable conversation and as Rachel watched her she felt it begin again.

***

_ “On a Wednesday in a café, I watched it begin again.” _

_ \--Taylor Swift; Begin Again _


	4. Treacherous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mild sexy times  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Taylor Swift, or any of her songs.

**Chapter 4: Treacherous**

***

It started out like any other date.

Just like every other date that Rachel and Quinn had gone on in the last six weeks of their courtship. Either Quinn would take the train to New York or Rachel would take it to New Haven and they would go out on a date; and at the end of each date they would kiss.

Sometimes it was a brief goodnight kiss; and sometimes it definitely wasn’t brief…

But at the end of each and every date one girl would go to her room or bed and the other would go to the couch or floor that she always slept on when they visit one another.

Both would toss and turn and neither would get any sleep. They would just lay in wonder about what the other one was thinking… and feeling.

But tonight was different; tonight the goodnight kiss didn’t end at the door… the goodnight kiss made it all the way to the couch in Rachel’s loft apartment. 

And the goodnight kiss was still going.

Thankfully Kurt was out for the night; because Quinn was sitting on the couch and with the way Rachel was straddling her, and the way Rachel’s hips were grinding into her own; Kurt would’ve been mortified; but Quinn was in heaven. She had no intentions of stopping… or sleeping and she hoped Rachel felt the same way.

Rachel was getting wetter by the second as she writhed in Quinn’s lap while they made out like the teenagers they were. She tried to stop but the gravity was too much. 

Also she really, really didn’t want to stop… like at all.

She pressed her lips harder against Quinn’s and sucked gently on Quinn’s tongue, she tangled her fingers through Quinn’s hair and she never wanted to stop.

It never felt like this with Finn.

It never felt like this with Jesse… or Noah.

And she just wanted to get lost in Quinn forever.

She was quicksand.

However, even though she was excited, turned on… and in this moment completely falling in love with Quinn she felt like it was too much… too fast… too soon.

It was all happening right now and she needed to slow it down, so with great reluctance and in a moment she knew she would later regret she pulled out of the kiss and away from those amazing lips. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked down at the girl of her dreams.

And that girl looked like…

With Quinn’s swollen lips, flushed cheeks… with passion and desire burning in her now very dark hazel eyes she looked like an angel. She had always been the most beautiful girl Rachel had ever seen… but seeing her like this was even better.

And Rachel almost lost herself again. She shook away the naughty thoughts and tried to form words.

“We should stop,” she said with a heavy breath and after the smallest of moments Quinn replied.

“O-Okay,” she seemed disappointed but Rachel couldn’t hear that in her tone or see it in those eyes. All she could see and hear was endless patience. Of course she still saw all of Quinn’s desire for her, and how much Quinn wanted her.

_ How had she missed it all these years? _

Rachel could feel that Quinn was just as turned on as she was but when she pulled away there was no anger, no arguing, no pouting, and no hurt in her expression and for Rachel that was a nice change from what she was used to.

And it made her want Quinn even more.

“Or maybe…” Rachel trailed off before she leaned into Quinn again. She put her lips close to hers and exhaled dreamily; her fingers tugging the small hairs at the back of Quinn’s head as their foreheads pressed together; their lips not touching.

Out of focus… eye to eye

Until again the gravity was too much.

“I’ll do anything you say,” Rachel husked. “If you say it with your hands.” At those words Quinn became more aroused that she already was. 

“Fuck,” she whispered before crashing her lips against Rachel’s once more. And just like that they were back in the heat of the moment. Rachel pressed her hips against Quinn’s over and over as the making out became more intense. Rachel shivered in ecstasy as Quinn ran her fingers up and down her back.

This slope was treacherous.

This path was reckless.

Neither girl knew if they were ready to take this step, to go down this reckless path just yet; but both girls were sure of one thing.

They liked it.

But nothing safe was worth the drive and both of these girls would follow the other anywhere.

“Touch me Quinn,” Rachel panted as she took her lips off of Quinn’s and arched her neck back. Quinn took the hint and lowered her lips to Rachel’s exposed neck. 

“I am touching you,” Quinn said between kisses.

“Touch me more,” she begged and it took everything in Quinn not to touch her everywhere she had been dreaming about touching her for years.

She wasn’t sure if she was ready for lesbian sex…or if she even knew how to have lesbian sex. She had only admitted it out loud a few months ago and she had been sure it was going to be years- not months- before she would have to worry about it; she had planned on studying.

She wasn’t experienced at sex at all… never mind the art of pleasing a woman.

_ All we are is skin and bones… trained to get along. _

_ Forever going with the flow… but she’s friction. _

_ Her name echoed through Quinn’s mind for years… but she never thought this day would come. _

But then Rachel moaned.

And Quinn stopped thinking, she stopped worrying… she almost stopped breathing.

_ Maybe it was more about instinct _ \- she thought-  _ But making Rachel moan like that told her all that she needed to know or worry about. _

She just knew without a shadow of a doubt that she wanted to do everything in her power to get Rachel to make that sound again… over and over.

For years to come.

“Quinn,” Rachel breathed out and Quinn had never loved the sound of her own name more than when it came out of Rachel’s mouth that way.

“Yeah baby,” Quinn husked and she stopped kissing Rachel’s neck, she pulled back, and met her lust filled stare.

Both girls were surprised by the term of endearment… but both girls loved it.

“I-I want… I want,” Rachel stammered.

“Tell me what you want babe,” Quinn was feeling confident now. “And I’ll give it to you.”

“Oh gosh,” Rachel moaned at the thought of Quinn doing things to her, and Quinn’s hands on her, and Quinn’s mouth on her. “Oh gosh,” she repeated and Quinn couldn’t help but chuckle with pride. 

“You’re so cute Rachel,” Quinn said with a grin and then she moaned when Rachel rocked her hips again; making contact with her swollen clit. 

“You’re fucking hot Quinn,” Rachel groaned and Quinn’s eyes darkened with desire and her panties became even more wet than they already were.

“So are you baby,” Quinn told her as she placed her hands on Rachel’s hips and helping her grind down again. The feeling… the friction… was driving her crazy. “I-I want…”

“You can have whatever you want… just- just touch me.”

“I am touching you,” Quinn teased.

“Touch me more,” Rachel begged repeating her words from earlier.

“Where?” Quinn asked in a naughty tone and Rachel’s eyes fluttered open and locked on those dark hazel, and that damn arched eyebrow.

“Here,” she husked and pulled her shirt up and over her head in one quick motion to reveal her bra clad breasts. Quinn’s eyes popped open and her mouth watered.

She wanted to kiss Rachel there.

She wanted to kiss Rachel everywhere.

“Touch me,” Rachel said for a third time and Quinn was damn well not going to make her say it again. She slowly slid her hands from Rachel’s waist up her belly, and over those perfect breasts; she felt her nipples harden under her hands.

Both girls let out a heavy sigh and both girls were completely turned on.

“Oh god Rach… you feel so good.”

“You too… It’s never, I-I’ve never… it’s never felt so good.”

“Never?” Quinn asked with a surprised but equally arrogant smirk.

“Never,” Rachel repeated as she covered Quinn’s caressing hands with her own. “Quinn… you’re-you’re,” she stammered. “Stunningly beautiful,” Quinn couldn’t fight the smile that those words brought. “A-And,” Rachel’s eyes fluttered closed as Quinn’s fingers gave her feelings she has never felt before. “And you’re all mine.”

“I’ve always been all yours Rachel,” Quinn whispered loud enough for Rachel to hear.

“I’ve always been yours too,” she promised and once again she locked her eyes with Quinn’s. “It just took me forever to get here.” Quinn’s smile widened.

“You were worth the wait.”

“I want you,” Rachel husked.

“I want you too.”

“No I mean,” Rachel chuckled nervously. “Yeah that too,” Rachel had lost her train of thought. She had intended to ask Quinn to be her girlfriend… officially; but the words came out differently, full of desire, and want.

Because Quinn’s hands were on her.

And Quinn’s eyes were on her.

She forgot what she wanted to say and focused on what she needed to feel instead.

“Then what do you want Rachel?” With those words she took her hands from on top of Quinn’s and reached behind herself; she unhooked her bra and let it fall loose.

“I want your mouth,” she said with a heavy breath and Quinn could’ve come from her words alone.

“Oh fuck,” Quinn moaned and dropped her hands. She watched Rachel take the straps off of her arms, and let the bra fall between them. Quinn licked her lips with want as she stared at those perky breasts and beautiful hard nipples.

Without thinking, Quinn leaned forward and closed her mouth around Rachel’s left nipple; and they both moaned.

Rachel instinctively tangled her fingers in Quinn’s hair.

Quinn gripped Rachel’s back and laved her tongue around and over the nipple in her mouth while also sucking it into her mouth. Rachel rocked her hips again causing a surge of pure ecstasy to course through Quinn’s body; and she wondered why she hadn’t been doing this for years.

“Oh… Quinn,” Rachel moaned as she gripped Quinn’s head and held her close. “Why haven’t I ever felt like this before?” Quinn smirked around the nipple in her mouth at that rhetorical question.

“Why haven’t we been doing this for years?”

“My thoughts exactly,” Quinn mumbled. 

“Huh?” After a moment Quinn released it with a pop and looked up at Rachel’s dark and extremely turned on eyes.

“I said… my thoughts exactly,” she repeated before she moved Rachel off of her lap to lie her down on the couch. As Quinn hovered over her… ready to return to her task at hand… or mouth.

Rachel stopped her.

“Wait.”

“Oh uh… sorry… was it too forceful… did I move too fast or was it-”

“No,” Rachel cut her off with a giggle. “I just want to even the playing field,” she continued while pushing Quinn’s shirt up.

She watched as Quinn’s face flushed with embarrassment but she didn’t stop her. In fact, she helped by taking the shirt from Rachel and pulling it up, over her head, and tossing it behind her.

But Rachel didn’t notice that… she was too focused on all of the pale, beautiful skin that had just been revealed to her. The look in Rachel’s eyes was a look Quinn had long dreamt about seeing, but gave up on thinking she would ever really see it. 

But here she was… looking at Rachel as Rachel looked at her topless; when Rachel’s tongue darted out to wet her lips Quinn melted. She often dreamt about what that tongue would feel like on her body. And as if Rachel was reading her mind; she sat up and reached around Quinn’s body.

Quinn sucked in a breath when Rachel’s fingers slid along her back and toyed with the clasp of her bra. The sound stopped Rachel in her tracks and she looked up at Quinn through the tops of her eyes… what she saw was pure desire and love; that feeling alone was all Rachel had ever dreamed of. She knew this was where she belonged all along; but she wanted to make sure that Quinn was on the same page.

“Is this okay?”

“More than,” she promised with her signature smirk. “Touch me Rachel,” and this time it was Rachel’s turn to almost lose it right there.

“Wow,” was all she said as she finished with the clasp. Her nerves decided to show up now just when she thought her swag would get her through; Quinn giggled as Rachel struggled.

“Here… let me help,” she husked and again Rachel’s head was spinning with desire. She let go and watched as Quinn reached back, unhooked her bra like a pro, and then pulled it off.

Rachel’s nerves were instantly forgotten at the sight.

Without thinking she leaned forward, and she closed her mouth around Quinn’s hard nipple.

“Oh fuck,” Quinn cussed and she grasped Rachel’s head. The sound of Quinn cussing turned Rachel on even more than she already was. Her fingers grasped at Quinn’s back as she sucked and licked her perfect pink nipple.

“Oh god,” Quinn moaned while rocking her hips down, which caused Rachel to moan in unison because the motion caused twinges in her clit.

_ Never, ever have I felt this way _ \- Rachel’s mind was going crazy and all she wanted was more. She slid her hands down Quinn’s back and over her ass. She cupped it and pulled Quinn impossibly closer. 

“Rach… oh, y-you feel so good,” at those words Rachel released her nipple and looked up into those dark eyes.

“You too,” she said quickly before she tilted her head and captured the other nipple in her mouth. Rachel moved her hands from Quinn’s ass to her hips and she pulled her closer against herself. The action pressed their bodies together fully and they both moaned in pleasure.

But Rachel also felt Quinn tense up and she immediately stopped all movement.

“Are you… okay?”

“Y-Yeah,” Quinn stammered as the heat was instantly turned off between them.

“Are you sure, because we can stop-”

“I don’t want to,” Quinn told her.

“Okay.”

“But I think…” there was a long pause before she continued as she was trying to gauge Rachel expression. “I-I think we should,” she finished hoping she wasn’t disappointed.

“Okay,” Rachel repeated and Quinn heard that there was no disappointment in her tone at all.

“Are you mad?” Quinn asked before she bit her lip and Rachel furrowed her brow.

“Mad? Why would I be mad?” Rachel asked as she handed Quinn’s bra to her. Quinn slid off of her and Rachel got up to retrieve Quinn’s shirt from the floor behind her as well as her own shirt. Once they were both fully dressed again; Rachel sat back down on the couch next to Quinn and smiled. “Do you think I’m shallow?”

“N-No,” Quinn stammered. “Not at all… I just didn’t want to like lead you on or whatever.”

“It’s fine baby,” Rachel ran her fingers up Quinn’s arm leaving chill bumps in her wake. Both girls smiled at the action and the reaction. “If you hadn’t have stopped us, I would have.”

“Really?” Quinn asked thrilled.

“Yes… I promise, I was freaking out too,” she saw Quinn’s face flush with embarrassment again and she grinned at the sight. She had never seen Quinn look more beautiful than she was in this moment… so free and open and honest.

“W-Why were you freaking out… was it um… bad?”

“Are you kidding me Quinn?” The look on Quinn’s face told her that she was definitely not kidding so Rachel quickly continued. “I have  _ never  _ been so turned on in my life.”

“Really?” Her face broke into a wide grin.

“Yes really,” Rachel promised before she leaned over and kissed the tip of Quinn’s nose in a very sweet peck. “I was freaking out for the same reasons you were.”

“Which were?” Quinn pushed she was trying to make sure they really were on the same page.

“It’s too soon… mostly,” Rachel answered to which Quinn nodded and exhaled loudly with relief. “I-I mean I want you Quinn… I want this more than anything.”

“Me too,” Quinn grinned before continuing. 

“But it’s only been six weeks, and we’re both responsible and rational people,” Quinn nodded again. “And also… lesbian sex is new to both of us…” she paused as it occurred to her that maybe it was only new to her and that maybe Quinn did have some experience with it. “I-I-I mean it is to me anyway… I can’t speak for you.”

“It is to me too,” Quinn promised and this time Rachel exhaled a sigh of relief. She just didn’t want to think about Quinn doing this with anyone else but her. “I-I’ve never… you’re the only one Rachel.”

“I thought so,” Rachel cut off her stammering. “I-I mean I hoped so, but I didn’t want to make any assumptions."   


“Okay.”

“So… I think when we’re ready we’ll know and until then we can do…” she trailed off and flashed a naughty grin. “Do more of this.”

“Yeah I like this,” Quinn agreed with a giggle.

“Me too,” Rachel said and then there was a moment of silence between them as both girls thought about what they were supposed to do now. “So… do you want to go to bed?” Rachel asked completely innocently but Quinn giggled and her face turned red. “To sleep… I mean to sleep, and nothing more.”

“Well I’ll be doing something more,” Quinn said teasingly and Rachel’s face turned even redder than it already was.

“Quinn Fabray!” And Quinn just giggled more.

“I meant I was going to dream about you,” she watched Rachel’s face go from embarrassed to swooning in an instant. “What’d you think I meant?”

“I-I… I uh… so sleep,” Rachel got to her feet and Quinn followed suit. “Just forget it,” she said covering her face and turning away. She didn’t get very far however, because she felt Quinn tug her shirt and pull her back. Rachel turned to face Quinn and sucked in a surprise breath at how close the girl was. And as Quinn’s arms slipped around her body and closed around her back; hugging her tight she exhaled with a contented sigh.

“I love you,” Quinn said and took Rachel’s breath away.

Quinn was always taking her breath away.

“I love you too Quinn,” she replied and was met with a big smile. 

“Goodnight,” Quinn whispered as she leaned over and kissed the girl of her dreams. Each girl fought the passion that the kissing stirred inside them and kept it sweet and simple. When Quinn pulled back, Rachel stared into those beautiful eyes.

“I-I… I like this,” Rachel said with a frustrated sigh over her stuttering.

“I-I love this,” Quinn teased with a wink and Rachel sighed heavily and lovingly pushed the girl away.

“Go to sleep,” Rachel told her before she winked. They stared at each other for a few moments before Rachel turned toward her room and Quinn turned to the chair where there was a pillow and blankets that Rachel had brought out to her before their make-out session had begun.

And as Quinn spread out the blankets on the couch.

And as Rachel turned down the blankets on her bed.

Both girls could only think of the other and how they would much rather be sleeping in each other’s arms but they were ready for that step.

And that was okay.

They were comfortably lying down and trying to sleep; hoping that tonight was going to be different… but it wasn’t.

Both girls tossed and turned and it was clear that neither was going to get any sleep. They just spent the night in wonder about what the other one was thinking… and feeling.

Just like every night they have spent together over the last six weeks as well.

And that was also okay.

***

_ “I can’t decide if it’s a choice, getting swept away. I hear the  _ _ sound of my own voice, asking you to stay.” _

_ \--Taylor Swift; Treacherous _


	5. Everything Has Changed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sexy times.  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Taylor Swift, or any of her songs.

**Chapter 5: Everything Has Changed**

***

It had been two weeks since Rachel and Quinn had flirted with going all the way.

It had been two months of dating.

Two months of phone calls, and Skype, and weekend dates that usually ended in heated make out sessions.

And two months since she last cried over Finn Hudson.

Dating Quinn has changed everything; and it made her wish she hadn’t wasted some of her most cherished memories on Finn. It’s not that every moment with him was bad; because it wasn’t. He was thoughtless and selfish; but he was still her first everything, and he would always hold a special place in her heart.

But there were times… like when Quinn would kiss her below her ear; the sensation that would spread throughout her entire body was incredible. Finn never made her feel like that, not once. 

Or there were the times when she and Quinn went on dates and Quinn would hold the door for her. It was something so simple, and sweet, and romantic… and Finn had never done that.

Rachel found herself always thinking about how different high school would’ve been if she had been on Quinn’s arm instead of Finn’s… and every single time she felt butterflies at all of the what ifs.

But she couldn’t live in the past.

She needed to focus on the now.

Quinn was coming over in a half hour for their two month anniversary.

Two months since that Wednesday in the café where she felt it begin again.

Two months since everything has changed.

***

Quinn was wringing her hands nervously as she approached Rachel’s apartment. She couldn’t figure out why she was so nervous. They had been on plenty of dates. Eight weekend’s worth of dates to be exact. They had kissed and touched, and during make out sessions their hands wandered; nothing too serious, until…

Until two weeks ago when things got heated, and heavy, and they almost let their hormones take them to the place that their emotions weren’t ready for just yet. And since then; things between them have been different, better…

They had been more flirty during their phone calls, there had been more eye sex and naughty talk during their Skype sessions, and more touchy during their dates.

They both knew that they were nearly ready; which was confirmed the night before when Quinn called her for their Skype date and Rachel was looking at her differently… she was just staring. 

She was staring so much that Quinn got worried. When Rachel finally spoke she said:  _ I want to know you better _ . Quinn laughed at that and replied with:  _ Rachel we’ve known each other for four years already. _ And she replied with:  _ Yeah but I want to know you better _ . The way her eyes looked as she said it; Quinn felt butterflies and she knew in that moment that everything had changed.

Quinn was nervous because tonight she was going to have sex for the first time since the night Beth was conceived. She was going to have sex for the first time with a girl. She was going to have sex for the first time with the only person she has ever loved.

_ And she was freaking the fuck out _ .

She reached up and knocked on the door, within a moment Rachel opened it. And just like every day since she first met the girl the sight took her breath away.

“Hey,” Rachel greeted with a warm smile and Quinn melted. She felt her heart pounding in her chest and after staring at her for a few moments with her mouth open; she closed her mouth and pulled a bouquet of gardenias from behind her back.

“Hello,” she handed a smiling Rachel the flowers and stepped closer. She leaned down and pressed her lips against Rachel’s in a chaste and perfect kiss; Rachel wanted more. Hell she wanted to pull Quinn inside, shove her against the closed door, and rip those clothes off of that amazing body.

She wanted more.

But she knew that she needed to wait… at least until the end of the date.

So instead she took the flowers.

“These are beautiful Quinn,” she waved Quinn inside and Quinn followed, closing the door behind them. 

“You’re beautiful,” Quinn told her. Rachel turned back quickly, which Quinn wasn’t expecting and they were suddenly inches apart. Rachel couldn’t control herself in that moment. She dropped the gardenias to the floor as she pressed her body against Quinn, circled her hand around Quinn’s neck, and their lips crashed together in a scorching kiss. She pressed her tongue against Quinn’s open lips before sliding her tongue into that incredible mouth.

“Mm… I want you Quinn,” she moaned before moving her lips to Quinn’s neck. She knew Quinn wanted it too. She could tell by the way her neck arched and the breathy moans escaping her lips.

“I-I… fuck I want you too,” she trailed off when she felt Rachel moan into her neck. And she gasped when she felt Rachel’s hand press against her breast. “”Uhh… oh god b-baby,” Rachel pulled her lips away from Quinn’s neck, and her hand away from Quinn’s amazing breast, and then her eyes met beautiful hazel.

“This is all I have been thinking about for the past eighteen hours Quinn,” she husked and Quinn nodded.

“M-Me t-too,” Quinn stammered. She took a few steadying breaths before continuing. “I-I want you so much Rachel… I have wanted this for years, and for the last two months, and I get wet every time you’re near me.”

“Fuck Quinn…” Rachel said, biting her lip. “You can’t say things like that if you’re trying to get me to stop.”

“I-I’m not… fuck,” she was getting so annoyed with the stuttering. “I-I’m sorry Rachel I guess I’m just really nervous.”

“Okay,” Rachel took a deep breath. “Come here.” She picked the flowers up off the floor and placed them in a nearby vase; and then she took Quinn’s hand. She led Quinn over to the couch and they sat down. “I feel like I should explain what happened last night.”

“That would be nice,” Quinn agreed, with a nervous chuckle and Rachel smiled at her adorableness.

“Ever since that day in the cafe Quinn… you’re all I think about,” Quinn smiled at that. “I have enjoyed the last two months of us dating and kissing… especially the kissing.” Quinn laughed at that and Rachel reached for her hand, interlocked their fingers. “Last night when we were talking I was looking at you and those incredible eyes,” she saw Quinn’s cheeks flush but the girl’s eyes never left hers. “I just realized that I have been missing you all this time… and I just want to know you better… I want all of you Quinn,” Quinn nodded. “And I want to give you all of me.”

“I want you too… all of you,” she reached up with a shaky hand, tucked a loose piece of hair behind Rachel’s ear, and bit her lip. “I want all of you… a-and I know back on that perfect Wednesday, I said I knew you weren’t ready for anything serious and I meant that Rachel. I don’t want this if you aren’t completely mine.”

“But don’t you see… I always have been. I mean at least some part of me was,” Quinn nodded because she did understand. 

“But it’s been two months, and you were with Finn for three years… on and off but still Rachel I don’t want to be a distraction… I want to be everything.”

“But don’t you see that you are,” Rachel said and inched closer. She wrapped her arms around Quinn’s neck. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Everything has changed Quinn and when I look at my future now… it’s you I see. I’m trying to tell you that I’m over him; and it was easier that I thought it would be to get over him because what I realized was that he was never who I wanted… he was only what I thought I could have. Last night looking into your eyes over that webcam I realized that it was you… it’s always been you.” Quinn nodded. 

“It’s always been you too.”

“I’m in love with you Quinn… I mean I always have been but here and now in this moment you have my heart… one hundred percent… I’m yours.”

“Mine?”

“If you want it.”

“I’ve never wanted anything more,” she crashed her lips against Rachel’s and felt Rachel tighten her arms around her neck. She slipped her tongue past Rachel’s willing lips and felt home. Her hands roamed up Rachel’s back and she felt herself being thrust up against the couch effectively breaking the kiss. Her eyes opened and what she saw caused her to soak through her panties.

Rachel Berry was looking at her with a wanton lust filled fire in her eyes and she never saw anything more incredibly sexy in her life and then Rachel straddled her legs; and that was even sexier.

They had been here before… two weeks ago in fact.

But this time this was different.

They both knew that tonight there would be no stopping.

“Quinn,” she husked as she pressed her chest against Quinn’s chest. “Please Quinn… please make love to me.” And Quinn growled. There was something about Rachel begging that had her heart pounding, butterflies fluttering, and her clit throbbing all at the same time.

“I-I will b-but um… I need to ask you something first.”

“Anything,” Rachel hummed.

“Will you be mine?” Rachel nodded. “O-Offically… will you be my girlfriend Rachel?” Rachel let out a breathy chuckle.

“I thought I already was,” she said and pressed her lips to Quinn’s but when she tried to deepen it, she felt resistance so she pulled back. “Quinn?”

“Please Rachel… I need- I need to hear it.”

“Yes,” she kissed her again. “I would love to be your girlfriend,” Quinn kissed her that time and then let out a loud squeal that had Rachel giggling. “But Quinn,” Quinn’s mood shifted when she heard that.

“But what,” there was dread in her tone and Rachel smiled.

“You should know that I already thought I was… in fact a part of me has always belonged to you Quinn,” Quinn nodded. “And now all of me does… I’m yours.”

“Mine,” this time it wasn’t a question. This time Quinn said it proudly; Rachel saw the pride in her eyes. She felt just as proud to be Quinn’s girlfriend and have Quinn be hers.

“Yes baby… all yours. Now will you let me have you?” Quinn nodded emphatically.

“Yes please,” and Rachel crashed their lips together again. Once the need for air became too great Rachel pulled away and Quinn smiled up at her. She took a deep breath and thought about just how much everything has changed.

She now had Rachel above her, kissing her, straddling her, and Rachel Berry was finally her girlfriend. She cupped her cheek.

“I-I… I mean y-you should know that I’ve never done this,” Quinn stammered and Rachel arched her eyebrow.

“Quinn,” she saw Quinn’s eyes meet hers. “You had Beth and-”

“N-No I mean yeah I’ve  _ done it _ ,” Rachel giggled because she whispered the words as if it were a secret. She knew that Quinn fought her strict Christian upbringing every day by being who she really is, and sometimes certain things were hard for her. “In fact that time… w-was the only time.”

“Really?”

“Yes really,” Quinn blushed bright. “So the fact of the matter is… you, Rachel have far more experience with  _ sex _ than I do,” she whispered sex and Rachel withheld another chuckle. She didn’t want Quinn to think she was laughing at her. She was stripped bare and being completely honest with her and that made Rachel fall deeper in love. 

“Actually I don’t.”

“What?” Rachel saw both confusion and a glimmer of hope cross Quinn’s face at the same time and she just looked even more beautiful than Rachel had ever seen her before.

_ And that was saying a lot _ .

“I um… Finn and I… we only… did it once,” She admitted and watched Quinn’s eyebrows arch. She didn’t say anything.

Quinn had been rendered speechless. She spent the entire second half of last year thinking that Rachel and Finn had been going at it like bunnies and to know they hadn’t been made her immensely happy; but also incredibly confused.

“But wait… you were going to get married.”

“I-I know and…” she trailed off to take a deep breath. “Okay… so after asking you girls what I should do… do you remember that?”

“Yeah fucking Tina and her stupid advice,” Quinn shouted and Rachel smiled. She thought back to that day and the look on Quinn’s face when Tina convinced her to have sex with Finn; Quinn was devastated.

_ How the fuck did she miss this for so long? _

“Yeah… well Tina had convinced me to go for it,” Quinn rolled her eyes. “But as I was walking toward his house all I could see was your face, and the hurt,” she saw Quinn raise her eyebrows. “And I didn’t understand it then but I knew I should wait… like you said.”

“So you didn’t do it?”

“No I did… but it wasn’t some big epic moment in my life. In fact, it was the biggest mistake I had ever made,” she saw the smile that Quinn was desperately trying- and failing- to hide and she smirked. “I um… he was feeling badly about himself so I gave him my virginity… it was stupid. I was stupid and I instantly regretted it.” She met Quinn’s eyes. “Please don’t hate me for that.”

“Hate you?” Quinn squealed. “I could never hate you Rachel… especially since I gave my virginity to a boy that wasn’t my boyfriend, and only because I was desperately trying to deny that I was gay.”

“I thought you said it was because you felt fat that day?”

“I said a lot of things that weren’t true in high school Rachel… I also said that I didn’t like you, and that I only wanted to be friends, and that I wasn’t gay,” Rachel nodded.

“So I guess we both did things we regret huh?”

“Yes… but you’re not one of them. The way I treated you was, and I am still very sorr-”

“Quinn we’re past that stuff okay,” she cut her off and Quinn nodded.

“ Okay… anyway back to your story.”

“Right… after we did it, I felt so wrong and bad about it. I told him that I wasn’t going to do it with him again until I was ready and I didn’t.”

“Which is why he proposed isn’t it?”

“It may have been a part of it… but no, he did that because he thought he was losing me and I was all he had.”

“And why’d you say yes?”

“Because I thought I had lost everything and that he was all I had,” Rachel felt Quinn wipe away a tear she didn’t even know was there; and she met those amazing hazel once more.

“Can we stop talking about him now?” Rachel nodded. “I want you so much Rachel and now that I know we’re both sort of inexperienced I’m not as worried about the awkward lesbian sex we’re about to have,” Rachel giggled.

“Don’t sell yourself short Quinn… nothing you do is awkward,” she said with a heavy breath as she felt Quinn moving closer to her. When Quinn’s lips pressed against hers she felt herself become wet.

_ From a kiss? _

_ What the fuck Rachel _ \- and then Quinn’s hands were on her ass and…

_ Yup the panties were soaked. _

“Oh fuck,” she moaned against those lips when she felt Quinn’s hands kneading her ass and she began bucking her hips into Quinn. He lips trailed down Quinn’s jaw to her neck and she bit down eliciting a moan from the girl below her.

Quinn was thrumming. Every time Rachel slammed her hips down she was hitting Quinn’s clit and she was already close to the edge. She gripped Rachel’s hips and stopped the grinding.

“B-baby… you um… you have to stop that with the hips or… I’m going to have an early arrival problem,” Rachel giggled into her neck and then met her eyes.

“But Quinn, that’s okay… the magic of being a girl is we get to have multiple orgasms and I want to give you as many as possible.”

“Fuck Rachel,” she moaned and Rachel growled.

“Damn Quinn the only thing sexier than cuss words falling from those lips is the sound of my name after them,” Quinn smiled.

“I w-want,” she tried again to stop Rachel’s bucking hips and this time Rachel stopped. “I want my first orgasm ever… well my first with someone other than myself… to be because you’re inside me and umpff-” her words were lost inside Rachel’s mouth as the girl drove her tongue inside and Quinn didn’t fight it for a second. She gripped Rachel’s waist tighter.

She nearly came again when Rachel grasped her hands and placed them over her breasts. Quinn moaned into the kiss and started to squeeze those perfect breasts. Rachel pulled out of the kiss and looked down at her.

“I want you to do what you want to me Quinn… no more holding back. Do what you’ve been dreaming about doing to me for years,” Quinn moaned and nodded. She cupped Rachel’s breasts, swiped her thumb across the hardened nipple, Rachel tossed her head back, and moaned.

“Oh god Quinn… you’re going to give me my first ever too.”

“I-I am?”

“Yes… and I want it around your fingers… or tongue so…”

“So what?” Quinn teased and Rachel looked at her.

“Do what you want to me Quinn… I’m yours,” Quinn smiled. “I’m your girlfriend… I’m in love with you… and I want you to fuck me.”

“Mm,” Quinn groaned.

“Come on baby… do what we have both been dreaming about for years now.” With that Quinn nearly ripped Rachel’s shirt off and was met with nothing but flawless tanned skin and the most beautiful breasts she had ever seen. And being a cheerleader for many years she had seen a lot of breasts.

“You’re fucking incredible Rach,” she said with a heavy breath before leaning forward and closing her mouth around one of those perfect hardened nipples. 

“Oh fuck yeah Quinn,” she threaded her fingers into Quinn’s hair and held her in place. Quinn’s hand moved up to her other nipple. She pinched it, and kneaded the breast. After a while she switched her mouth and her hand.

Rachel was in ecstasy. She had never felt anything more wonderful than Quinn’s mouth and she just wanted to feel it everywhere.

“Mm… baby… I-I want more,” Rachel said and Quinn released her nipple with a loud pop; the sound alone made Rachel flood with desire. She looked down at those kiss swollen and moist lips. “I-I want that mouth all over me Quinn,” she finished and Quinn’s panties were also flooded. Quinn nodded; Rachel hopped off of her lap and took her hand. She led Quinn into her bedroom and closed the door, and then she pushed against Quinn.

“Quinn,” she whispered and Quinn nodded. “I have always been physically attracted to boys but um…” she trailed off and could see that Quinn was getting anxious so she finished. “But I have never been as turned on by anything… ever… than I am right now… so I’m pretty sure that I’m very… very gay,” Quinn laughed. “I mean at the very least I’m Bi but yeah… never have I been this hot for someone.”

“I’m glad to hear that because you’re mine now Rachel Berry and I don’t intend on letting anyone else ever turn you on… ever again.”

“No one ever has before… that’s what I’m saying,” Quinn shot her that smug grin that Rachel was so in love with.

“Me neither… even when I was yelling at you I was so turned on,” Quinn admitted and then Rachel shoved her against the door. 

“Oh yeah… and did you want to push me against the lockers and have your way with me?”

“So many fucking times,” Quinn told her and Rachel smirked this time because she had too. She gripped the edge of Quinn’s shirt and pulled it over her head. She tossed it blindly behind her because her eyes were focused on the vision before her.

Quinn Fabray; standing before her in nothing but a pair of skinny jeans and a white lace bra. Her perfect pink, hard nipples were visible through the see through fabric and Quinn swallowed her embarrassment and let Rachel look.

“You are a fucking goddess Quinn,” she said and leant her head down. Quinn shivered when she felt Rachel’s warm, wet tongue slide across her nipple over the fabric and then she moaned when she felt her mouth close around it and suck it into her mouth.

“Oh god Rach,” she breathed out and then felt Rachel move to her other nipple. “Fuck… take the fucking bra off,” she demanded and Rachel giggled into her chest as they both reached behind her to remove it.

Quinn was tugging frantically; literally trying to tear the fucking bra off of her while Rachel’s approach was much calmer. She slid her hands over Quinn’s moving one.

“Let me,” she pleaded and felt Quinn relax. Quinn actually turned to mush and she just watched as Rachel unhooked and removed her bra with the kind of skill that Puckerman always bragged about having; but didn’t actually have.

Rachel on the other hand had many… many skills.

And Quinn couldn’t wait to discover each and every one of them. Once her bra was gone she felt that mouth on her nipple again and the groan that fell from her mouth was nothing short of animalistic.

Rachel pulled off her nipple with a pop and looked into her eyes. She circled her arms around Quinn’s back and over her ass. She cupped that perfect ass and pulled their bodies together. Both girls let out loud moans when their naked chest pressed together in the most erotic of ways. Their hardened nipples rubbed together and the feeling was indescribable.

“Rach,” Quinn pleaded.

“Hm.”

“I um… I’m all for the foreplay and discovering each other but I-I have be-been waiting for this for-fucking-ever and I feel like I’m going to bust if we don’t hurry this along a bit.”

“Are you saying you want me to fuck you?” Rachel teased and watched her blush.

“Y-Yeah that’s what I’m saying… but,” she saw Rachel’s worried chocolate eyes land on hers. “I want us to do it together.”

“Mm that is the sexiest thing I have ever heard,” she told her honestly and stepped back. Her eyes trailed from Quinn’s eyes and down her chest to her neck, over her collarbone, past those perfect breasts, and those equally beautiful abs. She tucked her finger into the waistband of Quinn’s pants and she tugged her closer. 

“I want this,” she said as her fingers worked the button of Quinn’s jeans open and then tugged the zipper open. Quinn took a deep breath as Rachel pushed her pants down past her hips and got down on her own knees as she pulled the pants the rest of the way down and off. As Quinn stepped out of her pants she knew that Rachel was staring at her center. She could feel it as Rachel stared at her white lace panties which she knew were soaked. She began to feel self-conscious.

“Rach,” she whined. 

“Quinn,” Rachel all but growled. “This is all for me?” Rachel heard Quinn’s sharp intake of breath when she put her hands on her hips and pulled her closer. “Is it? Are you all wet for me Quinn?”

“Always,” Quinn admitted and then nearly lost her shit when she felt Rachel’s tongue licking at her panties. “Oh my fucking god,” she moaned and fought the urge to hump Rachel’s face. 

After one taste Rachel was like a woman possessed. She nearly ripped Quinn’s panties off and pressed her tongue against that beautiful clit.

“Ohhh Rachhh,” Quinn moaned loudly and threaded her fingers through Rachel’s hair. Rachel felt a smug thrill at the sound of her name coming out of Quinn’s mouth in a moment like this.

“I want more Quinn… will you let me lick you baby?” She asked as she looked up into that beautiful face.

“Yes… a thousand times yes Rachel,” Rachel got to her feet and pulled Quinn toward the bed. She was about to push Quinn down on the bed. “B-But I-”

“But what?”

“But I want,” she trailed her hand down Rachel’s abs to her jeans. “I want these off first.” Rachel smirked as Quinn worked her pants down. Unlike Rachel she didn’t get on her knees, instead she pushed the pants down to her ankles and while Rachel was stepping out of them she pushed her hand into Rachel’s panties.

Both girls moaned as Quinn’s fingers slid through all of the wetness Rachel had for her.

“You are so wet babe,” she said, impressed.

“I told you that you turn me on Quinn,” she said with a shaky breath as Quinn’s fingers slid through her slit and then up over her clit. She shuddered at that and Quinn smirked.

“Do you have any idea how long I have wanted to have my hand in your panties?” Rachel bit her lip at the sheer sexiness of that question. “Do you know how many times I fantasized about this very moment? How many times I fucked myself thinking about you and licked my fingers clean afterward pretending it was you?”

“Fuck Quinn.”

“And now I’m doing it,” with that she pulled her hand out of Rachel’s panties with a snap; she quickly put those two fingers into her mouth, and closed it around them. She moaned as she licked all of Rachel’s desire off of her fingers.

“Mm,” she hummed, licking her fingers clean. She pulled her fingers out and looked at Rachel’s darkened eyes. “You taste so fucking good.”

“Quinn,” she said with a heavy breath and then cupped the back of her head and pulled her into a heated kiss. She could taste herself on Quinn’s tongue and it was so fucking hot. “I-I need you to fuck me,” she looked deep into those hazel eyes again. “Right now,” Quinn nodded her agreement and fingered the waistband of Rachel’s panties again. They were both trying to tug them off and heard a rip. Rachel giggled while Quinn pulled the torn panties the rest of the way off.

“Same time?” Rachel asked and Quinn nodded. She lay on the bed and pulled Quinn on top of her. Their legs tangled, their hips met, their clits pressed together causing them both to moan, and their breasts pressed together.

Neither girl spoke it.

But they both thought it.

They fit together so perfectly like… like different pieces of the same puzzle. Quinn looked deep into Rachel’s eyes.

“I’m in love with you Rachel.”

“I’m in love with you too Quinn,” and then Quinn kissed her. She pulled her body back just enough for her to press her fingers against Rachel’s clit and she felt the girl open her legs for her.

“No regrets?” She asked and Rachel shook her head. 

“None… I have never been more sure about anything,” Rachel admitted and snaked her own hand in between their bodies. She circled her fingers around Quinn’s soaked opening and pressed the tips inside. Quinn’s head fell back at the sensation before she composed herself and pressed her fingertips into Rachel’s equally soaked hole.

“You are a dream come true for me,” Quinn said and saw that there were tears in the corners of Rachel’s eyes. “Oh don’t cry… I-I mean it’s-” she stopped taking when she felt Rachel’s free hand on her head.

“They’re happy tears because you are a dream come true for me too, Quinn… a dream I didn’t even know was something I could have. I love you so much baby… please make love to me,” Quinn nodded and pushed two fingers in slowly. “Ohhhh,” Rachel moaned and then remembered to push into Quinn as well.

“Oh god yes Rachel,” she breathed. As a steady rhythm built up they both realized something.

And what they realized was that though neither of them were virgins, this was the first time they had both been completely ready for it… and completely in love.

_ It was love making. _

_ And it was perfect. _

They were in sync, they were both pumping faster, harder, and deeper… and as they did they fell even more in love.

“Oh fuck Quinn… I’m- I’m, oh fuck I’m coming.”

“Me… me too Rach… I-I oh fucking hell I love you,” she said. “I’m... Ohhhhh,” as Quinn tumbled over the edge of reason Rachel wasn’t too far behind.

“Yeah baby oh… oh … oh QUINN!!!!” She screamed as she came. They held each other as they both came down from the most amazing feeling either girl had ever felt. And after shuddering through two aftershocks Quinn pulled her fingers out of Rachel and brought them to her mouth. Rachel watched again as Quinn licked her desire from her fingers and it turned her on all over again.

“Oh Quinn, do it… please do it,” she pulled her fingers out of Quinn and licked her own fingers clean. Quinn groaned as she watched and then remembered that Rachel had a request.

“Do what babe?”

“Please… please,” she begged.

“Please what?”

“Quinn,” she whined.

“Say it Rachel… I want to hear the words,” she arched her eyebrow in challenge and Rachel always loved that fucking eyebrow. She pushed any embarrassment aside in favor of getting what she wanted and what she wanted was that tongue inside of her.

“Please… eat me out Quinn,” she begged and Quinn growled before lowering her body down to Rachel’s hot center.

“You have no idea how long I have wanted to do this,” Quinn told her and Rachel met her eyes.

“How long?”

“Since that fucking day… that you wore that Britney Spears outfit,” she saw Rachel smirk. “I-I mean, I guess I always have on some level… but that day I literally fantasized about ripping your panties off and eating you against the piano.”

“Fuck Quinn,” Rachel threaded her fingers through her hair and pushed her closer. “You should have… I would’ve let you,” Rachel saw the eyebrow arch again and she giggled.

“Really?” She saw Rachel nod and her resolve broke. She needed to have her tongue buried inside this girl once and for all. Her eyes peered over that glistening, swollen, and completely drenched sight before her and she lowered her head. She licked a line through Rachel’s slit and the noise that Rachel made was enough to want her to do this every hour, of every day for the rest of her life. She sucked on those lips and then she moved up to her clit.

“Oh shit Quinn,” Rachel hummed and bucked her hips. She had never felt anything so wonderful and she never wanted it to end… but at the same time she wanted to come so hard. She felt Quinn’s hand on her pelvis to stop her bucking, and then she felt Quinn’s mouth leave her. She was about to whine in protest when she felt that tongue drive deep into her hole and she felt the pull in her stomach. Once Quinn’s fingers started to rub her clit she was gone.

“Oh god yeah Quinn…. Fuck I’m coming!” She yelled; Quinn tasted Rachel’s come in her mouth, and she licked it all up. She knew in this moment that she would love Rachel forever. 

After coaxing her through another orgasm and then cleaning that up too, she pulled her mouth away, and collapsed on the bed beside her heaving girlfriend.

_ Girlfriend _ \- she thought with a lazy smile.

Everything really has changed.

And then she felt Rachel on her and Rachel spreading her legs. She looked down and saw Rachel looking up at her from between her legs.

“Let me tell you about the first time I thought about eating you out Quinn,” she husked and Quinn moaned at the words. “It was that day in the hallway when you were screaming at me about staying away from Finn,” Quinn thought back to the day.

_ That was sophomore year. _

“That was sophomore year Rachel,” she said surprised and Rachel nodded with a wicked grin across her mouth. “But i-if you knew that long why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I thought you hated me Quinn… I didn’t want to risk my life by telling you… or worse by dropping to my knees, ripping your spanks off and driving my tongue deep inside you.” Quinn moaned loudly.

“Oh god, Rachel when you talk like that, it makes me want to…” she trailed off.

“What does it make you want to do Quinn?”

“It makes me want to tell you to do it.”

“So tell me,” Rachel challenged. Quinn Fabray never backed down from a challenge; and Rachel knew that.

“Do it baby… shove your tongue deep inside me,” Rachel nodded and did as she was told. She moaned when she felt Quinn’s nails digging into her scalp and she lapped at the wetness her tongue had created. Then she moved to Quinn’s clit and sucked that into her mouth.

“Oh god… oh god… oh god I fucking love you Rachel Berry.”

“I love you too,” she said before reattaching her lips to Quinn’s clit. She pushed two fingers deep into Quinn without warning and gently bit down on her clit and that was enough to shove Quinn over the edge.

Stars and rainbows exploded behind her eyes. She shuddered when she felt Rachel’s fingers leave her, and when she felt Rachel’s tongue leave her. And when she felt Rachel licking up her come she came again. 

And Rachel cleaned that too.

After catching their breath; Rachel moved up the bed and collapsed beside Quinn. When they started to get cold she pulled a blanket up around them.

“That was incredible,” Quinn whispered and Rachel nodded.

“It was perfect Quinn… you’re perfect.”

“You’re the perfect one Rachel.”

Their eyes locked and both girls knew that everything changed between them. 

For the better.

Forever.

Rachel’s eyes looked like coming home.

And Quinn’s eyes looked like coming home.

***

_ “And your eyes look like coming home.” _

_ \--Taylor Swift; Everything Has Changed _


	6. I Knew You Were Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be the first of the time jumps mentioned earlier. Quinn and Rachel are still involved in a long distance relationship as they are in the beginning of their second year of college.
> 
> Warning: Mild Sexiness  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Taylor Swift, or any of her songs.

**Chapter 6: I Knew You Were Trouble**

***

Rachel dropped her head back against the pillows with a satisfied sigh; and she wiped her arm across her sweaty brow.

“Wow,” was all she could say as Quinn moved from where she had been between her legs and wiped her mouth as she did.

“Yeah wow,” Quinn said happily as she fell to the bed next to Rachel.

It had been a year.

And there isn’t a better way to spend their one year anniversary than in bed doing what they have been doing for the past ten months… loving each other.

But then again they had been doing that for much longer than a year.

It seemed like forever.

Both girls jumped when there was a loud banging on Rachel’s bedroom door.

“What the-” Quinn began but was interrupted by the voice of one of Rachel’s roommates. 

“Berry! Open the door,” Santana pleaded.

“Why?”

“Because I want to see your naked ass,” she said and both Rachel and Quinn curled their lip at the thought. “Why the fuck do you think?” Santana continued and when there was still no response Santana rolled her eyes. “I need my fucking clothes… fuck!”

With that Rachel got out of bed, and put on her robe while Quinn just pulled the blankets up to cover herself.

Since Santana moved in; she was sleeping on the sofa but her clothes were kept in Rachel’s room; as Rachel was the only one with a real bedroom and a real closet. Kurt’s room didn’t have a door like Rachel’s did and he used a curtain for privacy; and Santana didn’t get any privacy.

But the rent was cheap with the three of them splitting it; and Santana knew she couldn’t afford any place in the city on her own… so she dealt with it.

When the door opened; Santana looked at Rachel in her pink fluffy robe with a smirk on her face and then she glanced over at her naked- but covered- friend on the bed and she curled her lip at the sight of the both of them.

“Gross.”

“You’ve been saying that for a year Santana, get over it… Rachel and I are hot.”

“Well Rachel is,” Santana quipped. She saw Rachel’s smile widen and Quinn’s bitch face come out and that made the comment worth what she was about to hear from Rachel.

“Thanks Santana,” she said sweetly. 

“Relax Rachel… I was just trying to piss off your girlfriend,” she then pushed her way inside and Rachel went back to her bed and joined Quinn as they watched Santana rifle through her things.

Both girls covered their eyes as Santana stripped out of her pajamas and put on the outfit she had chosen right there in front of them.

“Clearly your years of being a cheerleader have made you confident,” Quinn said from behind her hand.

“Oh please Q,” Santana told her as she caught sight of both girls with the hands blocking the view. “I’m hot as hell, and you two should be grateful to look at something other, and might I add, hotter than what you’ve each been looking at for the last year.”

“Hey,” Rachel said as she dropped her hand and was grateful that Santana was fully clothed. “Quinn is way hotter than you.”

“Thanks babe,” Quinn also dropped her hand while Santana merely rolled her eyes. “You’re hotter than Santana is too,” and with that Santana huffed and both girls looked up at her.

“Gross,” she repeated before leaving the room and failing to close the door behind her. Rachel looked at Quinn and the desire in her eyes had Quinn instantly turned on.

“What?”

“Where were we before hurricane Santana blew through here?” She all but purred and Quinn couldn’t help smile.

“But the door is open.”

“So,” Rachel winked. “It’ll be fun.”

“But Santana is still here… and Kurt-”

“Santana is about to leave,” Rachel said before leaning down and pressing a kiss to Quinn’s bare shoulder. “And Kurt isn’t due back for hours,” she pressed another kiss to her cheek this time and Quinn melted. She leaned back and Rachel was about to straddle her when they heard a knock at the front door, and a second later the sound of Santana’s raucous laughter. 

“Berry,” Santana called between her giggles. “There is a 6 foot tall, frankenteen at the door for you,” Rachel looked at Quinn.

“Finn,” Quinn said with shock in her tone and on her expression. “Why is he here?”

“I-I-I don’t know,” she stammered.

“Sup Hudson,” they heard Santana say. “I’m going out but Rachel is in her room… feel free to go right on in,” and then they heard the front door slam.

“Uhhh… Rach?” They heard Finn’s voice and Quinn could feel that something bad was about to happen. “Uhh… Santana said you were here… Are you here?”

“Y-Yeah… um give me a minute,” Rachel called out to him.

“Okay,” he agreed.

“What are you doing?” Quinn whisper yelled.

“What am I supposed to do, wait until he walks in here?” She asked, wanting to suddenly kill Santana.

“Uh yeah sure… why not?” Quinn was pissed now as she got out of bed and reached for her clothes. We’ve been dating for a year Rachel… were you never going to tell him?”

“I-I was… of course I was,” she pleaded with her now fully clothed girlfriend. Quinn’s arms were crossed over her chest and she was clearly very angry. “I just,” she trailed off. “Let me just get rid of him and then we can talk okay?”

“Yeah… okay,” Quinn agreed. As soon as the words left Quinn’s mouth Rachel pulled off her robe and got dressed. She kissed Quinn before she left the room, closing the door a little bit as she left.

She didn’t want Quinn to think she was trying to hide something, but she didn’t want Finn to find out about her and Quinn by walking in on it; or it walking out on him- so to speak.

She was torn and she wanted to do everything in her power to make sure that she never saw that look on Quinn’s face again. She wanted to reassure her that she hadn’t told Finn yet mostly because she barely even thinks about him. She wanted to reassure Quinn that on that Wednesday in the café, she found what she had always been looking for. She wanted to make the love of her life feel better.

But she needed to get rid of Finn first.

And Quinn watched her go. She wanted to tell her to stop, she knew that things were about to change between them and she thought she was about to lose the love of her life.

She never thought Finn Hudson would be someone that she’d have to deal with ever again. Not since the previous summer when they went home to Lima.

She had hoped Rachel would’ve told him then but she didn’t. At the time Quinn chalked it up to Rachel not wanting to hurt him; but now it felt like something very different.

It felt like Rachel was hiding.

*

When Rachel walked into the living room part of the loft she saw Finn. He was standing near the door with his hands stuffed into his pockets and he was looking at the floor. A small smile crossed her lips at the sight of him. 

Not because she was happy to see him.

And not because she missed him.

In fact, it was the opposite… after a year of not seeing him- with the exception of Mr. Schuester’s failed wedding a few weeks after she and Quinn made it official- she realized that she hadn’t missed him at all.

Maybe it was because she was so blissfully happy with Quinn.

Maybe it was because he had always been wrong for her. And maybe deep down she knew that all along.

But as she looked at him now, she smiled.

Of course when he looked up and saw her looking at him, he misconstrued the smile.

His heart filled with hope that maybe she still wanted him as much as he still wanted her.

“You’ve always had the prettiest smile,” he said wearing his lazy grin and high school Rachel would’ve swooned over those words. But high school Finn never would have said them. 

Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago. 

“Thank you Finn,” she said warmly. 

_ You found me _ \- she thought. She had hoped he would realize what she realized and just move on; so that she’d never have to have this conversation.  _ He had always been long gone when he was next to me, and when I fell hard, he took a step back. He always took a step back. Now that I am happier than I have ever been, and don’t want him… here he is again. _

Inside Rachel’s room; Quinn was listening at the door. And what she heard made her heart drop, and she suddenly felt like she was going to be sick. Her ex-boyfriend, and her current girlfriend, his former girlfriend… were flirting.

And Rachel knew she was there… she knew she could hear. To Quinn, this meeting between them and the pleasantries they were exchanging out in that room was the beginning of the end of the only happiness she had ever known. 

Finn had always been Rachel’s first choice.

“What are you doing here Finn?” She asked as she stepped closer.

“W-Well I was working in Burt’s shop and  _ Jessie’s Girl _ came on the radio,” Rachel smiled at the memory. That was the first time Finn fought for her; and at the time it was the most romantic thing that had ever happened to her. But looking back now, she realized how naïve she actually was back then. And how Finn only ever fought for her and wanted her was when she was dating someone else, or crushing on someone else. 

She was lost in thought about Finn when he spoke again.

“And it reminded me how good we were together,” Rachel curled her lip and inside Rachel’s room Quinn scoffed. “A-And I just want you back.”

“Finn that’s not-” Rachel began but then she thought about Quinn in the room and how this must be hurting her. She needed to get him out of her apartment so that she could tell him the truth without making Quinn listen to anymore of Finn’s talk about how _ great _ they were together; she shook her head at the thought.

She also wanted to hurt Finn as little as possible too. He was her first love and was once very important to her. 

It was one thing to tell him that they’d never, ever get back together and another to actually tell him while her girlfriend was in her room hearing it all.

Her intentions were pure.

Her actions, however, were misconstrued.

“Finn, c-can we talk about this somewhere else?”

“Why?” He asked curiously and then he looked her up and down. Her hair was messed, her shirt was inside out. “Oh- Oh god… you have another guy here, don’t you?”

“No,” she answered honestly. 

It certainly wasn’t a guy.

“Y-Yes you do… who is it? Is it Brody?” He shouted.

“Finn,” Rachel said calmly, trying to quell his anger. “It’s none of your business… it’s-”

“Who is it?”

“It’s no one,” she said quickly. “No one is here,” she lied this time. 

And Finn smiled.

She knew it was bad; she just hoped that Quinn understood that she was just trying to calm him down and shut him up.

But Quinn didn’t understand; she felt like she just got kicked in the stomach. She didn’t understand why Rachel didn’t just tell him the truth.

_ Was she ashamed? _

Before she could dwell on Rachel’s motive her anger took over. She quickly turned away from the door and got dressed.

“It’s just a bad time,” Rachel continued to talk to Finn not knowing that in her room Quinn was giving up on her. “Listen, why don’t you go down to the Starbucks on the corner and I’ll meet you there soon.”

“Okay,” he agreed with his dopey, boyish grin spreading across his mouth. Rachel led him to the door. “See you soon,” he said before walking out of the loft. It was as if she had just made all of his dreams come true. 

While simultaneously Quinn’s crashed and burned.

As soon as the door closed, she turned toward her room; she needed to explain why she lied and why she was meeting him. But when she turned, Quinn was standing there; she was no longer in her robe, she was now fully dressed, and her arms were crossed defensively over her chest. 

A single tear was gliding down her cheek.

_ She was so beautiful. _

“Why’d you lie?”

“B-Because I… I didn’t want to hurt-”

“Him?” Quinn said the word as if it tasted bad in her mouth; her anger was now boiling at the surface. “You didn’t want to hurt him?”

“Well I was going to say you but-”

“Me? How the fuck would you admitting we’re together, to your ex-boyfriend… who apparently wants you back, how exactly would that hurt me?”

“No that was… he was,” Rachel was stammering. She knew what she wanted to say and why she did what she did but the look on Quinn’ s face and the hurt in her eyes and voice was breaking her heart. She couldn’t think straight. “Admit it Rachel… admit it, you didn’t want to hurt him.”

“I didn’t want to hurt him,” she admitted and she saw another tear fall from Quinn’s face as her hardened exterior began to crumble. “But I mostly didn’t want what he was saying to hurt you.”

“Don’t you see Rachel… I don’t care about his words, I never did. But your words… your  _ lie _ ,” she whispered the word as if it hurt. “Yeah that fucking hurt,” she tried to step around Rachel but the girl reached for her. Quinn pushed her hand off and stepped away. Before she got to the door she stopped, wheeled around, and met Rachel’s eyes.

“What do you want Rachel? Because if it’s me… it can’t be him?”

“It’s you, I promise… but,” she paused and in that moment Quinn lost all hope of happily ever after with this girl.

“I’m leaving.”

“Quinn… wait,” Rachel followed her.

“Look Rachel,” they were now in the hall. “I get it… you were with Finn for a long time but I can’t stand here, waiting and watching while you figure out what comes after that but you just left me hanging on. I can’t watch while you figure out what he means to you, and I certainly won’t stand around waiting and watch you pick him… again.”

“I don’t want him.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Rachel said without hesitation and Quinn smiled. She couldn’t let herself get those hopes up again. So again, she hardened her heart.

“But?” Quinn asked with a bite in her tone and this time Rachel’s eyes filled with tears, and she had no words to explain what she was actually feeling and Quinn got the wrong idea. “That’s what I thought.” With that she stepped forward, and kissed Rachel’s forehead; Rachel leaned into her touch but as quickly as she was there, she was gone.

Rachel looked up to see a hurt and broken Quinn standing before her. And she hadn’t seen that look since the day she almost married Finn; and she didn’t know what it meant then… but she does now. And it hurt like hell that she was the one making Quinn feel this way.

“I love you Rachel,” she said with her voice cracking as she held back the tears. “But you need to figure out why you want me but,” she paused and sucked in a breath to steady herself. “But Finn...” and then she was gone.

And Rachel fell to the cold hard ground.

Tears engulfing her.

***

After crying for several minutes Rachel pulled herself together. There was no way in hell she was going to lose her girl because she felt bad for her former boyfriend; who never thought much of her anyway. She needed to fix this, she needed to win her girl back… but first she needed to set Finn straight.

Hopefully a text would help for now.

She pulled out her phone and sent a text to Quinn; she hit send and grabbed her keys before she left the loft. She was about to let Finn know everything Quinn needed her to tell him; everything she should’ve already told him. 

She was a little sad that she was about to hurt the boy she once loved but she needed him to know the truth once and for all.

*

Quinn was in a taxi heading toward the train station when she heard her phone beeping. She pulled it out of her bag to see that she had gotten a text from Rachel. She took a deep breath and bit her lip as she opened and read the text.

From Rachel:  _ But… I want Finn to know without a doubt who my heart belongs to. After we broke up we never talked about it and I need to talk to him so that he knows that you Quinn Fabray are all I have ever wanted and never thought I could have. _

A warmth spread throughout Quinn and she smiled. 

And then she felt bad for doubting Rachel. They had been together for a year and Rachel had been the most loyal person in her life- hell she’d been that even before they were dating.

And in a moment of insecurity she doubted her.

Finn Hudson had always been a point of contention for both her and Rachel but she knew she had no real reason to doubt Rachel.

And she was going to fix this.

“Driver,” she called with an elated grin. “I changed my mind, please take me back.” The driver didn’t say a word he just took the next turn and drove Quinn back to Rachel's apartment building.

***

Rachel stepped into the Starbucks and saw Finn sitting at a table with a coffee in front of him and another in front of the empty seat.

“Hey,” she said softly as she pulled out the chair and sat down. 

“Hey,” he repeated with a wide grin. “I ordered you your favorite.”

“Thanks,” she took a sip and knew she couldn’t put this off anymore. She also knew she couldn’t ease her way into this. “Look Finn,” she began and then took a deep breath before continuing. “We can’t be together.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re terrible together.”

“We were great together,” he countered.

“No we weren’t… we were toxic and,” she took another deep breath. “And it took me finding someone else and experiencing a happy and healthy relationship for me to understand that.”

“Wait,” he said and she could tell that he was processing what she had just said. “So you do have a boyfriend?”

“No,” she answered and he became even more confused. “I-I have a  _ girlfriend _ ,” again she waited as he was quiet for a few moments. 

“B-B-But you’re not gay!”

“I’ve never said that.”

“But you have only dated guys.”

“Yeah… and now I’m dating a girl.”

“Who is it?” His anger was back again. “Is it someone I know?”

“Yes,” she answered honestly while also holding back a smile. 

“I knew it!” He shouted. “I’m going to kick Santana’s ass.”

“Ew,” Rachel said with a disgusted look on her face. “But even if it were Santana you would most certainly not be kicking her ass.”

“But you’re mine Rachel.”

“No I’m not… and I haven’t been in a long time.”

“But-”

“I’m Quinn’s,” she finished and watched as her words sunk in; and his mouth dropped open.

“Quinn?” He was completely shocked. “But… Quinn isn’t gay!”

“Um… actually-”

“Are you messing with me Rach?”

“I assure you Finn… I am not messing with you. We’ve been dating for a little less than a year now, and-”

“Am I supposed to believe this?”

“It’s the truth,” and with that the door opened and Quinn walked inside. Rachel didn’t see her because her back was to the door; but Finn did. And in that moment he knew Rachel was telling the truth. 

And that he had lost her.

But there was no way he was going to lose her to a girl… to Quinn fucking Fabray.

Not without a fight.

Rachel saw Finn looking behind her with his stupid grin on his face; and as she was turning to see what he was staring at Finn grabbed her face and kissed her.

Standing at the door, Quinn felt her world crashing around her all over again; and she turned to leave.

Rachel pushed Finn off of her and looked back just in time to see Quinn’s blonde hair and her flowing dress as she left the coffee shop.

Rachel turned back to Finn and saw him smiling.

And she never wanted to hit anyone in her life more than she did right now.

“Rach, I-” but the rest of his sentence was cut off by a bruising slap to his face; Rachel got to her feet shaking her hand.

“I love Quinn… I knew you were trouble when you walked back into my life… and you are no longer even a friend of mine,” she stormed off. She was barely out the door when she felt Finn tugging on her arm.

“Rach, I-I didn’t-” but again he was met with another slap across his face.

“Don’t touch me,” she shouted and shrugged him off of her. She ran away from him and saw Quinn getting into a taxi. She called out to her but it was too late and the taxi was driving away.

She quickly hailed another taxi and got in. Once she was inside she told the driver to take her to grand Central Station. She knew where Quinn was going and she just hoped she could get to her in time. 

***

Rachel rushed through the crowd of people as she made her way to the Metro North- New Haven track. The next train was arriving within the next few minutes and she needed to beat it. Once she got to the track she spotted Quinn; and rushed over to her.

“He kissed me,” she said with a heavy breath because she had just run across Grand Central Station. Quinn turned to face her; Rachel could see the puffy, red eyes and dried tears and it broke her heart. 

“Yeah… I saw,” Quinn’s head bitch attitude was back.

“I-I meant. I didn’t kiss him back,” she saw Quinn roll her eyes; she knew her defenses were up and there was no way she was going to convince her that for her part… she was innocent.

But she tried anyway.

“Did you see me slap him?”

“No.”

“Don’t you see, it was him being sneaky because I had just told him about us… and you and-”

“Rachel… I just need some time,” she said honestly and Rachel nodded. _ What else could she do? _

“Okay.”

“And maybe you do too.”

“I don’t… I’m done with Finn, and I told him everything.” Quinn’s train whistle blew as it pulled into the station.

“I-I can’t get my heart broken again.”

“I won’t break it again… I promise,” Rachel said and she saw a hint of a smile behind Quinn’s masked exterior. 

“Go to him.”

“Ew… no,” Rachel blurted out and this time she saw Quinn’s real smile.

“Rachel you need closure and you and I as a couple need Finn gone for good… forever,” Rachel nodded again. “Search your heart and find how you really feel about him, and if you’re really over him, go to him and tell him, make him believe it and then come back to me.”

“Okay… but you need to know that I am doing this for you,” Rachel agreed and Quinn nodded. “I love you Quinn.”

“I love you too,” she leaned over and kissed Rachel’s forehead before pressing their foreheads together for a moment. “I-I gotta go.”

“Okay,” Rachel said and the look she saw in Quinn’s eyes told her that the girl was giving up. “I’m coming back to you Quinn,” she called as the girl stepped onto the train but Quinn looked back. “I’m yours.”

“I certainly hope so.”

“I promise,” Rachel whispered to the now moving train.

In Quinn’s seat, as Rachel’s figure faded into the distance… Quinn cried.

She hoped that spending one glorious year with the love of her love wouldn’t be all that she would get.

***

_ “You never loved me, or her, or anyone… or anything.” _

_ \--Taylor Swift; I Knew You Were Trouble _


	7. Sad Beautiful Tragic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Taylor Swift, or any of her songs.

**Chapter 7: Sad Beautiful Tragic**

***

Quinn was curled up in her bed with her arms wrapped around a book, and her knees drawn up to her chest. She had just gotten home from leaving Rachel behind at the train station and she was trying to figure out what she had been thinking by leaving.

_ Finn comes back so you just give up?  _ \- she thought to herself.

She reached over to her jacket that was at the foot of her bed and pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper out the pocket. She opened and smoothed out the paper and her eyes took in the long, handwritten note that she had written to Rachel on the train back to New Haven.

In it she wrote about all of her feelings for the girl, how long she had felt them, and how much she still wanted her… and how she always would. It also spoke of Finn, and how even though she had a long history with him, she still hoped Rachel would choose her.

She rolled her eyes at the words she wrote, at how pathetic they were. She crumpled up the paper once more and tossed it across the room; completely missing the trash bin.

_ Words _ \- she thought.  _ How little they mean when they’re a little too late. _

It was much easier to get over Rachel when she never knew what it felt like to have her… and to be loved by her. She was about to lose it again with the tears which is the same way she spent the entire train ride home… crying; when her roommate Brooke bounced into the room smiling from ear to ear.

“Hey roomie,” she greeted before taking in Quinn’s expression, her tears, and her obvious heartbreak. “Oh… Oh gosh, what happened?” She asked sweetly as she sat down on the edge of Quinn’s bed and patted her leg gently. Quinn shook her head and wiped her face, trying to regain her composure.

“It’s nothing.”

“C’mon Quinn,” Brooke whispered. “We know each other better than that. You can tell me anything,” Quinn shook her head again and this time the tears engulfed her; as she sat up and then collapsed into Brooke’s open arms. 

Brooke knew she wasn’t going to get any answers out of her friend until Quinn got past the denial that she was even in pain; also she knew Quinn needed to get this much needed crying out of her system. So Brooke closed her arms around Quinn’s back and held her tight; while Quinn’s heart broke once more over Rachel Berry.

Because of Finn fucking Hudson.

***

Rachel was sitting on the couch in her apartment; she had gotten back home a few hours ago after watching Quinn get on that train… and leave her.

She stood by the tracks, Quinn’s face in the window.

_ We had a beautiful, magic love. _

She pulled the blanket that was draped over the back of the couch onto herself and up to her neck as she was fighting off the tears that were threatening to come out. She had been literally blindsided by what had happened between herself and Quinn; and the breakdown of communication. One moment they were celebrating their anniversary and the next Finn was there; and Quinn was telling her that she needed to search her heart to see if Finn was still in it.

He wasn’t.

Not in the way Quinn meant it anyway; she knew that Finn would always be a part of her and on some level she would always care about him. But that in no way meant that she wanted him to be a part of her future.

She shuddered at the thought.

“Ugh!” She said out loud but to herself.

But Quinn… Quinn was the only future she wanted, or needed. She just wished she knew how to prove that to her.

_ In dreams, they meet in warm conversations but in reality Quinn needed her to do this. _

Which was the only reason she was.

How was she supposed to make sure Finn wasn’t her heart’s desire when ever since she found Quinn there were no other thoughts or feelings about anyone else?

When Quinn was her only heart’s desire.

She was lost in her thoughts and battling tears when Santana’s voice broke her out of it.

“Seriously Rachel?” She shouted. “FINN! Finncompetent, when you have Quinn fucking Fabray… do you need your head examined?” 

“Oh fuck off Santana,” Rachel shouted back. She pulled the blanket off of herself, and got to her feet. “You don’t know anything about it so why don’t just back off.” She tried to storm off but Santana stepped into her path.

“Look, I may not know everything but I know that Quinn is broken, and I know it’s your fault… and I know it’s because of Finn because well…” she threw her hands into the air. “Isn’t it always about Finn!?” Rachel just rolled her eyes and tried to step around her. She didn’t have to explain herself to Santana Lopez, she didn’t know anything.

But Santana stepped into her path again, crossed her arms over her chest, and smirked. “She has been hurt enough Rachel… and I encouraged her to tell you the truth about her feelings for you because I thought that out of anyone I fucking knew  _ you  _ would be the one to keep her heart safe, and cherish it.”

“I have… I do cherish it, and I would never hurt her,” Rachel said honestly. Her voice had softened because she knew Santana was just protecting Quinn; and she couldn’t fault her for that. But Santana merely scoffed.

“Then why is she hurt?”

“Because Finn came back, because he said he wants me back; and also because… he kissed me-”

“He what?”

“He kissed me knowing full well that Quinn was behind me watching,” Rachel finished and she saw the anger burn in Santana’s eyes.

“That fucking piece of-”

“He wants me, and Quinn wants me to look deep into my heart to make sure I’m over him,” Rachel cut her off. “But no one… not Quinn, not Finn, and certainly not you Santana, have asked me what it is that  _ I  _ want.”

“Okay… so now I’m asking, what do you want Rachel?”

“I want Quinn,” she responded without a bit of hesitation and she couldn’t help but smile. 

“Then what’s stopping you?”

“Quinn is,” Rachel told her. “She mistook my kind nature as me still having feelings for Finn… also his cheap shot of a kiss didn’t help… but Quinn still wouldn’t listen when I said I choose her… and when I tried to tell her that ever since she told me, and I realized what my own feelings meant that it’s always only been her.”

“So make her listen.”

“I tried!” Rachel shouted as her frustration took over. “I went after her, I told her that Finn kissed me and that she ran out before she could see me slap him… I told her that it was her… only her. And she still left Santana. She told me to look deep into my heart and make sure it’s not Finn… a-and then she left,” her voice was cracking.

“And are you doing that?”

“I’m trying… but every time I look into my heart all I see is Quinn.”

“Then there is your answer,” Santana said.

“Well can you tell Quinn that, because I know, and now you know, but Quinn… she  _ needs _ for me to do this; to try… so I’m trying. But all I can think about is her, and not him.”

“Try harder,” Santana stated as she grasped her coat from where it was hanging over the back of the chair; and then she headed toward the door.

“Where are you going?”

“To New Haven,” she said before she left the apartment and before Rachel could do or say anything to stop her.

*

Rachel needed to get out of the house; she needed to get her mind off of Quinn and the nightmare her life had become because of Finn. She also needed to stop worrying about what Santana was going to say to Quinn when she got to New Haven.

So she left her apartment and headed toward NYADA; and she went to Miss July’s classroom. She was thinking that it was the after school hours and no one else would be there so she was startled when Brody walked out of the equipment room carrying a chair.

“Oh,” she was startled and covered her chest with her hand.

“Sorry Rachel,” he noticed that he had scared her. She watched as he placed the chair in the middle of the floor. “I thought I was alone.”

“Yeah me too. I’m a… I’m sorry to bother you.”

“You’re not,” he told her with a smile. “You obviously came here to clear your mind, or think… so which is it?”

“Clear my mind,” she answered with a smile of her own at how he knew what she had been planning. “I just have some things to work through, but I’m having a hard time doing it.”

“Maybe I can help.”

“Thanks for the offer but I’m not sure how you could help.”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “As a third party observer with nothing to gain personally, maybe an objective opinion of what’s troubling you might be exactly what you need,” she smiled and nodded; and he returned the sentiment. “So… try me.”

“Okay,” she exhaled a heavy sigh before continuing. “Do you remember my ex-boyfriend Finn?” 

“Um yeah,” Brody recalled the memory of the only time he met the guy; the night at Callbacks where he refused to sing with his insanely hot, and insanely talented girlfriend. “He was kind of a dick.” Rachel withheld a giggle.

“Yeah I know,” she agreed knowing full well that Finn had always been kind of a dick. “And do you remember my current girlfriend Quinn?”

“Yeah, she’s smoking hot,” he smirked and Rachel rolled her eyes. “Nice work by the way… hey isn’t it weird that their names rhyme?”

“So much for the unbiased opinion.”

“I’m just teasing Rachel, you know trying to make you laugh,” he said and when she smiled and nodded he spoke again. “So please just… continue.”

“O-Okay,” she took another deep breath and in a very Rachel Berry fashion she started rambling. “Finn came back to tell me that he wants me back, and I don’t want him back,” she curled her lip as she said it. “But I also wanted to let him down gently. The problem is that Quinn was in my bedroom when he showed up and she misconstrued my actions to mean that I may not be over him.”

“But are you?”

“Yes… I can’t even begin to explain how over him I am.”

“Okay, but then what’s the issue?”

“Quinn thinks that there might still be some feelings for him and I can’t convince her otherwise,” Brody nodded and crossed his arms. She could tell that he was trying to think of an answer as to what she should do; but the silence was killing her so she started talking again. “So I tried to tell her but I think seeing him kiss me,” Brody lifted his eyebrows so Rachel quickly continued. “It was completely one-sided and also she missed me slapping the hell out of him for it.”

“Well that’s cool.”

“But I think her seeing it; I think it hurt her… I mean I know it hurt her. I would’ve been hurt if I had seen that… without even needing to know the whole story but when I tried to tell her what really happened and I tried to tell her that she is the one for me; but she had already shut down. She had already convinced herself that she was losing me to Finn. So she gave me the most impossible task,” she paused to breathe and he waited. “She wants me to look into my heart and make absolutely sure that there is nothing still there for Finn.”

“And you can’t do that?” She shook her head no. “Why not?”

“Because every time I try, my mind is consumed with thoughts of Quinn… he doesn’t even enter my mind at all.”

“Force it.”

“But that’s just it, how do I force it?”

“Think about Quinn; don’t try to fight that but then compare time with her against time with Finn.”

“I don’t know how to compare them, or if I even want to.”

“For instance, if you think of your first kiss, or a date or whatever with Quinn… also think of the same thing with Finn,” she curled her lip.

“Yeah… I definitely don’t want to do that,” she said and Brody smiled. 

“But Quinn needs you to,” he said simply and that made her mad; because he was right.

Quinn needed her to.

So she would at least try.

“It sounds awful,” she grumbled and Brody laughed again.

“I didn’t say it would be fun, but you will be doing what Quinn needs you to do… and then after it’s done you can go to her, tell her that she is the one, and neither of you will ever have any more doubts,” she nodded.

“Thanks Brody.”

“No problem,” he said sweetly.

“Now, I guess I’m going to go lock myself in my apartment and force myself to think of Finn,” she shook her head. She hated this idea, so much.

“Good luck.”

“Thanks,” she stepped closer and pulled him into a hug. “And thanks again for your help.”

“You’re welcome,” she took a few steps toward the door and then she looked back. “Hey,” he met her eyes. “It’s nice to have a friend, a single and straight guy friend,” he nodded. “To whom I feel no attraction to what-so-ever,” he pouted and she giggled.

“Thanks Rachel you do wonders for my ego.”

“You’ve seen my girlfriend right?”

“Good point,” she chuckled.

“Don’t worry though… all the other girls think you’re hot.”

“Sure but most of them think I’m also gay,” she couldn’t help but laugh at him as she left the room.

***

Quinn finished crying on Brooke’s shoulder and after Quinn had calmed down; Brooke tried to invite Quinn out to get her mind off of Rachel but Quinn refused; telling Brooke she just needed to be alone to work through this. Brooke didn’t agree with that idea but she respected Quinn’s wishes anyway.

It was a few hours later; Quinn was trying to nap but her mind wouldn’t shut up.

_ I’ve got my demons and they all look like him _ \- she thought.

Distance… timing… breaking down… fighting… silence.

She hated that she was doing this to Rachel, to herself, and to them as a couple but she needed to be sure. A loud banging on her door had her sitting up straight and looked around; wondering who it could be. Her curiosity was quelled a moment later when Santana’s loud mouth echoed throughout the hall; and into her room.

“Get off your ass Quinn and open this door!” But before Quinn could react there was more banging and more yelling. “Don’t make me break this shit down!” A second later, the door swung open and Santana pushed her way inside.

“Come on in,” Quinn said sarcastically as she closed the door. 

“What are you doing?”

“What do you mean, I’m-”

“You’re dicking Rachel around,” Santana cut her off and Quinn scoffed.

“No, I’m not… and whose side are you on anyway?”

“I’m on your side Q,” she stated matter-of-factly and Quinn smiled at her loyalty. “But this isn’t about sides. It’s about you and Rachel finally figuring out that your weird ass friendship in high school actually meant that you’re soul mates… don’t let Finn fucking Hudson ruin it again. Not when Rachel is actually  _ your  _ girlfriend this time.”

“It’s not the simple San.”

“Do you love her?”

“Yes… you know I do.”

“And does she love you?” Quinn lifted her hands in defeat. She couldn’t deny it… she knew it was true; no matter how Rachel felt about Finn she knew she was loved by her.

“Yes.”

“It sounds simple to me.”

“Yeah well, it may not seem like it but trust me Santana, there is a lot more to it than whether or not Rachel and I love each other.”

“I get that Quinn… I do,” Santana promised. “But it seems to me that you’re trying to push Rachel away… whether you realize that or not.”

“You don’t understand… it’s Finn; she always chose Finn.”

“Well Rachel is a different girl now then she used to be… she grew up,” Quinn nodded. “You did too, and so didn’t I, we all did Quinn… except for maybe Finn, he’s still the overgrown child he’s always been,” Quinn laughed at that. “Look, I understand that you’re trying to protect your heart but you should know by now that it’s the safest it has ever been in Rachel’s hands,” Quinn felt a tear slide down her cheek. “And if I can see that Quinn, you should be able to as well.”

“I do, but…” she trailed off as the tears took over; Santana stepped closer and pulled Quinn into a hug.

“I know with Finn’s enormous shadow looming overhead it’s hard to see it,” she felt Quinn nod into her shoulder. “Do what you gotta do Quinn; but trust that Rachel will make the right choice,” Quinn pulled out of the hug.

“But what if Finn is the right choice?”

“Oh c’mon, even you can hear how dumb that sounds,” Quinn couldn’t help but laugh. “C’mon let’s get out of here… it kind of stinks in here.”

“No it doesn’t,” Quinn said and Santana raised her eyebrows.

“If you say so,” she looped her arm through Quinn’s and still tried to lead her out of the room. Quinn found it easier to go with her than to argue. “I’ll buy you a coffee and maybe later you’ll be smart enough to call the midget.”

“I doubt it.”

“I figured but you need to clear your mind,” Quinn nodded because she was right. “And don’t worry you and Rachel are going to work through this.”

“I hope you're right.”

“Usually am,” Santana said confidently and led Quinn out of the room.

***

When Quinn returned several hours later- Santana not only took her out for coffee but she also took her to dinner and dancing; and it worked… Quinn was feeling better than she had in two days. She decided that she was going to call Rachel.

But as soon as she entered her room her mind was flooded with thoughts… memories. Rachel was lying to Finn in her apartment, Finn was kissing Rachel at Starbucks… then her thoughts went back even further into the past. To that day, after regionals when she flat out asked Rachel if Finn was the only one for her… and she said yes; and she was going to marry him.

There was no way she could compete with that so as a finger hovered over Rachel’s highlighted name in her phone; she shut the phone off instead.

And gave up… once again.

*

Rachel was locked in her apartment and she was going to do this because Quinn needed her to. But instead of doing what Brody had suggested she was toying with her phone and the idea that she wanted to call Quinn, she just needed to hear her voice.

But instead, she shut her phone off and tossed it away.

“I promised her I would do this,” and she intended to do just that.

***

_ “We both wake, in lonely beds; in different cities.” _

_ \--Taylor Swift; Sad, Beautiful, Tragic _


	8. Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a Rachel only chapter. Quinn will only appear in the flashbacks; conversely the next chapter with be Quinn only with Rachel featured in flashbacks.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Taylor Swift, or any of her songs.

**Chapter 8: Red**

***

Rachel was walking down the street; she was taking in the sights, sounds, and scents of the city but what she was really doing was thinking.

She was thinking about how she wound up here.

How Finn coming back into her life had put a strain on her relationship with Quinn… and she was thinking about how she was supposed to prove to Quinn that she was the one.

She had agreed to do this because for some reason Quinn needed her to; but she knew she didn’t need to search her heart to figure out what and who she wants to be with.

She already knew… she kind of always has known. 

So she thought back on her time with Quinn and her time with Finn and how they were different; which was very… and how they were similar; which was not at all. And as she thought about them both the first thought that popped into her head was when she introduced Quinn to her dads.

It was summer, they had gone home to Lima after their first year of college; and she also thought about the first time Finn met her dads… and boy were those two different days. They were two different feelings, and two very different memories.

With Finn, he was still dating Quinn at the time- while he thought she was pregnant with his child.  _ How stupid could she have been?- _ she thought as she remembered.

Loving _ him _ was like driving a fast car down a dead end street… it was stupid.

It was reckless, and eventually it was painful.

And her dads knew it, the very first time that they met Finn they warned her to be careful with her heart because he didn’t know how special it was, and he wouldn’t know how to treat it.

But with Quinn, it was different.

Like how everything so far with Quinn had been different.

Loving  _ her _ was faster than the wind, and passionate as sin.

Before the end of their first year away from home; both girls decided that they were going to come out as a couple to their families. They decided to go to Rachel’s house first because they hoped it would have been easier.

And it was definitely easy.

Rachel smiled at the memory.

**[FLASHBACK]**

_ Rachel knocked twice; it was a strange feeling to be knocking on the front door of the house that she had grown up in but she also didn’t want to just walk in and possibly scare the hell out of her dads either. _

_ Hiram and Leroy knew that Rachel was coming home for the summer, and they knew she was bringing her girlfriend to meet them. _

_ But they didn’t know when. _

_ And they certainly didn’t know who. _

_ So they were about to get two surprises and Rachel hoped they were going to be as happy and excited about the second one as she knew they would be about the first. _

_ She felt Quinn’s body tense up as she stood beside her so she reached for Quinn’s hand and Quinn responded in kind; their fingers were interlocked. _

__ _ “Relax,” she whispered. “They’re going to love you just like I love you,” Quinn smiled and Rachel continued. “Well not JUST like I love you because that would be gross,” Quinn giggled just as the door swung open and standing before them were Rachel’s grinning fathers. _

__ _ “Well if it isn’t my beautiful and happy daughter,” Hiram greeted Rachel and then his eyes moved from her to Quinn; whom Leroy was already looking at with a wide smile. _

__ _ “And a smiling Quinn Fabray,” Leroy said with a wink at Quinn. “Two things we never see enough of.” _

__ _ “Hey dad,” Rachel pulled away from Quinn’s tight hold on her fingers to hug Hiram, after hugging him she turned to Leroy. “Hi daddy,” she hugged him as well. When she tried to pull away, he held her in place.  _

__ _ “Just a little longer,” he whispered to his only child whom he missed so much. Rachel smiled into his shoulder and hugged him back. A few moments later; Leroy finally released her from her hug. _

__ _ “Come on ladies,” Hiram waved them in. Rachel looked over at her still very nervous girlfriend and placed her hand back into Quinn’s; she immediately felt the girl relax a little bit as their fingers interlocked and they followed Hiram and Leroy inside.  _

__ _ “Dad… Daddy,” Rachel said and suddenly she felt very nervous herself. She had only done this two other times; once with Jesse, and her dads had liked him. And then when they met Finn, whom they didn’t like at all; not at first anyway. They grew to like him- or at least tolerate him- for the sake of her happiness. _

_ Based on that knowledge this meeting could go either way; she swallowed hard before continuing. “You remember Quinn Fabray, right?” It was several seconds before anything was said and Quinn’s heart was beating so fast she thought they must be able to hear it; either that or she was having a heart attack. But then both Leroy and Hiram smiled. _

__ _ “Of course,” Hiram spoke first. “It’s great to see you Quinn, how are you?” _

__ _ “I’m great sir.” _

__ _ “Sir,” Leroy spoke with a chuckle and Rachel’s nervous eyes landed on him. He smiled before turning his attention to Rachel. “I already like her more than Finn.” _

__ _ “Daddy I-” _

__ _ “Seriously Quinn,” he cut Rachel off and was already looking at Quinn again. “I can tell by how you carry yourself that you’re a much better match for my baby girl.” _

__ _ “Yes sir.” _

__ _ “Now relax,” he reached up and patted her bicep. “Because you’re making me feel old,” with that Quinn giggled nervously. “I think you and I are going to get along famously.” _

__ _ “O-O-Okay,” she stammered.  _

__ _ “But,” and she gulped audibly. “If you hurt my Rachel the way Finn did, over and over again… I am not afraid to fight a girl.” _

__ _ “Y-Yes sir… I won’t. I love R-Rachel… so much,” Quinn continued to stammer. Leroy looked from Quinn and Hiram where they shared a knowing look and then he looked at Rachel. _

__ _ “Did I mention that I love your girlfriend?” Both girls smiled and Quinn finally started to relax. _

__ _ “That’s good,” Rachel told him. “I love her too.” _

**[END FLASHBACK]**

*

Rachel smiled at the memory.

Finn hadn’t done very well the first time he met them; and it was like they knew he was all wrong for her… she just wished they had told her.

But then… if memory served her right; they had told her she just wasn’t in the right mind set at the time to have listened or heard their opinions of him; and they knew that.

Loving  _ him _ was like trying to change your mind once you’re already flying through a free fall… it was pointless.

But losing _ him _ was blue like she’d never known.

But missing  _ her _ was dark grey, all alone.

Forgetting  _ him _ was like trying to know somebody you’ve never met… it was hard.

But loving  _ her _ … loving her was red. 

Burning red.

Passionate, loving… perfect.

***

Rachel was now at Washington Square Park; she had gotten some food and was now sitting alone at a café table in the park.

Quinn had told her that she thought Rachel needed closure with Finn before they could move on and she was trying to give her that. She knew finally closing the book on Finn- for good- was definitely what they needed.

As she sat there and ate her lunch she couldn’t help but compare the two. These were the two longest- and only real- relationships she had ever had; with the two people have always meant the most to her.

And as she reminisced she thought about the first time she had kissed each of them. With Finn, it happened back in sophomore year in the auditorium. She was embarrassed as she thought back to how she threw herself at the boy- who had a girlfriend- the very same girl who was now her girlfriend.

Oh, what a tangled web.

But looking back to that now very humiliating moment all she could remember was how awkward it was and how awkward they were together.

And sure at the time, she felt things but it was nothing compared to how she felt the first time her lips touched Quinn’s lips…

Touching  _ her _ was realizing all she ever wanted was right there in front of her.

Memorizing  _ her _ was as easy as knowing all the words to a song.

She thought back to their first kiss and the moment their lips touched; she knew she’d never be the same. 

And the first time that she and Quinn almost went all the way, and then two months later when they did go all the way. And the sexiest Skype call that happened in between.

She recalled all the sights and sounds… and her smiled widened.

Quinn was her choice.

It really wasn’t even a choice, it was inevitability.

She didn’t need to search her heart and her mind to know that, but again Quinn wanted her to do this, so she continued.

Subsequently, she began thinking about their first fight. 

Fighting with her was realizing there is no right answer this had been their first fight… in almost a year.

Her first fight with Finn came the week after their first kiss… and what did they fight about?

_ Glee club _ \- she thought with a smile.

_ And Quinn _ … her smile widened.

***

Rachel was now in a taxi heading home. She knew who she wanted and she knew what she had to do but as the taxi passed the café… her and Quinn’s café, where she watched it begin again.

She knew she needed to be there right now.

“Stop,” she called to the driver. “C-Can you let me off right here?” The driver didn’t answer but he did pull over. Rachel paid him and got out. As she walked back to the café, ordered a coffee, and sat down- she thought about that day.

A day she often thought about.

And those thoughts led her to her first official date with Quinn Fabray the week after that day.

**[FLASHBACK]**

_ Rachel leaned against the railing of the Staten Island Ferry, and rested her arms on it as she looked out at the view of Manhattan- gosh it was beautiful- she thought. And then she started to think about Quinn and why on Earth she decided to take her to Staten Island for their first date rather than somewhere in the city. One of the most romantic cities at that. _

_ It was a few moments later that Quinn leaned against the railing beside her and handed her a bottle of water; Rachel smiled at the sight of her and stood up straight before she took the bottle and sipped from it. _

_ Quinn could tell that she had something on her mind so rather than dwelling on it and worrying herself all day about whether or not Rachel was having a good time; she just asked her. _

__ _ “What are you thinking?” _

__ _ “It was nothing,” Rachel replied but Quinn wasn’t going to let it go. _

__ _ “Come on,” she pressed. “You can tell me.” _

__ _ “Promise you won’t be mad or upset and know that I only ask out of mere curiosity and for no other reasons?” _

__ _ “I promise,” she answered honestly and know she was even more intrigued than she was before. _

__ _ “Okay,” Rachel sighed before continuing. “I was just wondering why you chose to take me to Staten Island on our first real date rather than somewhere in the city,” Rachel bit her lip with worry hoping that Quinn didn’t get upset; but when Quinn smiled her worries were set at ease. _

__ _ “Well for two reasons actually… one, I thought that taking you to a lovely restaurant and a Broadway show would be a little presumptuous for a first date. I was thinking that maybe I’ll do that for our third date,” she winked and Rachel swooned. “And you know, maybe get lucky,” she teased before turning bright red and Rachel smiled at her beautiful awkwardness. _

__ _ “Speaking of presumptuous,” Rachel said. _

__ _ “I was kidding,” Quinn reassured her. _

__ _ “Oh, I know but um…” she trailed off and stepped closer to Quinn. She put her hands on the collar of Quinn’s jacket and tugged her closer until their lips were mere inches apart. “It’s definitely not out of the question,” she licked her lips and Quinn breathed caught in her throat. _

__ _ “Oh… wow,” she exhaled loudly. “You’re hot.” _

__ _ “So… are… you,” Rachel said with a kiss to Quinn’s lips after each word. “And Quinn,” she husked and Quinn loved the sound of her name coming out of Rachel’s mouth in that way. She wanted to hear it again and again. She also felt butterflies in her stomach and her knees buckled a little bit.  _

__ _ “Y-Y… Yeah.” _

__ _ “What was the other reason?” Rachel asked with a giggle trying to keep Quinn’s mind on track as she stepped back a little bit. _

__ _ “Huh?” _

__ _ “The second reason why you’re taking me to Staten Island?” _

__ _ “Oh… yeah, right.” Quinn shook all naughty thoughts from her mind and focused on the amazing girl in front of her. _

__ _ “Because,” she smiled and leaned back against the railing again as she tried to regain some of her swag. “I wanted to take you somewhere, rustic and more like home since…” she trailed off and stared deep into those brown eyes. “Since I’ve waited forever to take you on this date, and it’s the kind of date I should’ve taken you on back in tenth grade when I first fell for you Rachel Berry.” _

__ _ “Wow,” Rachel breathed as it was now her turn to swoon and get butterflies. _

__ _ “I hope you don’t mind a date to the zoo and mini golf… followed by a nice late lunch and a sunset ride on this ferry back into the city.” _

__ _ “I don’t mind at all… in fact I have a feeling that this is going to be a perfect date… with the perfect girl.” _

__ _ “Oh this is nothing Rachel, wait until you see what I have planned for our third date,” she winked and Rachel giggled and again she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Quinn’s waist. _

__ _ “Oh I can’t wait for this date number three… and for whatever happens after said date,” she leaned up and pressed another peck to Quinn’s lips. “And for every date after that, for as long as you want me Quinn.” _

__ _ “I’ll want you forever Rachel… I’m sure of it.” _

__ _ “You say the sweetest things,” Rachel nearly purred before Quinn leaned down and kissed her. It was hot, it was passionate, and it was the kind of kiss that doesn’t usually happen on a first date. _

_ But with these two girls, it had been a long time coming. _

_ * _

_ After an amazing day; walking hand in hand through the zoo before heading to mini-golf where things got really competitive and resulted in Rachel hitting her ball into the water near hole number 4 and Quinn putting her hand into the cold pond to retrieve it. She didn’t mind especially when Rachel kissed her as a thank you and took her breath away. _

_ Quinn lost the game but it didn’t matter because she got the girl, and she was going to do everything in her power to always make Rachel smile like she had on this day. _

_ After an amazing late lunch at a vegan restaurant that Quinn found the girls found themselves back on the ferry heading back into Manhattan.  _

_ This time as Rachel leaned against the railing, Quinn was leaning behind her with her hands resting near Rachel’s and her chin resting on Rachel’s shoulder. _

__ _ “Today was amazing Quinn, it was the best first date I’ve ever had.” _

__ _ “Really?” Quinn asked surprised. _

__ _ “Yes really, it was perfect… and now getting to watch the sun setting out here on our way back into Manhattan just makes it even better.” Rachel stood up, causing Quinn to step back. Rachel turned around and pulled Quinn against her body again. “I love you Quinn,” she said and Quinn couldn’t fight the smile over hearing the words that she has always wanted to hear this girl say. “And I am already and will continue to fall completely in love with you.” _

__ _ “Lucky me,” Quinn whispered as Rachel put her arms around Quinn’s neck and pulled her impossibly closer. _

__ _ “But haven’t you been listening… I’m the lucky one,” Quinn could feel Rachel’s breath on her lips and it was driving her crazy. _

_ The best kinds of crazy. _

__ _ “I’m the one that is dating, being romanced by, and being loved so completely by Quinn Fabray,” she saw Quinn smile widened. “I’m definitely the lucky one.” _

__ _ “Well I get to show Rachel Berry how loved she always has been and always will be so let’s call it a draw,” Quinn husked. _

__ _ “Kiss me,” Rachel demanded. She couldn’t wait another second to feel those lips on her. And Quinn wasn’t going to make her wait any longer. _

_ And that was how they spent the sunset that evening; by missing it as they made out on the Staten Island Ferry… and it was perfect. _

_ When they got back to Rachel’s loft, they kissed a little more before Rachel got up and got some blankets and a pillow for Quinn. She helped Quinn make the couch into a bed for the evening and when it was done; Quinn took Rachel’s hand into her own. _

__ _ “Thank you.” _

__ _ “You’re welcome, but it was nothing… it’s just blankets.” _

__ _ “Not just for this,” she motioned to the couch. “But for today, for being with me… for calling me that Wednesday, thank you for all of it.” _

__ _ “No need to thank me Quinn, this… all of it… you,” she smiled. “It’s a dream come true,” she pressed a sweet and chaste kiss to Quinn’s lips. “Goodnight gorgeous,” she whispered. _

__ _ “Good night… sweet dreams,” Quinn said with a dopey and loving grin. She watched as Rachel turned and went into her room. Quinn shut off the light and lay down on the couch. _

_ And as both girls lay in bed tossing and turning and wishing they were with the other cuddling they both knew the other was thinking the same thing. _

_ And they both knew there wouldn’t be much sleeping. _

_ But there would be lots of dreaming. _

**[END FLASHBACK]**

*

_ Gosh Quinn was her perfect match _ \- she thought. 

And then she thought about her first date with Finn; at the bowling alley; while he was _ still _ dating Quinn. She shook her head at the memory and was once again embarrassed by her actions. 

Remembering  _ him _ comes in flashbacks and echoes, and it was extremely easy to let him go.

But her…

Moving on from  _ her _ is impossible, when it’s still in her head, and her heart… burning red.

Quinn had always, and would always be spinning in her head.

Burning red.

“Finn may have been my first love, but Quinn is real thing,” she said out loud.

“Excuse me,” a woman at the table next to her said and it snapped Rachel out of her thoughts; and she looked over at the woman.

“Quinn is true love,” Rachel answered.

“Oh… kay,” the woman shook her head as she looked at Rachel like she was crazy.

Rachel ignored the woman’s expression and got up from the table. She pulled her phone out and tapped out two text messages as she walked outside.

One was sent to Quinn, and the other was sent to Finn.

From Rachel:  _ We need to talk, please meet me at the train station. _

From Rachel:  _ I love you. _

***

_ “Wishing you never found out that love could be that strong.” _

_ \--Taylor Swift; Red _


	9. All Too Well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter much like the last one is a Quinn only chapter where Rachel only appears via flashbacks.
> 
> Warning: Mild Sexy Talk  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Taylor Swift, or any of her songs.

**Chapter 9: All Too Well**

***

Quinn was sitting on her bed in her dorm room; her roommate Brooke was out for the night with her girlfriend Kate, so Quinn was alone. It was always the hardest when she was alone… it always had been. It had been exactly two days since she left Rachel in New York and told her to search her heart and make sure Finn wasn’t still her first choice.

And as she sat with her book on her lap trying to study, and trying not to cry… her mind automatically drifted to Rachel; and what the girl was doing right now. And then she tried to shake away all of the negative thoughts that had just entered her mind. 

If she wasn’t going to be able to focus on her work she wasn’t going to let her mind go to the bad place… the Rachel and Finn place. 

No… she was going to force herself to think of the good; but the problem with that is even the good memories only serve to remind her of what she could be about to lose. 

She thought about the previous summer and meeting Hiram and Leroy Berry for the first time; and she laughed to herself about how nervous she had been.

She walked through the door with Rachel. The air was cold, but something about it felt like home somehow. Oh her sweet disposition; and her wide-eyed gaze… she was already in love with Rachel and she remembered just hoping Rachel’s dads were going to like her.

She was worried that they wouldn’t.

But of course they did.

And then naturally her thoughts moved to the first time she introduced Rachel to her mom. It was the same week; a few days after she met-and hit it off with- Rachel’s dads. 

The girls had gone to Cedar Point for the day… or at least they had intended to.

What really happened was they were having a wonderful time, singing in the car and they wound up getting lost upstate. She could still picture it.

And after spending the day in a rustic little town in upstate Ohio- never making it to the park- they drove back home; just as carefree and happy as they had been on the drive there.

And as they drove home, Quinn decided that it was time that Rachel met her mom. She remembered- all too well- the look in Rachel’s eyes and the smile on her face when she mentioned it. 

She was nervous.

But also excited.

She remembered it; they were on that little town street that Quinn lived on; Rachel almost ran the red because she was looking at her.

**[FLASHBACK]**

_ Rachel parked the car in the driveway of Quinn’s house.  _

__ _ “So how out are we coming?” Rachel wondered after a few moments of silence. _

__ _ “Huh?” _

__ _ “Does your mother know you’re gay or-” she trailed off because Quinn was nodding.  _

__ _ “Y-Yeah, I um… came out to her after my accident, I just couldn’t hold it in anymore,” Rachel’s smile widened. _

__ _ “How did she take it?” _

__ _ “S-She did better than I thought, I mean I thought she would disown me or something but all she said was that she suspected something was different with me than it was with my sister, but she never would’ve guessed that I was gay.” _

__ _ “And that was it?” _

__ _ “No, she said she needed time to get used to it but that I’d always be her daughter and there was nothing I could ever do or say that would make her do what she and my father did the last time.” _

__ _ “That’s nice.” _

__ _ “Yeah… and she has been nothing but supportive since. It has been everything,” she finished with a huge smile and Rachel loved seeing Quinn so happy. “And she said… now you can get that Rachel girl.” Rachel giggled. “She even encouraged me to ask you out but I had already given up on you… almost,” she added with a wink. _

_ “And does she know about us?” _

__ _ “Like I said, she knew about my feelings for you, she always could tell; and she knows that I have a girlfriend but no she doesn’t know that it’s you. I decided to surprise her with that part.” _

__ _ “I love you,” Rachel said and watched as Quinn’s already smiling face beamed with happiness and pride. _

__ _ “Good, because I am hopelessly devoted to you,” Quinn giggled and her words caused Rachel to laugh as well. _

__ _ “That would’ve sounded better if you had sung it to me.” _

__ _ “Play your cards right Rachel Berry, and I just might.” _

__ _ “Will you do it naked?” Rachel teased. _

__ _ “Possibly,” Quinn teased right back “Now come on perv,” she got out of the car and Rachel pushed the naughty images of naked Quinn singing a song from Grease out of her mind in favor of the far less sexy thoughts of how to impress Judy Fabray. _

_ Suddenly she was just as nervous as Quinn had been before meeting her dads as they walked up the steps of Quinn’s house. But her nerves were set at ease when the door swung open and a grinning Judy Fabray stood before her. _

__ _ “Quinnie,” she excitedly pulled Quinn into a hug before looking over at Quinn’s girlfriend. She nearly squealed with delight when she saw who it was. “Rachel Berry!” She exclaimed as she looked back and forth between the two girls. “Quinn! Your girlfriend is Rachel Berry?”  _

__ _ “Yes,” Quinn answered proudly and Rachel extended her hand to Judy with a proud smile of her own gracing her lips. _

__ _ “It’s a pleasure to formally meet you Mrs. Fabray.” _

__ _ “Oh please Rachel… call me Judy,” she told her before foregoing the handshake offer and pulling Rachel into a tight hug. _

_ Quinn’s own fears were instantly set at ease. _

_ Well those fears anyway- new fears popped up as Judy dragged Rachel into the house talking about showing Rachel pictures and telling her stories about Quinn’s childhood. _

_ Quinn cringed as her mom showed Rachel pictures and talked about when she was still Lucy. She showed Rachel pictures of when she was a little kid with glasses, and told her about when she played on the tee ball team. _

_ But Rachel just smiled and shared her own childhood memories. _

**[END FLASHBACK]**

_ She told me about her past thinking her future was me _ \- Quinn thought as the tears she had been fighting finally took over. She tried to forget about her long enough to forget why she needed to.

“I need to get out of here,” she said to herself before she gathered up her things, grabbed her favorite book, and headed to the school library.

Getting lost in a book was the best thing she could think of to do so that she would stop thinking about Rachel. 

***

She was sitting in the library reading and when she flipped the page it skipped a few pages because there was a photo tucked into the book and as soon as she saw the picture she smiled.

It was a picture of Rachel from their first date; at the mini-golf course in Staten Island. There she stood proudly smiling and posing with the golf club. She was also wearing the scarf that Quinn had started out the date wearing. And without her permission, her mind drifted to that day and she smiled.

It was a good day.

**[FLASHBACK]**

_ “Could you please get my ball Quinn,” Rachel asked with a whine and stuck her lip out in a pout. God she was adorable- she thought as she looked at the girl of her dreams. They were at the fourth hole and Rachel had hit her ball too hard and it landed in the water of the small pond that was near the hole.  _

_ And Quinn had always been helpless to that smile, and especially that pout. She exhaled loudly as she handed her club to Rachel. _

__ _ “Hold this please.” _

__ _ “My hero,” Rachel pressed her hand to her chest and Quinn rolled her eyes; before she stepped toward the water. “Wait!” Rachel called and Quinn looked back to see Rachel beckoning her over with a curl of her finger. Quinn stepped closer to her. “Let me take this,” she reached around Quinn’s neck and removed the scarf she was wearing. “It is far too nice to let it get ruined in that gross water.” _

__ _ “Mmhmm,” Quinn mumbled knowing that Rachel only took it because she liked it; and Quinn was fine with her keeping it. She watched as Rachel took the scarf and tied it around her own neck. And she had to admit… it looked better on her. _

_ Once Rachel had the scarf on she looked back at Quinn, then she leant up and kissed her right on the tip of her nose.  _

__ _ “Now… get my ball,” she demanded but the smirk on her lips told Quinn that she was teasing. Quinn stepped back to the edge of the water, got down on her knees, and she reached into the dirty, mucky water to retrieve Rachel’s ball for her. _

_ The scorching kiss that Rachel gave her as a thank you made it one hundred percent worth the effort and disgusting water. _

**[END FLASHBACK]**

Quinn smiled through her tears as she remembered the moment, the date… the day she thought she was going to get to love this girl forever. And as she stared at the picture her eyes focused again on the scarf, her scarf… Rachel’s scarf.

And again she became lost in a memory.

**[FLASHBACK]**

_ It was almost eight months after their date; school was done for the year, and Quinn had taken the train into New York; they were flying back to Lima the next day to spend their first summer, at home, together. _

_ But right now they were alone in Rachel’s loft and taking full advantage of it. Santana and Kurt had already left for home but Rachel waited for Quinn who had one more day of classes. _

_ It was late… they had spent the entire evening making love until they passed out; but now Quinn was awake and since Rachel wasn’t in bed next to her she knew her girlfriend was awake as well. She got up, turned the light on, and opened the drawer on the bedside table to retrieve her glasses and that was when she saw it; the scarf. She didn’t see it when she put her glasses away because it was dark. She pulled it out and smiled. _

_ Rachel still had it… she didn’t return in and Quinn didn’t even notice. _

_ Rachel kept it- her smile was beaming now. _

_ She toyed with the scarf for a moment and then she tucked it back into the drawer. Then she got up to find her girlfriend. What she found a few moments later, made her giggle. _

_ And there she was in the middle of the night, dancing around the kitchen in the refrigerator light. Apparently dancing to the music in her head; and when she spotted Quinn she grinned and waved her over. _

__ _ “Oooh come here baby… dance with me.” _

_ Of course Quinn did, and it was amazing. They were so carefree, young, and happy with no worries… it was perfect. _

**[END FLASHBACK]**

She was there; she remembered everything- all too well.

Maybe she had asked for too much, maybe this thing with Rachel was a masterpiece until  _ he _ tore it all up. Maybe she was running scared but she was there and she remembered it all.

All of the times she watched as Rachel chose Finn, all the things she was ready, willing, and almost gave up for him.

And once again, just like that the tears were back.

“When did I become such a fucking girl?” She whispered to herself as she wiped the tears away. She closed the book; giving up on the idea of reading as a distraction and she decided that people watching might work better so she headed out to the courtyard.

***

She sat watching people for quite some time and it was working for a while until… she saw two girls walk by her and they were holding hands. And that was it… Memories flashed before her eyes.

That perfect Wednesday in the café, the night they spent dry humping, the night everything changed. 

_ She just wanted to be her old self again but she’s still trying to find it. _

She thought about the year, the glorious year, in which she got to call Rachel Berry her girlfriend. The year full of amazing days and even better nights when Rachel made Quinn her own.

She thought about their phone calls, Skype sessions… one in particular.

**[FLASHBACK]**

_ Quinn’s laptop was open and she was waiting for the familiar bing-bong sound of a Skype call and in the meantime she was trolling the internet to kill time.  _

_ She and Rachel planned to have a Skype date tonight since she wasn’t going to be going to New York until the next day for their two month anniversary date. She thought about the last time she was in New York and how heated things got between them; and again the following week when Rachel visited New Haven and things got even hotter between them. But that time Quinn was the one to put on the breaks; and again neither girl got any sleep. _

_ She knew she was ready for the next step- and although she was nervous as hell about having sex again- she knew she was definitely ready. She was also sure that Rachel was just as ready as she was… if their past two meetings were any indication, then Rachel was also definitely ready. _

_ The sound of Skype calling caused her to jump and she quickly shook off all the naughty thoughts before she answered the call.  _

_ As soon as Rachel’s face appeared on her screen she could tell that something had changed; Rachel was looking at her differently and there was a fire burning deep in those brown eyes and it turned her the hell on. _

_ When Rachel spoke it got even better. _

__ _ “Hey sexy,” she nearly purred.  _

__ _ “H-Hey,” Quinn stammered. “Wh-What’s um… What’s going on?” _

__ _ “Nothing is going on,” Rachel teased. “I just left my drama class and let me tell you Quinn, I spent the majority of the class daydreaming about you.” _

__ _ “Really?” _

__ _ “Those eyes, and those… fingers,” she finished after a small pause; Quinn swallowed hard but Rachel wasn’t done. “And that… tongue.” _

__ _ “Ohh,” Quinn’s voice cracked on the word. “W-What about them?” _

__ _ “They were on me,” she teased and Quinn gulped again. “And they were in me.” _

__ _ “Fuck Rachel.” _

__ _ “Exactly,” Rachel said before she licked her lips causing Quinn to bite back a moan. Well she tried to bite it back but Rachel heard it; and she smirked. _

__ _ “What has gotten into you?” Quinn asked her after she took a moment. She looked Rachel over; her eyes were dark, her skin was flushed… it was fucking hot. _

__ _ “Haven’t you been listening Quinn? I had a really hot fantasy about you in class and,” she licked her lips again and Quinn was done; there was no hiding it… she was completely turned on. “And I am ready for it to become a reality.” _

__ _ “Y-You are?” Rachel smiled at Quinn’s nervousness. _

__ _ “I am,” she promised and then she took a moment to stare into Quinn’s eyes. “I-I mean as long as you are.” Quinn nodded profusely but Rachel needed to hear it. “Are you?” _

__ _ “So ready,” Quinn responded and Rachel beamed. “But how did you know you were ready? Was it because of the fantasy?”  _

__ _ “It was partly because of the fantasy… but it was also what happened last week in your bed,” both girls flushed red at the memory. “And the week before that on my couch… and your eyes Quinn, and your hands but mostly because of your heart,” Quinn swooned. “And I just want to know you better.” _

__ _ “I want that too.” _

__ _ “It was also your fantastic ass,” Rachel said with a giggle and Quinn became even more turned on. There was nothing sexier than the sound of cuss words coming out of Rachel Berry’s mouth; particularly when they were in regards to her. _

__ _ “You’re so hot,” Quinn blurted out before she could stop herself.  _

__ _ “Me,” Rachel pointed to herself as she said it and Quinn nodded. “Uh… have you seen you?” _

__ _ “This from the hottest little diva at McKinley High… oh god Rachel you have no idea how much I wanted you back then- and now too obviously- but back then I had so many fantasies about you,” Rachel licked her lips at the thought of Quinn Fabray fantasizing about her.  _

__ _ “Tell me about them,” Rachel husked and Quinn almost lost it right. “Please,” Rachel continued in a begging tone. “… in great detail.” _

__ _ “Seriously?” _

__ _ “Yes please,” she purred and Quinn felt herself become more wet than she already was. _

__ _ “Well,” Quinn pushed her embarrassment aside. “There was the time in the bathroom-” _

__ _ “Which time?” Rachel cut her off. “I mean come on Quinn, the bathrooms at McKinley High is like holy ground for us.” _

__ _ “Good point,” she paused before continuing. “Um… it was the beginning of the tenth grade when you were doing your hair and Santana and I teased you.” _

__ _ “That was like the second day of school,” Rachel recalled and Quinn shrugged.  _

__ _ “Mmm hmm,” Quinn hummed with a smirk and Rachel grinned like a fool.  _

_ It had been that long. _

__ _ “Do you want to hear more?” Quinn interrupted as Rachel was reflecting; Rachel looked at her and nodded so Quinn continued. “That was the time that after Santana and I left I made an excuse that I forgot something in my locker, so Santana went ahead. I went into the locker room and I took care of what you had done to me; while I fantasized about what I wanted to do to you.” _

__ _ “Mmm,” Rachel moaned. _

__ _ “And then there was the time that I-” _

__ _ “Wait!” Rachel cut in again. _

__ _ “Wait… why wait?” _

__ _ “Because I said I wanted to hear your fantasies in great detail Quinn… tell me what you wanted to do to me.” _

__ _ “Oh you want…” Quinn trailed off as realization set in and her cheeks flushed. “Are you trying to kill me?” _

__ _ “No,” Rachel said simply. “I’m trying to get you off.” _

__ _ “Oh god,” Quinn moaned and Rachel chuckled. “Okay… um,” she took a deep breath to regain her composure; and Rachel could hear the nerves in her breathing. _

_ It was cute. _

__ _ “So that day, I pretended that after Santana and I left you I ditched her and went back inside. You were still at the sink fixing your hair and I came up behind you. You turned to face me and as you did, I stepped closer pushing our bodies together. You took a shuddering breath as our bodies connected and you wrapped your arms around my neck,” Quinn took another breath. Retelling this story was having the same effect the original fantasy did on her; and this was a lot easier than she thought it was going to be.  _

_ Rachel was smiling at how easy it seemed to be for Quinn to do this… she was also incredibly wet.  _

__ _ “And I lifted you so that you were sitting on the edge of the sink. I put my hand on your inner thigh and slowly moved it up… to the place I had been dreaming about for so long.” _

__ _ “What had you been dreaming about doing?” Rachel chimed in. _

__ _ “Touching you, feeling you… tasting you,” Quinn husked the last word as if she wanted to do it right this moment; because she did. Rachel moaned loudly. _

__ _ “A-And did you… um,” Rachel was the one stammering now. “Did you?” _

__ _ “Yeah,” Quinn replied. “At first I used my fingers. I dipped them under your skirt and into your panties, and then I worked you into a frenzy… and just as you were about to… I stopped,” she watched Rachel’s eyes widen in horror. “Then I dropped to my knees, hiked up your skirt, and finished you off with my tongue.” _

__ _ “O-O-Oh and how w-was that?” _

__ _ “The best thing I have ever eaten,” Quinn replied before licking her lips, she had turned the tables and it was oh so fun. _

__ _ “Oh fuck,” Rachel hummed.  _

__ _ “Exactly,” Quinn said arrogantly. Rachel had set out to get her worked up but she was the one writhing with desire. However, Rachel’s plan was not lost as Quinn was also incredibly turned on, because of her own words… her memories. _

__ _ “Tell me more,” Rachel begged. _

__ _ “Well then there was the time… after our fight in the hallway about Finn,” Rachel nodded as she remembered the fight. “That time I locked myself into the bathroom stall and fucked myself wishing it was you.” Rachel let out a heavy breath. _

__ _ “What did you fantasize about that time?” _

__ _ “Anger fucking you against the wall of the very same stall.” _

__ _ “Oh wow,” Rachel breathed as she was flooded with those images; Quinn giggled at how worked up Rachel was. “More please…” _

**[END FLASHBACK]**

And as Quinn remembered that hot conversation, and the amazing love they shared the next day… and all of the other wonderful and perfect memories and days they spent together over the past year and now… was it over, had she lost it all?

_ Was Rachel going to be Finn’s again? _ \- she wondered.

But Rachel kept her scarf from that very first week, because it reminded her of their love and it smelled like Quinn- at least that was what Rachel told her when she asked the girl why she stole it. She said she couldn’t get rid of it either… she also remembered it.

They had found true love… it was rare, they were both there…

“Don’t you remember it?” She said out loud to herself but the question was most definitely meant for Rachel. 

Hopefully she remembered that their love was much healthier and much more passionate than anything she ever had with Finn.

But then again he was Finn… Rachel always chose Finn.

_ Why would it be any different this time? _

Rachel called her because of her heartache over him to begin with.

*

Quinn somehow ended up back in her dorm room, people watched, led to wandering around lost in thought and her feet brought her home without her mind realizing it. And as she lay down in her bed she found herself fighting again.

Fighting the tears, fighting the memories, mentally kicking Finn’s ass… and then her phone beeped; it was a text from Rachel and she hoped the text she was about to read didn’t break her like a promise. 

And as she read it… she was overcome with tears again.

It was over.

Rachel had made her choice.

***

_ “The one real thing you’ve ever known.” _

_ \--Taylor Swift; All Too Well _


	10. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Taylor Swift, or any of her songs.

**Chapter 10: We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together**

***

Quinn opened the text message from Rachel and tears fell down her face.

It was three words.

Three words that changed everything, that fixed it… almost.

She read and re-read the words.

From Rachel: _I love you_

She hadn’t lost her, not yet… not completely; she wanted to go to her. To run to New York if she had to but she didn’t. She wanted to wait for Rachel to come to her… or at least until her classes were over for the day.

 _Oh shit my classes_ \- she thought and looked at the clock. _Fuck!_

She typed out a quick text back to Rachel, hit send, grabbed her book bag, and her room. And once she got outside she sprinted across campus to her class; which started in ten minutes.

*

Rachel needed to talk to Quinn… but she needed to go see Finn first and make sure he understood for real, that they were over; forever.

So she texted him to meet her at the train station, and after sending it she packed her overnight bag, grabbed her Metro North tickets, and headed out the door. As she walked to the elevator she passed Santana and Kurt in the hall.

“Where are you going?” Kurt wondered.

“New Haven,” she said simply and she didn’t notice it; but Santana smiled.

“Well it’s about fucking time,” Santana shouted and Rachel smiled back at her.

“Thanks for your help Santana,” she said and saw that Santana shrugged, Rachel nodded once before she got on the elevator.

***

When she got to the train station she found the shop that she told Finn to meet her at; and as she walked in she saw him. He was sitting at a table picking at a muffin but not really eating it; when she walked over he looked up at her. And then he motioned for her to join him and she did.

“Why here, at the train station?” He asked as he looked around.

“So I can watch you leave,” she said without hesitation. She saw tears threatening to escape his eyes but he was fighting them.

“But-”

“Look Finn,” she cut him off before he could start going into the reasons why they were perfect for each other when she knew that it was the exact opposite. “Do you remember the first time we broke up?” She waited but he didn’t say anything so she continued. “I do… we hadn’t seen each other in a month outside of school because of all the baby stuff- which was so bad of us to begin with- secretly seeing each other; we were wrong,” he nodded.

“Yeah but it wasn’t official.”

“It was still real Finn.”

“You’re right,” he agreed.

“Remember when you came around again after you and Quinn finally broke up; remember you were telling me you were going to change, and remember how that lasted for a day?” 

“It was longer than a day.”

“That’s not the point,” Rachel said through gritted teeth; she was getting annoyed because Finn was completely missing what she was trying to tell him.

“Then what is your point?”

“We’d break up, you’d call me, and I’d take you back… it happened over and over and over again. I’m telling you now, once and forever Finn… and I want you to hear me. Are you listening?” She waited and he nodded; she reached over and covered his hand with her own and looked deep into his eyes. She knew she had his full attention before she spoke again. “We… are never, ever getting back together.”

_Like ever._

“Are you sure because-”

“I’m in love with her Finn,” Rachel cut him off because he was still not getting it; and she knew he got it this time, she knew her words had hurt him, because this time she saw a tear slide down his cheek and he nodded in defeat. “So please… just let me go.”

“You’re a hard girl to let go,” he said and Rachel gave him a sympathetic grin. “But I guess if I had known that all along you’d still be mine.”

“I appreciate you taking the blame for us not working out Finn… but that stance diminishes my relationship with Quinn, my love for her,” he was really crying now but still trying to fight it and she felt bad for doing this to him; but she needed to. She needed to say it and he needed to hear it.

“I believe with all of my heart and soul that Quinn was who I was meant to be with all along, so even if you didn’t break up with me last year and all the other times before… I still believe that you and I wouldn’t have worked out. She is my fate,” he nodded and it seemed as though he finally and fully understood.

“Yeah… you two always did have that spark,” he said and she nodded because he was right. “And I was so arrogant to believe that the reason why you two fought so much was because of me.”

“That didn’t make you arrogant Finn,” she reassured him. “You were a high school boy, that’s what high school boys think… and to be fair if it makes you feel any better- at the time- Quinn and I thought we were fighting over you too; and to some degree it was… just not in the way we thought at the time.”

“How then?” He was curious.

“We _all_ thought that Quinn and I were fighting to keep you away from the other because we both wanted you for ourselves,” he nodded because he had thought that. “But deep down- and even though I didn’t realize it then- I wanted you so that you didn’t have her,” he grinned.

“And Quinn?”

“Well, she did realize it… she didn’t want you to be anywhere near me because she wanted me… she didn’t want you to have me.”

“Hmm,” he hummed and then he got lost in thought for a moment. “That makes a lot of sense actually… looking back now,” she giggled because he was right. “So… do you think I’ll be okay?”

“I do.”

“And do you think I’ll ever find a girl that loves me as fiercely as Quinn loves you?”

“Oh gosh… I hope so,” she said honestly and they shared a smile.

“You’ll always be important to me Rachel,” he shot her his dopey grin. “And I’ll always be on your side, cheering for you.”

“Thanks Finn, that means a lot… and I feel the same way about you,” she winked. “You’ll always be the first boy I ever loved, and you’ll always have a place in my heart.”

“Okay, I can live with that.” He said as he wiped the tears from his face and got to his feet. “Tell Quinn I’m sorry for kissing you like that, it was mean and a lousy thing to do.”

“Yeah it was,” Rachel also got to her feet. “But I’ll give her the message.”

“Thanks,” and with that he leaned down and hugged her, she hugged him back and a moment later he pulled away, looked at her for another beat, and then grasped his bag from the ground, and they walked toward the track so he could board the train that would eventually get him back home to Lima. Once they stood near the train they stopped, and Finn turned to face her.

“Break a leg Rach,” he winked and she smiled. “I mean here in New York on Broadway and with Quinn.”

“Thanks Finn,” he hugged her one more time before she watched him get on the train, and then she watched it leave. Once it was gone, she pulled out her phone and turned the power on as she walked to the Metro North- New Haven track. The next train was leaving soon and she needed to get to her girl.

Once her phone was on it beeped to signal that she had received a text message; she quickly opened the text from Quinn and bit her lip at the beautiful words.

From Quinn: _I love you too._

***

After Quinn’s class she was walking back toward her dorm and as she crossed the courtyard she was beginning to worry. Rachel had texted her exactly what she needed to know from the girl but that was it. She still didn’t know where she stood with Rachel, she didn’t know where Finn stood with Rachel; and for all she knew they could be hooking up at this very moment. She cringed at the thought and then shook those images from her mind.

_She knew Rachel better than that._

Even if Rachel was confused about her feelings she knew her, and she knew she would never do something like that; especially not after the text that she had sent to her and confessing her feelings the way she did.

No… Rachel was probably working on what she had asked her to do- and she just needed to be patient while Rachel sorted her head and her heart out.

Her thoughts were running around her head so much that she didn’t hear her name being called. 

“QUINN!! Quinn!!!” Her roommate Brooke was calling her from across the courtyard; when it was clear that Quinn couldn’t hear her, or wasn’t listening to her Brook began jogging and soon caught up with her. Quinn nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand on her and she was about to do some self-defense moves she had learned a few months ago when Rachel dragged her to a class; but she heard Brook saying her name so she stopped panicking.

“Quinn, hey.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, you scared me,” Quinn said grasping her chest.

“Sorry,” Brooke told her through her pants as she tried to catch her breath.

“I almost kicked your ass.”

“Yeah like you could,” Brooke teased and Quinn smiled and giggled. “But I am sorry for scaring you, I was calling your name and you didn’t hear me so I ran to catch up.”

“Oh,” Quinn felt bad. “Now I’m sorry.”

“It’s cool,” Brooke told her with a pat on her shoulder and they both began walking toward the door to their dorm. 

“So what’s up?”

“Well I was thinking,” Brooke began with a mischievous smirk. “Since you’re out of the room and seemingly feeling better.”

“I’m trying,” Quinn admitted.

“Good I’m glad… but tonight is karaoke night,” she looked at Quinn’s expression to gauge her feelings before continuing but she couldn’t tell so she continued anyway. “Kate and I are going and we would really love it if you would join us.”

“That’s nice but I-I don’t want to be a third wheel and-”

“You won’t be… in fact Kate will be pissed at me if I don’t get you to come; she is dying to hear you sing.”

“Why” Quinn was confused.

“Because it’s not every day you meet a singer from a national championship winning show choir,” Quinn snorted laughter. “Her words, not mine… Kate is sort of intrigued by show choirs.”

“Oh… that’s a little weird,” Brooke nodded in agreement. “But trust me… I’m not that good; Rachel was the star of our glee club… you guys should want to hear her sing.”

“And I hope we get to someday,” Brooke said with a hopeful grin and Quinn smiled back. She appreciated Brooke’s support more than she could ever tell her. “But tonight… I want to hear you sing,” Quinn nodded. “Come on it’ll be fun, please say yes!”

“Yes,” Quinn agreed. She just hoped a night out would get her mind off of Rachel and Finn; for a little while any way.

“Great!” Brooke squealed with delight. “I’ll text Kate and tell her to meet us at Slyce for some pizza, in an hour.

“Dinner too?”

“Yeah… if we’re going to be drinking we’re going to need to eat first, or we won’t last an hour.”

“Drink?” Quinn shook her head in confusion. “But we’re underage.”

“Yeah… but the fake ID’s I got for us say that we’re definitely of legal drinking age,” Brooke winked, and then draped her arm across Quinn’s shoulder; Quinn hadn’t said anything but Brooke knew she was impressed. “Now c’mon, let’s go get ready for a girls’ night.”

“My favorite kind of night.”

“Mm,” Brooke hummed. “Mine too,” both she and Quinn giggled and just like that Quinn was looking forward to this much needed night away from her thoughts.

***

Rachel was sitting on the train; she was thinking about how happy she was with Quinn and how over the last year each day had been something to look forward to… and when she was with Finn it was always push and pull, it was always a fight.

They’d break up, he’d call and say he loved her, she’d take him back. Over and over it was a vicious cycle and she was glad she was finally off of that rollercoaster ride.

And the last year of high school was the worst, with the wedding and everything that happened; she didn’t realize it at the time that it was happening but she could see it all… in stunning clarity.

She had been changed for him; he was essentially asking her to change throughout the entire last year of high school and she was doing it. He knew since they met that she had dreams and goals and he asked her to change them, to stay with him, to go to California… and she almost did.

She almost freaking married him.

_What was I thinking?_

And then she thought about Quinn, and how she told her not to marry him. And when Quinn later begged her not to marry him; and how she still hadn’t seen Quinn’s true motives behind her actions. She thought back to when she asked the girls about whether or not to have sex; and oh how she wished she had listened to Quinn then.

 _I wish I had listened to Quinn all of the times she tried to steer me in the right direction_ \- Rachel thought back to those days; and the memories came flashing back like pictures.

The moment at the piano in eleventh grade- when she thought Quinn was trying to hurt her by dating Finn again when in reality she was trying to convince Rachel that she didn’t need Finn, and that she was better than him… better than Lima, and better than all of them.

Quinn was ready, willing, and able to sacrifice her own happiness to ensure that Rachel’s dreams would come true, even if that meant marry Finn… even if that meant giving up on her love for Rachel forever. And if that isn’t true love… what is?

She was so in love with Quinn and she hoped she still had time to make her believe it; and then she promised herself that she would do whatever it would take to sure that Quinn would never forget or doubt it; and her love again. 

And she was going to start right now.

She pulled a notebook and pen out of her bag and began writing. She was writing a letter to Quinn; to put all of her feelings in writing so that Quinn could have it… and hold on to it for whenever she needed it.

So that she would always know.

***

Quinn was sitting at a table across from Brooke and Kate; Brooke had just come back with three shots and they all had one in front of them. Brooke winked at her before she lifted her glass; wordlessly Kate and Quinn lifted theirs as well.

“To friendship,” Brooke said. “Whether you’ve known someone your whole life,” she looked lovingly at her girlfriend. “Or you just met them,” she looked back at Quinn. “Here is to real friends, with real amazing women.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Kate said.

“Me too,” Quinn agreed and they all three downed their shots. 

“So Quinn,” Kate said after she shuddered through the taste of her shot. “Tell me about show choir?” Quinn giggled because Brooke was telling the truth about Kate’s strange interest in show choir.

“What do you want to know?” 

“What was the first song you ever sang for glee club?” Brooke cut in before Kate could ask her question.

“I Say a Little Prayer,” Quinn answered and Brooke curled her lip.

“Okay then,” Brooke said and then immediately thought of another question. “What’s the gayest song you ever sang?” Quinn laughed before answering.

“Um… You Keep Me Hanging On.”

“What’s gay about that?” Brooke wondered.

“Because you sang it to Rachel,” Kate stated rather than asked; it was as if she already knew and then Quinn nodded her confirmation.

“Yeah,” Quinn said with a sigh and then thought back to that day. “Rachel and I had just had this ridiculous fight in the hallway over our shared ex-boyfriend.” 

“Why were you fighting about him?”

“Because she wanted him and I had him… I was telling her that she was never going to get him; mostly because I was going to let him have her.”

“And what did she do?” Brooke asked this time. 

“She argued back and she put me in my place. I was sooo angry… but I was more turned on. I wanted to rip her clothes off and do very naughty things to her.”

“But what did you actually do?” Brooke already knew her too well, and Quinn rolled her eyes in annoyance over that.

“I went to glee club rehearsal and I sang about it,” both girls laughed at her.

“Yeah I guess that is pretty gay,” Brooke said and this time Quinn laughed with them. After a beat Kate spoke again.

“Did you ever sing with Rachel?”

“Yeah… once,” Quinn smiled in reflection at the memory.

“What song?”

“It was a mash up of the songs I Feel Pretty and Unpretty.”

“Oh wow,” Kate said.

“I would love to hear that,” Kate and Brooke both said moments apart.

“Maybe one day, you’ll get to.”

“Cool… I have one more question,” Kate continued and Quinn nodded. “Did you ever sing a song _to_ Rachel?”

“Yes,” Quinn answered and she could tell that her friends wanted more. “Twice,” she continued. “But she didn’t know I was singing to her either time… in senior year I sang the song Never Can Say Goodbye by the Jackson 5 and the other time was in junior year and the song was Lucky by Jason M-”

“Oooh I love that song, will you sing it tonight?” Kate asked but Quinn shook her head no.

“Not tonight,” Quinn answered with a slight pout. “I-I just can’t.”

“That’s fine.”

“So… if you could sing any song to Rachel right now, what song would it be?” Brooke asked and Quinn thought about it for a moment.

“I guess it would be-”

“Wait!” Brooke cut her off before she could answer. “Don’t tell us, just… go sing it,” she pointed to the stage.

“I-I no…” Quinn’s voice trailed off as she started to think about doing it anyway. It might help stop her from feeling so bad.

“I already signed you up, you just need to write down what song you’re going to sing,” Brooke continued with a sheepish grin and Quinn’s mouth dropped.

“You’re a bitch.”

“I know,” Brooke winked at her. “Now get your ass up there and write down the song you picked, and when he calls your name go back up there and sing the hell out of it,” Quinn was nervous, and excited, and she was also buzzed so before she could over think it; she got up and walked over to the stage.

*

Quinn was feeling pretty drunk when the MC called her name; Brooke and Kate cracked up laughing and clapped as Quinn got up, and made her way to the stage. But once the music began, and Quinn started to sing; they were both mesmerized.

 _Dreams, that's where I have to go_ _  
_ _To see your beautiful face anymore_ _  
_ _I stare at a picture of you and listen to the radio_ _  
_ _Hope, hope there's a conversation_ _  
_ _We both admit we had it good_ _  
_ _But until then it's alienation, I know_ _  
_ _That much is understood_ _  
_ _And I realize_ _  
_ _  
_ _If you ask me how I'm doing_ _  
_ _I would say I'm doing just fine_ _  
_ _I would lie and say that you're not on my mind_ _  
_ _But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two_ _  
_ _And finally I'm forced to face the truth,_ _  
_ _No matter what I say I'm not over you, not over you_ _  
_ _  
_ _Damn, damn girl, you do it well_ _  
_ _And I thought you were innocent_ _  
_ _Took this heart and put it through hell_ _  
_ _But still you're magnificent_ _  
_ _I, I'm a boomerang, doesn't matter how you throw me_ _  
_ _I turn around and I'm back in the game_ _  
_ _Even better than the old me_ _  
_ _But I'm not even close without you_ _  
_ _  
_ _If you ask me how I'm doing_ _  
_ _I would say I'm doing just fine_ _  
_ _I would lie and say that you're not on my mind_ _  
_ _But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two_ _  
_ _And finally I'm forced to face the truth,_ _  
_ _No matter what I say I'm not over you_ _  
_ _  
_ _And if I had the chance to renew_ _  
_ _You know there isn't a thing I wouldn't do_ _  
_ _I could get back on the right track_ _  
_ _But only if you'd be convinced_ _  
_ _So until then..._ _  
_ _  
_ _If you ask me how I'm doing_ _  
_ _I would say I'm doing just fine_ _  
_ _I would lie and say that you're not on my mind_ _  
_ _But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two_ _  
_ _And finally I'm forced to face the truth,_ _  
_ _No matter what I say I'm not over you_ _  
_ _Not over you_ _  
_ _Not over you_   
Not over you

When the song was over and the crowd applauded; she smiled awkwardly and made her way back to her table and the MC announced the next singer. When she got back to her seat there were two shots in front of where she was sitting, she sat down anyway.

“That was amazing Quinn,” Kate told her and the girl was a bit in awe.

“Yeah my girlfriend is fangirling you,” Brooke said to which Quinn laughed. “But seriously, you were so good.”

“Thanks,” Quinn motioned to the shots in front of her. “Are these-”

“They’re both for you,” Brooke answered her question before she asked it. Quinn downed one shot, the other, and then she shuddered through the bitter taste. Brooke laughed and ordered them another round of shots.

“Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“If that’s what it takes to keep that smile on your face… then yes.”

“I love Rachel.”

“I know sweetie,” Brooke reached over and rubbed her forearm sympathetically.

“I just love her,” Quinn repeated.

“I know,” Brooke also repeated.

***

A few hours later; Quinn, Brooke, and Kate stumbled back to their dorm laughing and giggling. As they reached the steps Quinn stopped dead in her tracks causing the other girls to almost fall over.

“Rachel,” she said shocked to see the girl sitting on the steps and she instantly sobered up

“Hey,” Rachel said softly as she got to her feet and stepped closer to where they had stopped. Quinn was staring at her with a half-confused, half-relieved expression; and she certainly wasn’t talking so Rachel looked at the other two girls.

“Hey Brooke, hey Kate,” she said and both girls waved awkwardly.

“Hey Rachel,” Brooke said with a huge grin on her face. “Kate and I were just making sure Quinn got home okay, but we’re spending the night in Kate’s dorm room tonight.”

“We are?” Kate asked her with confusion but when she saw the look on Brooke’s face she caught on. “We are… that’s right, see ya Quinn.”

“Yeah bye Quinn,” Brooke said and just like that Rachel and Quinn were left alone; Rachel stepped closer.

“What are you doing here?” Quinn asked as she finally found her voice. 

“I love you,” Rachel replied.

“And Finn?” Rachel could hear the pain in her tone as she asked the question; so she merely smiled.

“I don’t know if Finn loves you… you’ll have to ask him,” Quinn felt the pain slowly going away as she laughed. “I’m yours Quinn,” Rachel continued. “I always have been,” and just as she got the words out; Quinn closed the distance between them. When Rachel felt Quinn’s body collide into hers; it felt as if her world had shifted back into place.

And Quinn felt it too.

And then Quinn was kissing her and just like that it was like coming home.

***

_“We are never getting back together. Like, ever!”_

_\--Taylor Swift; We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Quinn sang was Not Over You by Gavin DeGraw


	11. The Last Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sexy times  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Taylor Swift, or any of her songs.

**Chapter 11: The Last Time**

***

She found herself at Quinn’s door, just like all the times before… all roads they led her here; to this moment. 

To Quinn’s lips on hers once again; and as Quinn’s tongue pushed into her mouth she knew- and hoped Quinn would never doubt again- that she is where she belongs.

Quinn reveled in the feeling of Rachel’s body pressed against hers; Rachel’s lips on hers. She found Rachel at her door just like all those times before- metaphorically anyway; Rachel would always come to her to give or ask but not take advice. And she was here now, and everything was better; this was the one time she really needed Rachel to show up… and she did.

But slowly, like always; Quinn felt the doubt creeping back in and she needed to be sure. So very- very- reluctantly she pulled out of the amazing kiss and Rachel’s very loving embrace. Her eyes fluttered open and what she saw took her breath away.

Rachel was smiling, happy, and she had chosen her.

This would be the last time she’d ask her this but she needed to be completely certain that what Rachel wanted finally, and forever, was her. 

“I-I um…” Quinn trailed off. She didn’t want to make Rachel feel any worse than she already did. “I’m sorry to do this Rachel but I need to-”

“It’s okay… just ask me,” Rachel said knowingly and the fact she knew and understood warmed Quinn’s heart.

“This is the last time I’m asking you this… I promise,” Rachel nodded. “Is my name at the top of your list?” Rachel grinned and nodded again.

“You’re name has always been there,” she said simply.

“Look, I know I hurt us both by doing what I did but it’s only because it’s Finn… Rachel,” the girl nodded a third time but didn’t interrupt. “Finn, the guy you’ve always chosen over me. The guy who no matter what he did, how dumb, or how mean he was to you… you always chose him. This is the last time you tell me I’ve got it wrong,” Quinn could feel her anger seeping back in and she didn’t want that because Rachel had clearly chosen her. She shook all of the angry; and bitter thoughts about Finn away and then Rachel spoke. 

“Okay,” Rachel agreed and it confused Quinn even more. “I won’t tell you that you have it wrong because you didn’t.”

“Wait I-”

“No listen to me please,” Rachel cut in and Quinn nodded to let her continue. “I get it, in the past I always chose Finn so I understand you thinking that this wouldn’t be any different. Especially since I lied the day he came to my apartment,” she saw a tear slide down Quinn’s cheek and she hated that she put it there but they both needed this. “But the difference is you Quinn… I didn’t even know you were an option all of those times that I chose Finn, or let him walk all over me… but now, now I choose you,” Quinn half-smiled through her tears. 

“I lied to Finn, only to get him out of my apartment so he wouldn’t do or say anything that would hurt you… but that blew up in my face… and at Starbucks you came in right after I told him I am in love with you,” Quinn sucked in a breath at that revelation. “But then he saw you before I did and in a dick move he kissed me,” she saw Quinn cringe. “But I promise you Quinn that I didn’t kiss him back, and after you left I slapped him… twice,” Quinn giggled. 

“I believe you.”

“About the kiss... or all of it?”

“All of it,” this time it was Quinn that smiled. 

“Okay,” Rachel let out a relieved sigh. “So I accepted that you didn’t get anything wrong, at least not in how you felt.”

“Yeah.”

“But you need to know that this is the last time I tell you it’s been you all along,” Quinn nodded with a huge grin across her face.

“This is the last time I let you in my door,” Quinn countered and Rachel could see her vulnerability shining through; how had she not seen this all of those years in high school.

“I won’t, this is the last time… I won’t hurt you anymore, ever again… and certainly not for Finn.” Quinn exhaled loudly and it was like the weight of the world was lifted off of her; Rachel could see her become instantly less tense.

“God, I love you.”

“I love you too,” Rachel said just before Quinn crashed their lips together in a heated and passionate kiss that Rachel felt all the way to her toes.

“Is this real?” Quinn asked dreamily as she pulled her lips off of Rachel’s and pressed their foreheads together.

“Feels real to me,” Rachel also said in a dreamy tone.

“D-Do you want to come… up to my room?”

“More than anything,” Rachel said with a nervous chuckle and Quinn became overwhelmed with happiness. She took Rachel’s hand, and led her into the building and up to her room. As soon as they were in her room, Rachel shut the door and Quinn pushed her into it. Rachel let out a gasp of surprise and then an excited giggle. 

“Will you be mine again?” Quinn asked sweetly.

“I never stopped being yours,” Rachel replied and Quinn felt it. She hadn’t stopped; Quinn’s smile widened and her eyes became darkened with lust. 

“So then,” she bit her lip. “Do you um… want to pick up where we left off, you know on our anniversary?” This time Rachel beamed and she also became overcome with lust.

“Which was?” She husked.

“Right…” Quinn trailed off as she knelt down and tugged Rachel’s jeans open. “About,” she slid them, along with the girl’s panties down her legs. “Here,” she licked her lips.

“Oh… y-yes that sounds perf-ahhh,” before Rachel could finish the sentence Quinn’s face was pressed into her and she felt Quinn’s tongue on her clit. She grasped that silky blonde hair in both hands and tried not to ride her face. Quinn was in heaven as she tasted Rachel; it had only been a little over a week since Finn returned to their lives, and then left again. But Quinn had been ready to lose Rachel forever so knowing that she hadn’t would always have her, and always be able to do this made it even better.

“Oh… wow,” Rachel said as she felt her orgasm coming faster than she thought it would have ever been possible. She tightened her grip on Quinn’s hair and tried even harder to not ride her face as the orgasm ripped through her. “Wow… I’m co- I’m already coming,” she said with a heavy breath as her hips started to shake and she could no longer control herself. Her hips bucked forward and Quinn held her tight as she continued to work Rachel into a frenzy with her mouth. Rachel’s eyes slammed shut as she lost herself to the white hot heat coursing through her. And Quinn slowly brought her down from that high with soft gentle strokes of her tongue. Rachel shook through an aftershock and Quinn pulled her face away and held Rachel in place as the girl’s knees were buckling. Once Rachel was no longer shaking and could stand on her own; Quinn got to her feet and wiped her face with her arm. 

“Wow,” Quinn whispered as she wrapped her arms around Rachel’s waist; but Rachel didn’t say anything. Instead she pressed forward and kissed Quinn hard. As her tongue pushed into Quinn’s mouth she could taste herself and that turned her on even more. Rachel stepped forward and Quinn stepped back as they were inching closer and closer to the bed. And as they moved the rest of Rachel’s clothes, as well as Quinn’s were being pulled- sometimes torn- off and thrown about the room. Once they reached the bed they were both naked.

And Rachel pushed forward, Quinn laid back and once she was on her back Rachel hovered over her.

“I want to make love to you all night long,” Rachel husked as she kissed Quinn’s neck. Quinn moaned when she felt Rachel sucking and marking her.

“Do it,” Quinn breathed out as she felt herself getting even more wet than she already was from eating Rachel out. 

“Do what?” Rachel said and moved her lips down Quinn’s chest, over the swell over her breasts, and down to her nipple, when she sucked it into her mouth; Quinn moaned and arched into it.

“Make love to me,” Quinn said and Rachel released the nipple with a pop. She moved over to the other nipple and sucked that one into her mouth while also sliding her hand between their bodies. She took her mouth off of the nipple again and looked up at Quinn’s flushed face.

“I want to fuck you,” Rachel said and her tone was full of lust; Quinn could’ve come right there.

“Then fuck me,” Quinn told her; as she said it she felt Rachel’s fingers sliding over her clit and into her wetness. “Oh god,” she dropped her head back to her pillow as Rachel’s fingers entered her.

“Oh fuck Quinn… I love being inside of you,” Rachel said and Quinn nodded.

“I love you being inside of me too,” Quinn managed to say in between pants. “It’s what I’ve always wanted.”

“And you’re going to have it forever,” Rachel said before she pressed her lips against Quinn’s in a heated kiss; a moment later she pulled out of the kiss and put her hand on Rachel’s cheek.

“I want to be inside you too,” Quinn said and Rachel nodded.

“Yes please,” Rachel said and within moments she felt two fingers sliding deep inside of her. “Oh… fuck,” she groaned. It didn’t take too long before both girls were falling over the edge of ecstasy within seconds of each other. Rachel collapsed on top of Quinn as both girls tried to catch their breath. Once Rachel could move again she rolled off Quinn and fell to the bed.

A few moments of content later Rachel leaned up on her elbow with her hand on her head she looked over Quinn’s naked and heaving form beside her and she thought to herself.

_ I am so fucking lucky. _

“I want to eat you out Quinn,” she said simply and Quinn nearly lost it with those words. She often dreamt of hearing those words fall come out of Rachel’s mouth and now it was a reality.

And she wanted that too.

Wordlessly, Quinn let her legs fall open and then she looked over at Rachel and winked.

“Yes… please,” she repeated Rachel’s words from before. Rachel smirked and crawled in between those open legs and looked at her through the tops of her eyes. 

“I’m in love with you.”

And Quinn swooned.

“I’m so in love with you too,” she said and before she could say anything else Rachel lowered her face and Quinn’s head fell against the pillow once again as she felt Rachel’s hot mouth on her.

And it was heaven.

And they made love well into the night.

***

The next afternoon when Brooke returned to her dorm she found Rachel and Quinn sleeping, and cuddled in Quinn’s bed.

“Awww,” she cooed and the sound startled Rachel out of her sleep; Brooke covered her mouth. “Oh shit sorry,” she whispered and Rachel waved her off.

“It’s fine…we should be up anyway. It’s late, I think… d-do you know what time it is?”

“Yeah… it’s one.”

“In the afternoon!” Rachel shouted and Brooke nodded. “Oh my Barbra, we slept the day away… I mean we have an excuse as we were up all night fu-” Rachel blurted out, and then caught herself and Brooke saw that her face was bright red. “Oh I uh… I mean-”

“It’s fine Rachel… Kate and I were also up half the night fu… as well,” Rachel laughed and silently thanked Brooke for not being offended. Then Rachel’s attention moved to the sleeping girl she had been half-cuddled with, half-sleeping on.

“Quinn,” she whispered and she began to rouse from her sleep. 

“Look I’ll give you guys a minute to wake up… I’ll go get some coffee and I’ll come back in like ten minutes,” Brooke offered. 

“Thanks Brooke… I really appreciate that.”

“It’s no problem. Do you guys want coffee?”

“Yes… that would be amazing,” Rachel said and with a nod Brooke ducked out of the room. Rachel looked back at her adorable sleeping girlfriend.

“Quinn honey,” this time she left kisses along Quinn’s jaw and down her neck. 

“Mm,” Quinn hummed as her eyes fluttered open and she could fully feel Rachel’s kisses. “Hey baby.”

“Hey,” Rachel whispered as she met those beautiful eyes.

“Morning,” Quinn reached up and cupped Rachel’s cheek.

“Uh Quinn… it’s not morning.”

“It’s not?”

“No… it’s one,” with that Quinn sat bolt upright.

“In the afternoon?” Rachel didn’t say anything she just giggled. “Shit! I have class!”

“No baby you don’t… it’s Saturday.”

“Oh good,” what Quinn didn’t realize was that when she sat up the blanket slipped down; exposing her naked breasts.

“Oh good is right,” Rachel husked as she stared at her girlfriend’s perfect breasts, pretty pink nipples,” without thinking Rachel leaned over and captured the left one in her mouth. 

“Oh that’s um… that’s… nice,” Quinn held her in place. “Keep um, keep doing that,” and Rachel wanted to but she knew Brooke would be back any minute; so she reluctantly stopped. “Why’d you, why?”

“Because Brooke will be back any minute,” Quinn furrowed her brow in confusion. “She was here and she left so that I could wake you up, and we could get dressed,” Quinn pouted but when Rachel got off the bed, she stopped pouting and instead watched her naked girlfriend as she got dressed.

“How long do we have?” Quinn nearly growled the question and Rachel shot her a steamy glance.

“Minutes,” Rachel answered with her lip stuck out in a pout of her own.

“Dammit!”

“Language Quinn,” Rachel teased; Quinn got to her feet, and wrapped her arms around Rachel’s body.

“Come on baby… kiss me,” she said and at the exact moment Brooke knocked causing Quinn to squeal and jump back into bed.

“One minute,” Rachel called as she was laughing at her adorable girlfriend. She handed Quinn her clothes and Quinn quickly got dressed. A few minutes later, Rachel opened the door and Brooke came in carrying three coffee cups; she handed two of them to Rachel and Quinn and then she sat on her bed.

“So what’s the plan for tonight?” She asked nonchalantly as if nothing had ever gone wrong between these girls. 

Because in Brooke’s mind- nothing had gone wrong; not really.

_ Rachel and Quinn were perfect for each other. _

“Nothing,” Quinn said. “I drank enough last night… and I just want to be alone with my girlfriend.”

“But Quinn… they’re having karaoke again,” Brooke said and Quinn gave her the death glare.

“Karaoke!” Rachel asked with a squeal and Brooke nodded smiling at her and ignoring the look that Quinn was currently giving her. “Quinn, I want to do karaoke!”

“Okay… we can go,” Quinn said while Brooke laughed at her.

And that was how Quinn got roped into day two of karaoke.

***

Several hours and several shots into the night and both girls were feeling good; Brooke had gotten Rachel a fake ID as well- because she knew that she and Quinn would work their shit out; and Rachel was thrilled that she was going to get to sing karaoke. She was also very excited that she was being barraged with questions about show choir from Kate.

“So Quinn told me that you were the star of your glee club.”

“She did?” Rachel swooned as she looked lovingly at her girlfriend; while Quinn was beaming with a proud smile.

“Yeah, she said you have the voice of an angel.”

“Well-” Rachel’s voice was drowned out by the MC as he- almost of cue- called out Rachel’s name. “Ooh… I’m next,” she popped up out of her seat, downed the shot that was in front of her, and then bent down next to Quinn and kissed her fiercely.

“Damn you’re hot,” Rachel said as she pulled out of the kiss and stared at her hot girlfriend; Quinn giggled.

“Says the hottest girl I know.”

“You guys are gross,” Brooke cut in but it was kind and with a smile so they knew she meant it lovingly… unlike Santana who was mean just for the fun of it.

Rachel got to the stage and grasped the mic from the MC.

“This song is dedicated to the girl I love,” she winked in Quinn’s direction and motioned to the MC. “Hit it,” a moment later the song began and as soon as Rachel started to sing the audience was on the edge of their seats with surprise and awe.

_ She says I smell like safety and home _ _   
_ _ I named both of her eyes “Forever” and “Please don’t go” _ _   
_ _ I could be a morning sunrise all the time, all the time yeah _ _   
_ _ This could be good, this could be good _ _   
_ _   
_ _ And I can’t change, even if I tried _ _   
_ _ Even if I wanted to _ _   
_ _ And I can’t change, even if I tried _ _   
_ _ Even if I wanted to _ _   
_ _ My love, my love, my love, my love _ _   
_ _ She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm _ _   
_ _   
_ _ What’s your middle name? _ _   
_ _ Do you hate your job? _ _   
_ _ Do you fall in love too easily? _ _   
_ _ What’s your favorite word? _ _   
_ _ You like kissing girls? _ _   
_ _ Can I call you baby? _ _   
_ _ Yeah, yeah _ _   
_ _   
_ _ She says that people stare ‘cuz we look so good together _ _   
_ _ Yeah, yeah, yeah _ _   
_ _   
_ “Oh my gosh… she is amazing,” Kate said.

“Yeah,” Quinn nodded; she was dazed because she was thinking back to the first time Rachel sang this to her.

**[FLASHBACK]**

_ Rachel and Quinn were huddled on the couch in Rachel’s apartment. It was January in New York, and it was a brutal winter storm. It caused classes to be cancelled up and down the east coast, which was good news for both girls as Quinn could stay a day or two longer. Kurt had decided to stay at his friend Elliot’s house and Santana was… well who ever knew where Santana was with Dani; so they had the place themselves; it would’ve been ideal if it wasn’t so freaking cold. _

__ _ “God Rachel… don’t you people have heat here,” Quinn whined. _

__ _ “Yes of course we do,” Rachel said and if she were standing she would’ve been stomping her foot as well. “But this is an old, and rather uh…” _

__ _ “Cheap,” Quinn found the word that Rachel was clearly looking for. _

__ _ “I was going to say rustic,” Quinn rolled her eyes. “This is an old and rustic apartment so the windows are a little drafty.” _

__ _ “A little,” Quinn said sarcastically and Rachel pushed her off. _

__ _ “Look… it’s not like it’s a million dollar Central Park West loft okay… this is Bushwick and in Bushwick you get old and drafty,” Rachel crossed her arms in a pout. “And if you don’t like it here you can easily go find a room a hotel.” _

__ _ “Rachel we’re snowed in.” _

__ _ “Okay fine,” she huffed. “Then you can go sleep on Kurt’s bed or something,” with that Rachel tried to push away from Quinn; but Quinn wouldn’t let her. _

__ _ “Okay baby…. I’m-I’m sorry I just get a little grumpy when I’m cold,” Rachel smiled and relaxed back into Quinn’s arms. “I love your old, drafty, rustic… cheap apartment,” she said and this time Rachel giggled. _

__ _ “You’re forgiven.” _

__ _ “Lucky me,” Quinn leaned over and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “You’re cold too,” Quinn said feeling Rachel’s cold nose against her own skin. _

__ _ “Maybe but at least I’m not acting like a girl about it,” Quinn rolled her eyes at that comment. “I just use my imagination and pretend a little.” _

__ _ “Okay… and what are you pretending?” _

__ _ “That we’re sitting in front a blazing fire in the middle of a Central Park West loft,” Quinn smiled. “And I’m singing to you.” _

__ _ “Ooh, I like that… what are you singing?” Rachel didn’t answer in words; she answered in song. _

_ And I can’t change, even if I tried _ _   
_ _ Even if I wanted to _ _   
_ _ And I can’t change, even if I tried _ _   
_ _ Even if I wanted to _ _   
_ _ My love, my love, my love, my love _ _   
_ _ She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm _

_ She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm _

_ Quinn interrupted her singing by pulling her into a heated kiss; and then suddenly they weren’t so cold anymore. _

**[END FLASHBACK]**

_ I’m not crying on Sundays, I’m not crying on Sundays _

_ I’m not crying on Sundays, I’m not crying on Sundays _ _   
_ _ Love is patient, love is kind  _

_ Love is patient, love is kind _

_ Love is patient, love is kind _

_ Love is patient, love is kind _ _   
_ _ My love, my love, my love, my love _ _   
_ __ She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm

When the song was over the crowd was on their feet cheering; including Quinn and her friends; Rachel bowed and got off the stage. She was met with the wide open arms of her amazing girlfriend.

“You are so incredible Rachel Berry,” Quinn whispered into her ear and Rachel pulled back from the hug to look at her.

“Thanks baby,” and then Quinn kissed her and the crowd cheered again; this time for different and much more perverted reasons. Rachel giggled as the kiss ended and both girls were blushing.

“Rachel you are an amazing singer,” Kate said as Quinn and Rachel joined them back at their table.

“Yeah Rachel that was…wow,” Brooke agreed.

“Thanks,” Rachel tucked a piece of hair behind her ear just as the waitress came over with a round of shots for them. Brooke lifted her glass and the others followed suit.

“To Rachel and Quinn,” she said and the girls in question looked at each other. “May this be the last time you ever have any problems.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Quinn said and Rachel nodded. All four of the girls took their shots and then Quinn leaned over Rachel.

“I love you.”

“I love you right back,” and they kissed again.

*

And as Rachel and Quinn were lying cuddled in bed that night after having an amazing night out with their friends; Quinn held her close and she knew that this really was the last time she would ever have to worry about not being with Rachel again. She knew that this was the last time either one of them would ever think of Finn Hudson again with worry.

And she was right.

“What are you thinking?” Rachel wondered as she leaned up and looked deep into those beautiful hazel eyes.

“Just that you were right.”

“As I so often am,” Rachel teased and Quinn giggled. “What about this time?”

“That I am the lucky one,” Rachel smiled and Quinn pressed a kiss to her forehead; it was quiet for a few moments and then Rachel spoke again.

“You know… I think in this particular instance I was wrong.”

“Oh yeah,” Quinn said and looked back at Rachel.

“Yeah… because I am definitely the lucky one.”

And Quinn just laughed.

And Rachel reveled in it… it was one of her favorite sounds after all.

***

_ “This is the last time I'm asking you, last time I'm asking  _ _ you, last time I'm asking you this...” _

_ \--Taylor Swift; The Last Time _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Song Rachel sang was She Keeps Me Warm by Mary Lambert.


	12. State of Grace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the next time jump; it’s been three years since the mess with Finn; and four years since that Wednesday in the café.
> 
> Warning: Sexy times.  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Taylor Swift, or any of her songs.

**Chapter 12: State of Grace**

***

It had been four years that they had been dating.

Four years of once a month trips to New Haven; first using the Metro North passes that Quinn had bought her and then using the ones she had bought Quinn the following year. And then in the third year they just bought them together.

Four years of seeing Quinn every two weeks; they alternated visits so that one trip to New Haven and one trip to New York happened every two weeks. And it was wonderful.

It wasn’t perfect.

They had busy lives; separate busy lives… but they managed to stay together. Being with Quinn was a state of grace; it was definitely a worthwhile fight. And she and Quinn found that they were finally playing the game right.

And though it wasn’t ideal… it was better than anything she had ever had before.

She never saw Quinn coming, because she never let herself imagine it being anything more than a fantasy. She had always thought she was only attracted to boys; and the fantasies she had of Quinn were nothing more than just an adolescent dream. She thought every girl was like that. She thought every girl at least thought about it, and maybe touched themselves to the image of another girl. She never thought it meant more.

So much more.

It wasn’t until the prospect of actually being with Quinn came about did she actually realize that she had always been attracted to girls too; Quinn especially. And the fact that she thought she was straight was a direct correlation to the fact that only the boys in school ever paid her any attention. If Quinn had indicated her feelings before that fateful Wednesday she might’ve realized it sooner.

But none of that mattered anymore.

All that mattered was she was on the train; minutes away from New Haven for the last time. She was using the Metro North pass that she and Quinn bought together for the very last time.

She was going to watch her girlfriend of four years graduate in the top of her class at Yale.

_ Just like she always said she would. _

For the past four years, and the three before that… Rachel had always admired Quinn; at first it was from afar, and then it was as a teammate, and then it was as a friend, and now…

_ Now it was as a soul mate _ .

Quinn was her fate.

Her future.

She never saw her love coming and she has never been the same since.

And though it was scary she knew she could never live without her.

She learned that the hard way; three years ago when Finn returned to their lives and she almost lost Quinn. But she didn’t lose her; and Finn had never come in between them since.

As the train pulled into the station and she saw Quinn waiting with her hands clasped behind her back she felt a rush of butterflies.

The same butterflies she had on that Wednesday in the café where she felt it begin again.

The same butterflies since everything changed.

She nearly tripped as she bolted off the train and into Quinn’s waiting and warm arms. She looked deep into those hazel eyes that were home and she couldn’t wait for more.

“Hey baby,” Quinn muttered before Rachel circled her hand around her neck and brought their lips together in a very sweet kiss that held so much more than just the passion they have always had for each other. 

It held an inner peace that both girls only ever felt when they were together. Like the way that they could always reach each other; even when… especially when… no one else could. Like the way that Quinn always looked out for Rachel and Rachel always chased after Quinn to prove to her that she wasn’t as alone as she felt.

They had always been meant for each other… like hands of fate.

They just took forever to realize it.

But here… now… in this moment… this was their state of grace.

***

After spending the night and most of the morning making love over and over and over again. Quinn finally pulled herself from Rachel’s arms and slipped into the shower. She needed to get ready for one of the biggest days of her life and she was so grateful and proud that not only would Rachel be there to see it; she still had to pinch herself that Rachel was hers.

Ever since Rachel walked into her life she had a way of breaking down her walls. Since the very first time she quit glee club; since the very first time Rachel chased her to prove that she was worth so much more than her station in life. That she was so much more than a pretty face; she found herself letting Rachel in. It was subconsciously at first but somewhere along the way she sought out Rachel’s approval, and Rachel’s compassion, and Rachel’s love.

Whenever Rachel came around her the armor fell and Quinn allowed herself to be true and honest and sincere. She always had. Rachel had some sort of power over her and she was grateful for it every day.

As she got out of the shower and reached for her towel she felt Rachel’s arms wrap around her waist; she squealed in surprise but then she relaxed into the arms that were home.

“Hey,” she husked and she felt Rachel pressing sweet kisses to her shoulder. 

“I missed you,” Rachel whispered. Quinn turned in her arms and looked down into those amazing brown eyes. She cupped her cheek leaned down to press a very chaste kiss to those incredible lips.

“This is it Rachel… when I get on that train with you tomorrow,” she paused because Rachel’s megawatt smile never failed to take her breath away and she needed a second to compose herself. “When I get on that train with you tomorrow I’m never leaving you again. I’m yours now… forever and every day in between,” Rachel interrupted her with a kiss that Quinn giggled into.

“I wasn’t done.”

“Oh sorry… please continue,” Rachel said with a wink.

“I’m just as in love with you today Rachel as I was back in high school and I want to be with you always. Our love is right and real and I want you to move in with me,” Rachel gasped and she chuckled low in her throat before licking her lips. “So will you please mov-”she was cut off by Rachel’s lips and Rachel’s persistent tongue. She was cold from the air on her still wet body but she was slowly being lit on fire by Rachel’s kiss.

And by Rachel’s hands trailing up and down her back; but when Rachel’s hands slid down, over her ass, she palmed both cheeks, and pulled Quinn closer she squealed effectively breaking the kiss. Rachel’s head landed on her shoulder and she giggled into it.

“So is that a yes?” Quinn asked and was still very aware that Rachel’s hands were still on her ass and was now kneading it in the most erotic way imaginable. Rachel looked into Quinn’s eyes and nodded.

“You couldn’t tell by the kiss?” She teased.

“Well yeah I could but I um… I don’t know, I guess I just wanted to hear it,” Quinn blushed.

“Okay then… yes Quinn. A million times yes baby, there is nowhere else I’d rather be. And no one else I’d rather live with.”

“Not even Kurt?” Quinn teased with her eyebrow arched.

“I love living with Kurt but no… no one is better than you.”

“Not even Santana,” Quinn teased and Rachel rolled her eyes.

“No… not even her,” Quinn pressed their lips together again and Rachel felt her shudder. Rachel knew she was aroused and possibly very cold and a wicked smirk appeared on her lips. “And plus Kurt would be pissed at me for leaving him with Santana, “she yanked her closer and squeezed her ass again. 

And Quinn moaned.

“Tell me Quinn… do we have time before we have to leave because if these chill bumps area any indication I would guess you’re very cold,” Quinn nodded. “And also very turned on,” Quinn nodded again. “And I would take great pleasure in warming you up… from the inside out,” Quinn arched her eyebrow and bit her lip. “So what do you say Quinn… can I fuck you now?” Quinn moaned again.

“Mm hmm,” she begged and Rachel nearly growled as she dragged her to the bed where she did in fact warm her up… several times.

And they weren’t even late for the Yale commencement ceremonies where Quinn finished in the top ten.

Rachel beamed with pride as she watched her future cross the stage… knowing that the next day she would be doing the very same thing.

And knowing that Quinn will be just as proud and honored to watch her cross the stage at her own graduation.

*

After the ceremony; when people were meeting with their families, Quinn and Rachel were waiting for and looking for Judy when they saw Brooke and Kate walking toward them.

“Hey,” Brooke said when they were close enough.

“Hey,” Quinn greeted back to her as the girls shared a moment of reflection. Quinn had always felt so lucky that she was paired with Brooke because it not only helped her coming out process to have a gay roommate but it also helped that Brooke became an amazing friend.

“Hey Rachel,” Kate said and Rachel waved.

“Hello Kate… how are you?”

“I’m good.”

“So are you all ready to move to New York?” Brooke asked and Quinn nodded; while Rachel beamed. And Brooke didn’t miss either expression of happiness from both girls. “Good… I’m so happy for you Quinn.”

“Thanks, I’m happy for you too,” she looked from Brooke to Kate. “So are you all moving back to California?”

“No,” Kate answered. “We like it here… and I just got this amazing job offer from the company I was interning at.”

“Oh wow, that is so incredible,” Quinn said to her. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“So you know what this means right?” Brooke asked with her eyebrows raised and she saw that Quinn seemed a bit confused. “It means we’re only going to be train ride away from visiting each other,” Quinn and Rachel both smiled at the thought of being able to keep in touch. 

“Oh yeah,” Brooke said and she grinned from ear to ear.

“And Kate and I already bought some Metro North passes to go visit you two in the city… if you’ll have us that is?”

“Of course,” Rachel answered. “I’m sorry we never invited you before it was just that I lived with two other people, there wasn’t much room and-”

“And you and Quinn wanted to get your fuck on,” Brooke cut in and Rachel flushed red. “But it’s cool, we wouldn’t have intruded anyway. But now when we come to visit maybe you will show us around the city… we’ve never been.”

“Really?” Rachel asked and both girls nodded. 

“Well we would love to show you around, and we would love to have you visit whenever you can,” Quinn told them and Rachel nodded in agreement.

“And there will be tickets waiting for you when I star in my first Broadway show,” Rachel added, Kate squealed, and both Brooke and Quinn giggled. 

“That would be awesome,” Brooke said. “And I’m sorry to cut this short but my mom is waiting to take us out so,” she held out her arms to Quinn for a hug.

“Oh, of course,” Quinn stepped closer and hugged her friend.

“I’m so happy for you Quinn,” Brooke whispered in her ear and Quinn nodded.

“Thanks… and I’m happy for you too,” she said. When the hug was over, and they all said their goodbyes. Rachel and Quinn watched them walk toward a woman who must’ve been Brooke’s mom.

“Hello Quinnie,” they heard Judy’s voice behind them and they both turned to face her. “Hello Rachel.”

“Hey mom,” she said with tears forming in her eyes.

“Hello Mrs. Fabray,” Rachel said and she saw Judy give her the look; the same look she had been giving her over the last four years’ worth of visits to Lima. “I-I’m sorry… I mean Judy, how are you Judy?”

“I’m wonderful, thanks for asking,” she said to Rachel before turning her attention back to Quinn. “And you,” she stepped closer and took both of Quinn’s hands into her own. “I am so proud of you,” and tears fell out of Quinn’s eyes. _ Oh how she had always wanted to hear those words from her parents _ \- she thought.

“Thanks mom.”

“For all that you have been through; for all that you have overcome to be here… a graduate from Yale University in the top of your class… Oh Quinnie, I just love you so much.”

“I love you too mom,” she said and thought about growing up and how much she had always wanted to hear those words from her parents as well. Russell never came back into their lives and that was okay because her mom… her mom had finally told her the words she had always longed to hear and Quinn knew she meant them. 

Judy pulled out of the hug and wiped her eyes, and so did Quinn.

“Enough tears… let’s go celebrate,” Judy said and wrapped on arm around Quinn’s shoulder and the other around Rachel’s… and it as wonderful.

***

Rachel stared out the window as the trees flew by in a blur. It was a beautiful sight and one she knew very well having seen it every month over the last four years. She was grateful that this was the last time she would have to travel in order to see Quinn but a part of her would miss it.

Those Metro North passes had changed everything.

“What are you thinking?” Quinn’s voice broke her out of her thoughts. She looked over at the beautiful vision sitting beside her with an open book on her lap; which was obviously being ignored as Quinn’s eyes peered into her own.

“I-I was just thinking that I’m going to miss it.”

“Miss what?”

“The train rides,” she saw Quinn’s mouth turn up into a smile and she knew that Quinn understood. “I mean I’m glad I’ll have you in New York with me and especially in my bed with me,” Quinn giggled because Rachel waggled her eyebrows as she said that. “But a part of me is going to miss the anticipation I always felt when I was on the way to you,” Quinn nodded.

“I know what you mean,” Quinn draped her arms around Rachel’s shoulder and cuddled close; her ignored book falling to the seat next to her. “It was always so exciting knowing that soon I would be in your arms where I belong.”

“Thank you Quinn.”

“For what?” She wondered confused.

“For giving me the train ticket in the first place, for making sure that- out of everyone- that we stayed in touch, and for coming to see me that first day… but mostly for loving me as fiercely as you did even when you didn’t have me and loving me exactly same now that you do.”

“I love you more actually,” Rachel smiled and blushed. “But I know what you mean.”

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“Well Broadway hasn’t happened yet?” Quinn teased.

“Even when it does… you will still be the best thing that has ever happened to me, Quinn Fabray.” Quinn kissed her at that.

It was passionate.

And erotic.

And filled with so much love.

Rachel never felt so loved, and safe and happy than she did when she was with this girl. She cuddled into her seat with Quinn wrapped around her and this time they both watched the trees blur knowing they’d never have to anticipate being together again.

Because they always would be.

*

Quinn watched as Rachel rushed around her apartment throwing clothes everywhere as she searched for the perfect outfit to wear at her graduation. And when Quinn couldn’t watch anymore she attacked the girl and nearly ripped her clothes off.

Rachel of course didn’t mind but that didn’t stop her from bitching at Quinn the whole subway ride to NYADA because they were cutting it close on time. But she forgot everything when Quinn kissed her.

They made it on time and this time it was Quinn’s turn to watch as Rachel crossed the stage to her future. And when the ceremony was over she watched as Rachel ran into her waiting arms.

“I’m so proud of you babe,” Quinn told her before Rachel’s dads enveloped them both in a tight hug.

As they were whisked away to Rachel’s favorite restaurant to celebrate she leaned over Quinn and whispered for only her to hear.

“After this will you show me how proud you are of me?” Quinn smirked because she loved inappropriate Rachel. She looked at her naughty girlfriend and winked.

“Many times.”

“Ooh lucky me,” Rachel bit her lip.

“I’m the lucky one Rachel,” she said before she was attacked by kisses.

***

Six weeks after Rachel graduated she moved in with Quinn.

Quinn had been staying with Rachel, Kurt, and Santana as she and Rachel searched for their own apartment.

And it only took six weeks.

Quinn found it, and Rachel fell in love with it the second she saw it. Moving in had been a pain in the ass but they were finally all moved in and were about to spend their first night in their very first apartment together.

After eating a lovely dinner that Quinn cooked; Rachel took her by the hand and led her into their bedroom. She still squealed inside at the thought that they were living together. And sometimes still pinched herself that Quinn was hers.

She was living with the girl she thought she could never have.

She led Quinn over to the bed and turned to face her.

“Make love to me,” she requested as she looked through the tops of her eyes and Quinn’s heart melted. There was something about that look that always got to her.

It was the same look that got her to re-join glee club not once but twice, it was the look that got her to drop the idea of trying to get Beth back, it was the same look that convinced her to do so many things over the years, and Quinn was sure it would for years to come as well.

She had never been able to deny Rachel Berry anything.

And tonight would be no exception.

Not like she wanted to deny her anyway.

She leaned down and captured those lips in a heated kiss that said so much more than I love you. It said you’re my past, my present, and my future. It said you are everything in this world to me. It said I want to marry you and have a family with you.

It said I want that all to start tonight.

And Rachel felt it all.

And she moaned into the kiss. She pressed her body against Quinn’s as she felt those deft fingers reaching for her shirt. She pulled off of Quinn’s lips and stared into her dark hazel eyes; she smiled because what she saw was contentment.

She saw the same contentment that she saw for the first time after she kissed Quinn that day in the café and the same contentment she has seen after every kiss since then.

“I love you Quinn,” she husked.

“Oh god I love you too… so much,” she reached for Rachel and grasped her hip. She pulled her closer and her hands went back to work on the edge of her shirt. It didn’t take long for their clothes to be thrown into several different directions. 

Rachel lay down on the bed and pulled Quinn with her. When their naked bodies pressed against each other they both let out aroused gasps.

“I want you,” Rachel husked.

“Then have me,” Quinn husked and lowered her mouth to Rachel’s neck. 

“Same time,” it wasn’t a question but Quinn answered it anyway with a slight nod before she bit down gently on the heated flesh below her tongue. She moaned into that flesh when she felt Rachel’s cool fingers glide through her soaked folds.

She followed suit and pressed her fingers against Rachel’s clit; eliciting a groan from the goddess below her. She pulled her mouth off of that neck and their eyes locked. No words were spoken as Rachel pushed her fingers in. Quinn’s eyes rolled back and she pulled her lip in between her teeth at the feeling of being so full; but she again followed Rachel’s lead and filled her up with two fingers.

“Uh fuck… Quinn,” she breathed out. “You always feel so good.”

“So do you,” Quinn breathed out. They had been having plenty of sex ever since their first time four years ago but this felt brand new. 

_ A new beginning. _

_ A new home. _

_ An old love. _

A love that had been there long before either girl had accepted or realized it.

But it was always there.

As fingers pumped furiously and both girls crashed over the edge of ecstasy they knew it would only get better. Each ending was a new beginning and they both knew they would love every new beginning as long as they were together.

As they cuddled close together; Quinn nuzzled Rachel’s neck.

“I want everything with you,” she husked and she felt Rachel smile more than she could see it.

“I’m so lucky to be yours Quinn.”

“No way Rachel,” she turned Rachel onto her back so that she could look into her eyes. “I’m the lucky one.”

Rachel smiled, cupped her neck and pulled her into a scorching kiss that was a new beginning in itself. Quinn pulled Rachel on top of her as the kiss deepened and before she knew it she was watching as Rachel’s head bobbed between her legs and Rachel’s mouth was licking her into another mind numbing orgasm.

She knew it was going to be a very long; and very satisfying night… and she was completely okay with that. 

As soon as she could feel her legs again she flipped Rachel onto her back and returned the favor. Her eyes locked onto those dark brown eyes as she sucked on Rachel’s clit; and she knew she was right.

She was most definitely the lucky one.

***

_ “And I never saw you coming. And I’ll never be the same.” _

_ \--Taylor Swift; State of Grace _


	13. 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mild sexy times  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Taylor Swift, or any of her songs.

**Chapter 13: 22**

***

Rachel was roused from her sleep by the gentle touch of Quinn’s lips on her neck, and then her collar bone; and then the swell of her naked breasts. Rachel could no longer hide that she was awake when she couldn’t hold back a small moan. Quinn smirked into her chest and then stopped what she was doing. She looked up and was met with Rachel’s beautiful brown eyes and a smile.

“No, no, no… don’t stop.”

“Don’t stop what?” Quinn teased as she lowered her head and kissed Rachel’s breast and then moved to her other one.

“That… d-don’t ever stop that,” Rachel cupped the back of Quinn’s head and just as the girl was about to suck Rachel’s nipple into her mouth there was a loud knock on the door.

“Rachel… Quinn, get up.” It was Rachel’s daddy Leroy. “It’s time for breakfast,” again Quinn stopped what she had been doing at the sound of his voice and again she looked into Rachel’s eyes. This time she didn’t see desire looking back at her; she saw annoyance.

Rachel rolled her eyes at her daddy’s awful timing.

“We’ll be right there,” she grumbled at the closed door.

“Okay,” Leroy said and both girls could tell he was laughing at them.

“You see,” Rachel said sitting up fully as Quinn moved off of her. “This… this is what it would’ve been like if we had dated in high school,” Quinn smiled at the idea of that. “The way I see it… you got lucky by not dating me until I had my own place.”

“I’m lucky to be dating you at all, and I gladly would’ve dealt with your overbearing dads if it meant getting to have you to call mine… and being yours,” Quinn said and Rachel swooned. “It’s too bad that back then I couldn’t get out of my own way and actually ask you out,” Rachel cupped her cheek.

“That doesn’t matter… you have me now and you always will.”

“I know.”

“And look… you still get to have all the same sexual frustration that you would’ve had,” this time Quinn laughed. 

“Well that’s true,” she tugged on Rachel’s hand as she got out of bed. “Come on, let’s go.”

“But I don’t want to,” Rachel whined.

“Come on babe, your dads want to do something special for you… let them,” Rachel pouted but she agreed anyway.

“Fine,” she said and got up. Once they were fully dressed; Quinn stepped closer, wrapped her arms around Rachel’s waist, and pulled her closer.

“Happy twenty second birthday Rachel Berry.”

“Thank you,” Rachel told her but before she could finish Quinn was kissing her and she loved every second of it. The last five years had been the best of her life and she couldn’t wait to spend forever with this woman.

After graduating college in June, she and Quinn moved in together in New York; Quinn got a job at a publishing company as an editor and Rachel was currently starring as Maria in an off-Broadway production of  _ West Side Story _ ; and this time it was Quinn she got to go home to after rehearsals not Finn; not like when she played Maria in high school.

And after celebrating their five year anniversary they planned to surprise their families with a trip home for the holidays. Which was where they were right now.

“What do you want to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling twenty two,” Quinn said sweetly. “And it feels like the perfect day to dress up and make fun of our exes.”

“Quinn,” Rachel reprimanded with a tap on her arm.

“Okay fine,” Quinn rolled her eyes in a joking manner. “But it does feel like the perfect kind of day to go out, have fun, and celebrate that you’re twenty two.”

“It’s not like it’s that big of a deal… I mean it’s not twenty one, and I don’t think you can top what you did for my twenty first birthday.”

“Oh you mean fucking you in the elevator of the Empire State Building.”

“Yeah that… that was a good day."

“Sure was,” Quinn agreed and she smiled at the memory. “But come one baby… we’re happy, free, and in love. It’s magical and I want to make it special.”

“How so?”

“Well I was thinking we could make this perfect day, a perfect night; with dinner, followed by karaoke-”

“Ooh,” Rachel cut her off but Quinn continued as if she hadn’t.

“And then Puck’s holiday party, to see old friends and party the night away,” Rachel nodded; she was liking this plan.

“And then breakfast at midnight,” she winked. “And by breakfast I mean I want to go down on you until the sun comes up… or until you’re screaming my name and begging me to stop.”

“Mm, I’d never want you to stop.”

“Challenged accepted,” Quinn said with a growl.

“I’m so in love with you,” Rachel told her.

“Oh god me too,” Quinn said before meeting Rachel halfway with the sweetest and most gentle of kisses. “Now come on… your dads made us breakfast.”

“Okay,” Rachel pouted as Quinn led her out of the room. “But I like your breakfast idea better.”

“And you’ll get it,” Quinn looked back with desire as they headed down the stairs. “All night long.”

And Rachel just moaned.

***

When they got downstairs; Hiram and Leroy were already eating.

“Hey dads.”

“Hey,” Rachel and Quinn said simultaneously.

“Oh look who finally decided to join us,” Leroy said sarcastically but everyone knew he was just teasing.

“Leave them alone honey… they’re in love.”

“Yeah,” Rachel agreed. “I mean you remember being young and in love right?”

“Young?” Hiram asked.

“Remember?” Leroy asked. What do you mean we  _ were  _ young and in love,” he used finger quotes when he said the word were. “We were young and in love all night long last night,” Hiram blushed, Quinn giggled, and Rachel’s mouth dropped in horror.

“Oh my… ew!!” She shook those nasty thoughts away as both of her dads and her girlfriend laughed at her. Well Quinn was laughing; until Rachel glared at her and then she stopped.

Leroy made the sound of a whip cracking.

“Daddy!” Rachel whined. “It’s my birthday… stop being mean to me.”

“Okay,” Leroy said with a smile. He got to his feet, stepped in front of Rachel, put his hands on her shoulders, and looked down at her. “Happy birthday baby girl,” and then he leaned in and kissed her forehead.

“Thank you.”

“So tell me… how does twenty two feel?” Hiram asked as both girls and Leroy sat down and began eating.

“The same as twenty one,” Rachel told him. “Except that tonight Quinn is taking me to dinner, then to karaoke, then to Puck’s holiday party, and then…” she trailed off and looked at Quinn with mischievous eyes.

“And then what?” Hiram asked in between bites of his food.

“Trust me dad… you don’t want to know,” she said and when he looked up he saw Rachel and Quinn staring at each other; with love struck expressions.

“Ew… gross,” he said mimicking Rachel’s voice and Leroy snorted laughter; Rachel looked at her fathers with an appalled expression.

“Oh whatever… at least Quinn and I are cute,” Hiram sucked in a gasp.

“Young lady… are you implying that your daddy and I are  _ not _ cute?”

“I’m not implying it, I’m flat out saying it,” she said and again Hiram gasped.

“I love you guys,” Quinn blurted out and all eyes were on her. “I-I just mean the easy comfortable way you are with each other. The fun and bantering, it was never like that for me growing up… I-I mean my mom tries and it’s been better ever since my dad is nowhere to be found; but it’s never been so easy… like how it is with your family.”

“Yeah well you’ll get used to it Quinn,” Leroy told her. “Because you’re a part of this family,” he continued and her smile widened. “We will soon be relentlessly teasing and embarrassing you.”

“I look forward to it,” she said and her expression was one of pure happiness; Rachel noticed and she loved seeing that on Quinn’s beautiful face. Rachel covered her hand with her own and mouthed the words  _ I love you _ ; and Quinn repeated the action.

“It’s still gross even if you don’t say the words,” Leroy teased them; and both girls laughed. And they enjoyed the rest of their breakfast with easy, comfortable, and fun conversation.

It was one of Rachel’s happiest birthdays so far.

***

After dinner; Quinn was driving Rachel to a karaoke bar just outside of Lima. She had a special performance planned and she hoped she had the nerve to pull it off.

“This is stressful,” Rachel said as they drove.

“Tonight’s the night when we forget about the stress, it’s time to be free and have fun.”

“O-Okay but where are we going?”

“I already told you the plan for tonight.”

“Yeah but you didn’t say that we were leaving town to do it,” Rachel said and Quinn could tell that she was really stressing out.

“Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you,” Quinn said to her and saw the girl smile out of the corner of her eye. “And we’re only going out of town because we’re going to a bar with fake ID’s. I didn’t want to risk someone knowing us there.”

“Oh.”

“And with what I have planned; I didn’t want to risk someone that knows us seeing me doing it.”

“Ooh, what is it… what do you have planned?” Rachel wondered.

“You’ll see,” Quinn teased and Rachel exhaled loudly.

*

They were at the bar and had already had a few drinks when Quinn’s name was called. Her eyes widened with nerves as she looked at Rachel who could only smile. She took one last sip of her drink, got to her feet, and then she leaned down and kissed the top of Rachel’s head, and whispered.

“Happy birthday… I love you with all my heart,” and then she walked to the stage. Once there she was handed a mic and she looked out at the crowd.

“Before I sing this song,” she said shaking away the last of her nerves; Rachel could tell she was nervous by her tone of voice. “I need to complete my outfit.” With that she pulled a leather jacket out of her bag; and Rachel watched her put it on, and along with her skin tight black skinny jeans Quinn looked hot. She watched as she messed up her hair, and put red lipstick on. Rachel was intrigued as was everyone else at the bar.

“Now I’m ready,” she said to the MC and when the music began Rachel laughed. The crowd was still a bit confused but Rachel knew exactly what Quinn was doing, and her heart swelled… and she swooned.

_ Guess mine is not the first heart broken _ _   
_ _ My eyes are not the first to cry _ _   
_ _ I'm not the first to know _ _   
_ _ There's just no getting over you _ _   
_ _   
_ _ You know I'm just a fool who's willing _ _   
_ _ To sit around and wait for you _ _   
_ _ But, baby, can't you see _ _   
_ _ There's nothing else for me to do? _ _   
_ _ I'm hopelessly devoted to you _ _   
_ _   
_ _ But now there's nowhere to hide _ _   
_ _ Since you pushed my love aside _ _   
_ _ I'm out of my head _ _   
_ _ Hopelessly devoted to you _ _   
_ _ Hopelessly devoted to you _ _   
_ _ Hopelessly devoted to you _ _   
_ _   
_ _ My head is saying, "Fool, forget him." _ _   
_ _ My heart is saying, "Don't let go. _ _   
_ _ Hold on till the end." _ _   
_ _ And that's what I intend to do _ _   
_ _ I'm hopelessly devoted to you _ _   
_ _   
_ _ But now there's nowhere to hide _ _   
_ _ Since you pushed my love aside _ _   
_ _ I'm out of my head _ _   
_ _ Hopelessly devoted to you _ _   
_ _ Hopelessly devoted to you _ _   
_ __ Hopelessly devoted to you

When the song was over and the crowd was cheering Quinn thanked them all and hopped off the stage; when she got to her table Rachel was standing.

“So what did you think?” She asked but Rachel didn’t answer; instead she grasped Quinn’s wrist and dragged her toward the bathroom. Quinn didn’t say anything she just went willingly.

Once inside; Rachel pressed Quinn against the wall. 

“That was insanely hot, but-”

“But?” Quinn cut her off and arched her eyebrow.

“But… I prefer nice girl Sandy to bad girl Sandy,” she looks down at Quinn’s outfit which consisted of those black skinny jeans and a leather jacket. And she bit her lip at how hot the girl looked.

“Oh please I remember how you looked at me senior year when I was hanging out with the skanks,” Rachel thought back to those days and couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped her lips. 

“Oh yeah that was sooo hot… do you still have those clothes?”

“That depends,” Quinn said with an evil smirk.

“On what?”

“Do you still have your knee socks and tiny skirts?”

“Let’s go home?”

“We still have to go to the party, we can’t blow off our friends,” Quinn said fighting every urge to go back to Rachel’s house and have her way with her.

“Oh yeah that’s right,” Rachel trailed off and Quinn could tell she was thinking. “Um… we can park somewhere and do it in your car.”

“Or,” Quinn looked around the room and saw that there was no one else in the room. She smiled evilly. “We can do it right here,” with that she led Rachel into the biggest stall.

“I love the way you think,” Rachel said as Quinn pressed her against the wall of the stall and their lips collided. “I want you so much.”

“Then take me,” Quinn husked and Rachel’s eyes got wide; and then she did as she was told.

And it was hot… and her birthday had just gotten so much better.

***

Rachel and Quinn climbed the steps of Puck’s house and Quinn knocked on the door, but it wasn’t Puck that answered. Instead, it was Artie who had a topless girl in his lap; sucking on his neck.

“Oh,” Rachel said at the sight in front of him.

Oh heeeeey girls,” Artie called holding out his arms but the girl on his lap sucked harder on his neck and he groaned. “Oh,  _ Oh _ … hey Quinn, hey Rachel… it was great to see you but we’re going to have to catch up later.

“Uh,” Rachel said.

“Yeah,” Quinn agreed both with disgusted expressions on their faces as he pushed his wheelchair back and moved to a secluded corner; they watched him go and then Quinn laughed. “Well I guess some things change,” she continued as they walked inside and closed the door behind themselves.

“Yeah like Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry dating,” a male voice said them and they turned to see Kurt, Blaine, Sam, and Mike standing there; it was Mike that had spoken.

“Isn’t it great,” Rachel said to them and they all nodded.

“And hot,” Sam added and all eyes were on him. “What? Oh like you weren’t thinking the same thing,” he looked over at Kurt and Blaine who seemed appalled. “Okay, maybe you two weren’t… but you definitely did,” he pointed to Mike who shrugged; he couldn’t argue with that. 

“You’re right dude, these two are smoking,” Mike said and then he felt a slap on his upper arm; he turned to see Tina standing there with her arms crossed. 

“And some things never change,” Rachel teased.

“What?” Mike said to Tina as he rubbed his arm. “You know damn well you thought it was hot too,” and with that Tina also shrugged but then she grinned. 

“It’s great to see you guys,” she hugged Quinn first and then Rachel.

“You too,” Quinn and Rachel said at the same time.

“And these guys are right,” she said after finishing the hug with Rachel. “You two are hot together.”

“Thanks,” Rachel beamed.

“Yeah we are,” Quinn agreed, and everyone laughed.

“And it’s about time you finally got your head out of your ass and told her how you feel Quinn,” Tina added and Rachel sighed.

“Did everyone know but me?”

“Kind of,” Mercedes’ voice came from behind them and everyone turned to see her. Rachel squealed at the sight of her and almost tackled her as she hugged her. After Rachel hugged her Quinn followed suit. After the initial hellos they all retreated to the living room to catch up.

***

Rachel was sitting on the porch thinking about the last time she was here when- also like last time- Kurt joined her.

“Hey Rach, are you okay?” He sat down next to her on the top step and she nodded.

“Hey,” she greeted with a happy grin. “I’m perfect,” this time he nodded. It was nice to see her so happy. “I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About the last time I was here… do you remember?”

“I remember,” he said as he thought back to the day. “It was Puck’s graduation party, we were sitting in this exact spot, and you asked me to take care of Finn.”

“And you did,” she said with pride.

“Well I did the best I could until I left.”

“I know,” she trailed off as her mind raced through the last six months and the four years before that. “Time sure did fly, didn’t it?

“It sure did.”

“I mean we’re adults now.”

“I wouldn’t go that far Rachel,” he said with a smirk. “I mean before you got here I was witnessing Puck and Artie doing body shots off of two college girls,” she laughed.

“Look at the bright side Kurt; at least they weren’t two high school girls.”

“Well that is true.”

“See… they’ve grown up too,” they both laughed and it was quiet between them for a few moments.

“Listen Rachel… you shouldn’t feel bad for hurting Finn; and you shouldn’t feel bad for being blissfully happy with Quinn.”

“You’re right, and usually I’m not… I guess just being back here brought up all those old feelings of guilt.”

“I get that… but trust me; Finn is just fine… he’s over you.”

“I am,” Finn’s voice confirmed what Kurt was saying as it rang out behind them. They both turned and Rachel was happy to see Finn’s crooked smile. “He’s right Rachel… there’s no reason for you to feel bad, or guilty because of me,” he held his hands up and that was when they noticed he was holding a beer in each hand. “I’m fine.”

“Good,” Rachel said and Kurt got to his feet.

“Hey little brother.”

“Hello Finn,” Kurt looked back at Rachel. “I’m going to give you two some time to talk,” she nodded and he leaned over her and whispered in her ear. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks,” she whispered back. He stood up again and stepped closer to Finn; as he passed him he patted his back. 

“Be nice to her.”

“I will,” Finn said, then Kurt was gone, and Finn took the seat beside Rachel. It was quiet for a few moments and then Finn spoke. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For causing all of that drama with Quinn all those years ago.”

“Oh Finn, it’s okay… it’s water under the bridge now,” and he beamed. He handed her a beer, she took it with a smile and thanked him. “And Kurt was right… I’m happy; I found the life I never even thought to dream of.”

“And what’s that?”

“Teaching,” he said simply and she smiled because that was actually a perfect career for him. “And I have a girlfriend,” she lifted her eyebrows in surprise but her smile widened. “She’s a teacher too… it’s pretty serious.”

“That’s wonderful Finn, I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks… and I don’t think I ever told you this but I am very happy for you too; and Quinn.”

“Thanks, that really does mean a lot.”

“You’re welcome,” and in a moment of reflection he continued. “You and Quinn… you guys always had something, didn’t you?” She nodded. “It’s rare and beautiful and I wish you both all the happiness in the world,” and Rachel was blown away by how much Finn had grown; he was finally the man she always hoped he would become.

“Thank you,” she repeated again; he was truly and genuinely happy and that made her happy too.”

“And also… you two together are  _ hot _ ,” he mimicked Puck’s voice and they both laughed. Finn tapped his bottle against Rachel’s as he got to his feet. “I’ll be seeing you,” she nodded and smiled at him before he turned to leave. “Oh and Rach,” she looked back at him. “Happy birthday,” with that he went into the house and she turned back with a huge smile on her face. 

_ Everything turned out alright, the way it was supposed to _ \- she thought.

Then she took a swig of her beer, got to her feet, and went back inside to find Quinn.

***

Rachel found Quinn in the kitchen with Brittany, Santana, and Puck. She walked up behind Quinn.

“Hello sexy,” she said and Quinn turned around grinning from ear to ear.

“Hey babe,” she kissed her sweetly and as they broke the kiss they saw Santana with a disgusted expression but both Brittany and Puck were smiling. “What?”

“Oh it’s…” Puck began. “I mean I knew you were together but it’s one thing to know it and another thing to see it,” he winked. “And it’s hot!” Both Rachel and Quinn curled their lips is disgust.

“Gross,” Rachel whispered.

“And it’s about time you went after what you wanted Q,” he continued and Rachel let out another frustrated sigh.

“Seriously… I really was the only one that didn’t know?”

“Yup,” Puck, Brittany, and Santana all said at the same time.

“Well okay,” Rachel said because what else could she say… other than Finn, she was the only one of their friends that didn’t know about Quinn’s feelings for her and she wasn’t even sure whether Finn knew or not, he may have.

“So baby,” Quinn said trying to make Rachel forget about that stuff. “Santana just told us that she and Brittany are moving to LA this spring.” Rachel’s mouth dropped.

“What… why?” She wondered; she was going to miss them… she had been so happy when Brittany and Santana got back together in their final year of college.

“I got a job as a dancer,” Brittany answered.

“That is amazing,” Rachel said honestly and hugged Brittany. “But I’m really going to miss you guys.”

“Even me?” Santana challenged.

“Yes even you,” Rachel told her.

“All right, all right,” Puck interrupted as he placed five shot glasses on the counter in front of them and he poured shots. “Here’s to new beginnings and old friends,” he said and they all lifted their glasses and too the shot.

He poured another round and again they all lifted their glasses. 

“Here’s to Rachel,” her eyes widened and she looked at him. “Happy birthday babe,” he winked and then Santana, Brittany, and Quinn all spoke at the same time.

“Happy birthday Rachel!” And then they took the shots; once they were done Puck rubbed his hands together and they all knew he was thinking of something inappropriate. 

“Okay… now it’s time for body shots,” he said and they all knew it was something. He put out four more glasses and poured tequila into them; then he handed the glasses, some salt, and some cut up limes to the girls.

“You’re not drinking?” Rachel asked.

“Not this time, this time I’m just watching.” 

“Ugh… perv,” Santana said to him and he nodded knowingly.

“Yup,” he said proudly. “Now get to drinking,” all the girls rolled their eyes but did the shots anyway. Brittany licked a line right on the well of Santana’s boobs, sprinkled the salt, and then took the shot. Rachel followed suit but she licked Quinn’s neck. After taking the shot Rachel attached her mouth to Quinn’s neck again and began sucking. It didn’t take Quinn long to grab Rachel’s hands and drag her toward Puck’s bedroom. 

“Hot,” Puck whispered as he watched them leaving. He put the mental image of Quinn and Rachel fucking on his bed into the spank bank.

“UGH!” Santana shouted as she could tell what he was thinking was something perverted and insanely gross.

***

In Puck’s bedroom Quinn pressed Rachel against the closed door.

“Do you remember the last time that we were here?” She asked with a husked; and aroused tone; Rachel nodded. 

“You gave me gold star stickers and I wanted to kiss you,” Quinn nodded. "Did you want to kiss me that night Quinn?”

“So fucking badly… in fact I wanted to do more.”

“Oooh, like what?”

“Oh god that night, you looked like bad news… but I mean the best kind of bad news. I wanted to put my hands; and my mouth all over you… just like I do now,” Rachel moaned. “I gotta have you Rachel.”

“I gotta have you,” Rachel repeated; and then Quinn’s lips were covering Rachel’s in a heated kiss that ended with them both naked and fucking like bunnies on Puckerman’s bed.

*

Rachel and Quinn were both lying on Puck’s bed; heaving heavy breaths after having mind blowing sex. They were both naked and sweaty with a sheet draped over them; mostly.

“We kind of ditched the whole scene, didn’t we?” Rachel asked with a laugh.

“Yeah we did,” Quinn agreed and she was laughing too. “But it’s one of those nights… where we won’t be sleeping.”

“Mm, I know and plus you owe me breakfast at midnight.”

“I know I do,” Quinn looked at the clock. “It’s almost time,” Rachel looked too.

“Do we have enough time to get to my house?” Rachel asked.

“No,” Quinn answered and Rachel frowned. “But we do have enough time to get to mine,” and with that Rachel’s smile returned. 

“Take me home Quinn,” she husked. “This place is too crowded and I want to be in your bed where you’ll keep me up all night… eating,” she winked and Quinn hopped up out of the bed.

“Okay… let’s go,” and Rachel also got out of the bed.

They made it to Quinn’s house on time.

And they did spend all night dreaming instead of sleeping.

And twenty two was Rachel’s favorite birthday so far… but she knew Quinn would top it next year… she always did.

***

_ “It seems like one of those nights, we ditch the whole scene  _ _ and end up dreaming… instead of sleeping.” _

_ \--Taylor Swift; 22 _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Quinn sang was Hopelessly Devoted to You by Olivia Newton-John.


	14. Stay, Stay, Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mild sexy times.  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Taylor Swift, or any of her songs.

**Chapter 14: Stay, Stay, Stay**

***

It had been six years since that Wednesday in the café.

It had been a little over two years since she and Rachel had moved in together; which was amazing.

And it had been three weeks since Quinn bought the ring.

The ring that she had been carrying around with her every day since buying as she tried to figure how and when to give it to Rachel; she knew she wanted to marry her. She knew she wanted to spend her whole life with that girl back in high school but the problem she was having; was actually making it happen.

She knew Rachel Berry was the kind of girl who liked big grand gestures of romance; she knew this because she was the one lucky enough to sweep her off of her feet on more than one occasion in the name of romance.

But this… this was big.

And special; it was one of those defining moments in a girl’s life and it had to be perfect.

It was for Rachel Berry after all.

It had to be everything she ever dreamed of.

But for the past three weeks she couldn’t think of anything.

***

Quinn was currently sitting on the couch in their apartment; it was early. She didn’t know what time it was but the sun hadn’t come up yet. The night before she and Rachel had gotten into a huge and messy fight. They both said things that they didn’t mean, things were thrown and Quinn walked out.

It all started with what Quinn thought was the perfect date that would end with the perfect proposal. She was going to take Rachel out to dinner at a fancy vegan restaurant that Rachel had been bugging her to go to for quite some time. After dinner they were going to take a walk through Central Park where she was going to serenade Rachel before dropping on to one knee.

It was cliché.

It was cheesy.

And she knew that Rachel would love every cheesy, clichéd moment of it.

But instead Rachel cancelled on her. She called Quinn an hour before they were set to leave for their reservations and said that rehearsal was running late and she wouldn’t be able to make it. Rachel had just been cast in her very first Broadway production so Quinn knew how big of a deal it was and that was why she tried to be okay with it.

It’s not like Rachel knew exactly what she was cancelling on. 

But once Quinn got off the phone with the restaurant to cancel their date she pulled out a container of ice cream.

And the real ice cream too; none of that vegan shit today.

She pulled the ring out of her purse and toyed with the box while she ate her ice cream and cried.

*

When Rachel finally arrived home three hours later; Quinn was no longer upset.

No… Quinn was angry.

Very, very angry and she yelled.

And then Rachel yelled. It was angry and passionate. There was screaming and shouting but it didn’t get violent. Well- Quinn’s phone may have been a casualty because she threw it across the room at the closed bedroom door.

And- maybe- Quinn’s pride was hurt quite a bit as well.

Especially when Rachel opened the door and exited the bedroom carrying blankets and a pillow in her arms; kicked Quinn’s broken phone aside, and dropped the stuff onto the couch, silently telling Quinn that she was no longer welcome in their bed… at least for the night.

And then it was Rachel’s turn to hurt when Quinn turned and walked out of the apartment. 

“Stay,” Rachel whispered as she opened the door. “Stay,” she said again as the door closed behind Quinn. “Stay,” she cried a third time because she knew Quinn didn’t hear her, or didn’t care. Rachel went into the bedroom and collapsed onto the bed as the tears escaped her.

Outside Quinn was leaning against the door and she was also crying.

She did hear Rachel beg her to stay.

And she definitely cared.

She swallowed her pride for maybe the millionth time that night and walked back into the apartment hoping to see Rachel’s shining eyes.

But she only saw the closed door and could hear her sobbing.

She wanted to rush into the room and hold her and love her and tell her everything would be okay but she didn’t.

Instead she slumped onto the couch, tangled herself in the blankets, and cried herself to sleep.

***

When Quinn woke up she knew she looked a mess, she could feel her eyes puffy from the tears and she just wanted things to be good again. Sure this wasn’t the first time they fought but this had definitely been one of their worst fights. She accused Rachel of things that she knew weren’t true and she did it because of a bruised ego; because Rachel blew off a proposal that she didn’t even know she was getting… for work.

For her dream.

And it made Quinn feel like shit all over again.

“You stayed,” Rachel’s quiet voice broke her out of her thoughts and she looked up to see Rachel’s puffy eyes and tear streaked face but that didn’t matter all that mattered was that her eyes were shining with love and devotion. 

Quinn got up, she wanted to rush over to Rachel and take her in her arms but things were so awkward… they hadn’t been this awkward around each other since that Wednesday in the café after Quinn’s confession.

Quinn looked deep into those eyes that were home to her and she smirked.

“Of course I stayed Rachel… No matter what happens I’ll always stay; and even if I do leave… I will always come back.”

“Do you promise?” Rachel asked and her voice sounded so lost and scared, almost like the tenth grade version of herself that thought she would never be loved.

“I promise,” Quinn replied, Rachel’s beaming smile took over her features, and Quinn knew that smile was all she would ever need. “I’m pretty sure we almost broke up last night,” Quinn said and this time she was the one that sounded lost and scared but when Rachel shook her head no Quinn felt that familiar rush of butterflies that she often felt whenever this girl smiled at her.

“I’ll never break up with you Quinn,” she said and took her breath away.

“I’m so glad to hear that baby… but um, we should talk about it.” Rachel nodded, held up her finger, and ducked into their bedroom. When she came back out Quinn couldn’t help but laugh.

She laughed because Rachel was wearing a football helmet.

“Rach what is-”

“I just figured I should protect myself in case another phone flew in my direction,” Quinn laughed harder and walked closer to her. Rachel took off the helmet and met her halfway.

“I’m sorry about that I-”

“Shh,” Rachel said pressing her finger against Quinn’s lips. “You threw it at a closed door… it’s the phone you should apologize to not me,” Quinn nodded and then she lost her breath when Rachel pulled her into a bruising kiss that she could feel everywhere.

Like literally everywhere.

“Rach,” Quinn moaned against those incredible lips before resting their foreheads together. “I am so sorry… the stuff I said last night I-”

“Quinn,” Rachel cut her off again and pulled back so that she could look into those incredible eyes. “We both said things we didn’t mean. I’m the one who should be apologizing I mean I blew you off after you finally got reservations to the restaurant I have been annoyingly begging you to bring me to,” Quinn nodded with a smile because Rachel had been very annoying about it. “And then I got so tied up with meeting the cast and getting to know each other that I completely ruined your night. I understand why you were upset.”

“Yeah but that is no excuse for how I reacted.” Quinn told her and she shook her head. “I know how important your dreams are and I acted like an immature baby. I’m so sorry for being selfish… and I-”

“Quinn,” Rachel cut her off with a smirk. She knew Quinn hated it when she interrupted and she had done it like a million times already. “Before you, I only dated self indulgent takers… and by that I mean Finn.”

“And Jesse,” Quinn corrected which caused Rachel to giggle.

“Right… him too, but you showed me different. You showed me what it really means and really feels like to be loved and cherished by someone. So please stop calling yourself selfish just because you got upset that I stood you up.” Quinn nodded but didn’t interrupt. “Quinn do you know why I love you?”

“Because of my hot body,” she teased and Rachel smiled.

“Well yeah but not just that.”

“Because I’m the prettiest girl you’ve ever met?” Again Rachel smiled.

“Well yeah, but you’re a lot more than that,” they both smiled at that memory. “I love you Quinn Fabray because you have given me no choice but to,” Quinn’s smile widened. “You took the time to memorize me Quinn, my fears, my hopes, my dreams… no one has ever done that before, ever… and I love you because you always stay.” A tear fell from Quinn’s eye and Rachel reached up and wiped it away.

“You always, always stay… even when you left glee club sophomore year you came back because I asked you to and again senior year you came back when I told you we’d always be there for you. You always show up for me Quinn, you’re always there for me even at great emotional and sometimes physical pain to yourself,” they both thought back to Quinn’s accident. “And I know it took me forever to figure out how much I am loved by you but I know now and I will always stay too.” With that Quinn circled her hand around Rachel’s neck and brought their lips together in a heated kiss. When the kiss broke Quinn pulled back.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” Rachel said in that husky tone that drove Quinn wild.

“Where in the hell did you get a football helmet?” Rachel’s laughter at that caused another flood of butterflies in Quinn’s stomach. 

“I um… I may have stolen it from the prop department,” she shrugged. “One of the perks of starring in  _ Bring it On: The Musical _ .” She bit her lip and this time Quinn giggled.

“But why?” 

“I um… I was thinking you could get your Cheerios uniform out for some role playing,” she watched as Quinn’s eyes darkened with lust. 

“I love the way you think Rachel Berry.”

“I love everything about you Quinn,” Rachel said and this time she pressed their lips together. Quinn moaned and slid her tongue into Rachel’s hot mouth while her hands grabbed her waist and then slid down and over her ass. 

“Mmm yes,” Rachel moaned into her mouth before sucking on Quinn’s tongue and this time Quinn moaned. She cupped Rachel’s ass and lifted her up; Rachel caught on and wrapped her legs around Quinn’s waist. Quinn could feel her girlfriend’s hot center pressing against her and as she led Rachel into their bedroom she knew exactly how she wanted to propose and today would be the perfect day for it.

“Baby,” Quinn moaned against Rachel’s lips as she walked into their room and pressed Rachel into the now closed door. Rachel released her lips and met her eyes. “Will you… I mean can we maybe… I’d really like to take you somewhere?”

“Yes,” Rachel answered without thinking. “You can take me anywhere, you can take me everywhere,” Rachel promised. “As long as right now… you just take me.”

“Mm,” Quinn moaned and turned toward their bed. As she lowered Rachel down; Rachel she sat on the bed and looked up at her in that way that Rachel always looked at her.

“What?” She wondered at the strange expression Quinn was wearing.

“When you look at me Rachel… I always feel so special.”

“You’re everything Quinn,” she said and tugged on Quinn’s pants lowering them as far as she could reach and Quinn kicked them the rest of the way off; her panties were next. Rachel tugged on Quinn’s tank top until it was off and then she stared at Quinn’s braless breasts. She pressed her lips to Quinn’s flat stomach as her hands slid up and cupped those incredible breasts. 

“Mm Rach…” she hummed and bit her lip at the feeling of Rachel rolling her nipples between her fingers. “W-Why uh fuck,” she bit her lip. “Why am I naked and you’re not?”

“Because clearly I have been trying harder,” she teased and Quinn looked down at those innocent eyes that were currently full of desire.

“Or I’m just easy.”

“Or that,” Rachel said with a laugh and Quinn pushed her gently. Rachel lay on the bed and opened her legs which was a clear invitation.

And Quinn definitely took that offer. She reached down and pulled Rachel’s shorts and panties off at once and then she nearly ripped her top off. She started with a kiss to Rachel’s ankle, and then the side of her knee, and then a kiss to her pelvic bone- just above where Rachel wanted her the most. She could smell Rachel’s arousal and the way she was rolling her hips- Quinn fought all her desire to bury her tongue deep inside her girlfriend but that could wait.

Right now she needed to feel her and see her.

So instead she kissed her abs and then the valley between her breasts, and then her collarbone before finally placing a sweet kiss on those tantalizing lips.

“Tease,” Rachel grumbled but then gasped when she felt Quinn’s cool fingers sliding through her wetness.

“I’m sorry baby I just really needed to see your eyes when I do this,” and with that she slid two fingers slowly but deeply inside and Rachel moaned as her warmth engulfed Quinn’s fingers. “I love you Rachel,” Quinn hummed and Rachel bucked her hips as her eyes rolled back at the sensation.

And not just the fingers.

The words too.

She gripped one hand on Quinn’s shoulder while her other hand slid between their bodies and over Quinn’s stiff clit.

“I love you too,” Rachel husked; and she felt Quinn shift her hips and open her legs wide enough for her hand. She smirked as her fingers were covered in Quinn’s desire. She pushed in just as slowly and they began to move together.

“Make up sex is fun,” Rachel teased.

“All sex with you is fun,” Quinn replied.

“Wait until later… when we role play,” Rachel winked and then groaned when Quinn’s fingers pushed harder and deeper.

“Oh yeah fuck me Quinn,” she nearly growled and Quinn’s lips collided with hers in a scorching kiss that had both of them getting closer and closer. And when they did fall over the edge of ecstasy they fell together.

And a few hours later they did get to the role playing.

A few hours after that, they were in a taxi and Rachel had no idea where they were going but she gasped in shock and awe when the taxi pulled up in front of a café.

Their café.

“Quinn,” she said with adoration as they got out of the car and Quinn paid the driver. “This is wonderful,” Rachel said with glee and turned to face her girlfriend.

“Six years ago… almost exactly to the day I came to New York and we came here,” Rachel nodded because she knew all of this. “It was a Wednesday,” Rachel nodded again. “And today is a Wednesday.”

“It is,” Rachel bit her lip in anticipation of where this was going. 

“There is something that I have wanted to give you for a while now… three weeks to be exact but I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted it to be special and romantic and a grand gesture… something that Rachel Berry deserves but what I realized is that you don’t always need something to be grand for it to be special,” Rachel shook her head no. “You don’t always need to have flashing lights and a soundtrack for something to make your dreams come true. Sometimes it can be simple, can’t it?”

“It can… but Quinn I’m confused,” she began. “What are-”

“It was a Wednesday in this café when I felt it begin again Rachel.”

“Me too.”

“And I think it’s time for it to begin again, for us… and it is Wednesday after all,” Rachel shook her head in confusion but then her eyes widened when she saw Quinn pull a box out of her pocket and drop to one knee. Right there in the middle of the sidewalk of a somewhat deserted New York street.

It happens sometimes.

Especially in the middle of the day; in the middle of the week.

But that didn’t matter, what mattered was that Quinn Fabray…

Quinn fucking Fabray was on one knee, holding up a box with the absolute perfect ring in it, and she was doing all of this for her.

And she lost her breath.

“Rachel… what I realized is that for three weeks I was driving myself insane trying to come up with the perfect way to do this. I was going to take you to dinner, I was going to walk you through Central Park, and I was going to sing to you,” Rachel smiled at that. “But you don’t need grand romance… you Rachel Berry have always and will always only want the little things. You only want someone to love you unconditionally and I do,” a tear escaped Rachel’s eye. “You always wanted someone to appreciate you for who you are and not try to change you and I do,” Rachel nodded again. “You have always only wanted someone to stay, and I always will,” another nod and another tear. “I have been loving you for quite some time Rachel Berry and I think I’d like to hang out with you for my whole life… so will you please be my wife?” Rachel was already nodding.

“Yes,” she breathed out and pulled Quinn to her feet and into an incredible kiss. Quinn gripped her back and held on tight and Rachel kissed her and took her breath away. When the kiss broke Quinn pulled back and met those eyes.

“You’re going to be my wife,” she said as if she couldn’t believe it.

“I am,” Rachel bit her lip and Quinn grasped her hand. As she watched Quinn slide the ring onto her finger her stomach was filled with butterflies. “So dinner last night was supposed to be-” Quinn interrupted her with a nod.

“But I don’t want you to be upset.”

“I’m not,” she said quickly and then shook her head. “I mean I’m sorry that I messed up your big romantic gesture but I have to be honest Quinn… this was perfect. Nothing could ever or would ever compare to this.” Quinn nodded because she knew Rachel was right.

This by far was her best plan.

And it wasn’t even a plan… it was actually a lack of a plan.

But she was right, it was perfect.

“So what do you say Miss Rachel Fabray-Berry…can I buy you a coffee?”

“You can but um… it’s Berry-Fabray,” Quinn giggled.

“We’ll discuss the name later,” Quinn said leading Rachel to the door and holding it open for her.

“Damn right we will, and I will win this argument I mean Berry-Fabray just sounds better and it’s alphabetical,” Quinn laughed again as Rachel sat at the same table they sat at five years ago. 

“I’ll get your coffee,” Quinn said and pressed a kiss to her lips. 

“You do that,” Quinn turned. “And Quinn,” she looked back. “I still expect you to sing to me.”

“Of course you do,” Quinn said with an eye roll and went to the counter. Rachel took off her coat and made herself comfortable as she watched her fiancée ordering their coffee and then her eyes darted to her ring and a smile took over her face.

_ Rachel Berry-Fabray _ \- she thought-  _ it did sound better _ .

At the counter Quinn was waiting for their coffees with her own love struck grin as her thoughts ran wild as well.

_ Quinn Berry-Fabray- _ she thought.

_ It did have a nice ring to it. _

_ But Rachel didn’t need to know how quickly she won. In fact they might have to have many, many more arguments and make up sex about it before she let Rachel know just how whipped she was. _

_ Which reminded her that she needed to order a new phone. _

***

_ “All those times that you didn’t leave; it’s been occurring to me, I’d  _ _ like to hang out with you, for my whole life.” _

_ \--Taylor Swift; Stay, Stay, Stay _


	15. Starlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Taylor Swift, or any of her songs.

**Chapter 15: Starlight**

***

Rachel left the theater after rehearsals of the show she was currently starring in; when she got outside she saw Quinn standing there across the sidewalk leaning against a lamppost with her arms crossed over her chest and a smirk on her lips.

“Hey you,” she said softly.

“Are you ready?” Quinn asked as she was now smiling from ear to ear. She stepped closer to Rachel and the girl saw that Quinn was rolling a small suitcase behind her and also had a backpack on her back. 

“Yeah I am… you couldn’t have timed this vacation better. It’s sad that this show is ending it’s run tomorrow and the rehearsals for  _ Funny Girl _ don’t start until a month from now,” Quinn nodded because she agreed that it was perfect timing… like fate. However, she hated that Rachel was going to have to miss the show’s final performance.

“I’m just sad that I’m going to miss the final performance,” she echoed Quinn’s thoughts. “But I’m thrilled that I’m going to be playing my favorite role ever in the revival of  _ Funny Girl _ and I’m even more thrilled that I get to spend a week alone with my hot, hot fiancée,” Quinn’s smile widened.

“Me too,” Quinn bent down and kissed her fiercely and Rachel melted into the kiss as well as Quinn’s touch. When Quinn pulled away Rachel was left wanting more; but she knew she was going to get plenty of that all week… and forever.

Their wedding was set in one week; and Quinn knew that she wouldn’t be able to see Rachel at all the night before so she made it possible for them to spend this week alone together. They had planned the wedding at a perfect time without even realizing it; as it fell right in between the end of Rachel’s current show and the start of rehearsals for the new one. 

So they had a month; a week alone in a cabin, the wedding, and then two weeks honeymooning in paradise… and then another week for Rachel to relax before having to work again. But this week… was going to be perfect.

A week of relaxing, and dancing, and dreaming.

“Here,” Quinn handed Rachel the rolling suitcase handle which was packed with Rachel’s clothes and necessities; the backpack had her things in it. Rachel took the handle.

“What’s this?”

“Your clothes.”

“This isn’t enough,” Rachel said with a whine and before Quinn could say anything Rachel started to talk again. “Not for a whole week!”

“You won’t need that many clothes… you won’t be wearing clothes that much,” Rachel’s mouth dropped but then it turned into a smile. 

“Well in that case… let’s go,” and they began walking toward the nearest subway. “Did you get the car yet?”

“No… I figured we can take the train to the airport and pick up the car there; it will also be easier to get out of town.”

“Sounds perfect.”

*

Once they were in the car and driving out of the city toward Lake George; Rachel turned the radio on and played with the dial until she found a song she liked. 

“Ooh,” she squealed before she began singing along. Quinn smiled at her girlfriend- uh fiancée- and reveled in the moment. It was a beautiful summer afternoon; and she purposely rented a convertible to have the wind blowing through their hair as they drove. And she beamed with delight when Rachel pulled a scarf- Quinn’s scarf from their very first date- out of her purse and put it on. Rachel looked over and noticed the expression on her face.

“What?”

“Nothing… it’s just that… that’s my scarf.”

“It’s mine,” Rachel said possessively.

“No I know,” Quinn backtracked. “I just mean that it used to be mine,” Rachel nodded as she remembered that she technically stole it.

“Right… so… what do you have planned for this week? I-I mean other than lots and lots of naked time?”

“But… is there anything else, really?” Quinn teased. 

“No, not really.”

“Ha, but seriously… everything is a surprise.”

“Quinn!” Rachel whined.

“What?”

“Just tell me.”

“Okay… but I’m only going to give you hints,” Quinn offered and Rachel didn’t like that idea but hints were better than nothing, so she nodded.

“Fine.”

“There will be water… dancing… oh and plenty of starlight,” Rachel rolled her eyes.

“How are those hints?”

“Trust me they are.”

“Okay but they’re very vague,” she said sarcastically.

“It was meant to be,” Quinn replied and Rachel gave up on trying to find out. She didn’t really care to find out what they were doing anyway. They could’ve been going to the desert to perform a rain dance and she would be happy because she was getting to spend a week with the love of her life before they got married. And also she knew that whatever Quinn had planned would be perfect because well… because it’s Quinn.

“You’re lucky I love you,” Rachel pretended to pout.

“I know… I mean I have been telling you for years that I am the lucky one,” and Rachel’s smile got impossibly bigger.

The air between them became silent as they both just enjoyed the feeling of being alone; but together. But the silence ended when one of Rachel’s favorite songs came on the radio and she turned the volume up. She couldn’t be happier than she was in this moment. She had the wind in her hair, a week of stress free vacation ahead of her, the girl of her dreams by her side, and a marvelous tune on the radio.

This was one of her best days.

And she hoped it would be one of her best nights too.

***

When they got there; Rachel’s wish had come true. She knew she recognized some of the sights along the way. Quinn had taken her here once before. It was spring break of their junior year of college and while all of their friends and fellow classmates were going to Florida and Mexico to party like the college kids they were; Quinn took her here to this cabin near Lake George because they were both- and always had been- romantics.

Rachel loved it then.

And she loved it now.

“Quinn,” she cooed and she saw her girlfriend’s mouth turn up into a wicked grin. “You’re so romantic.”

“You remember?”

“Like I could ever forget,” she said as Quinn parked the car in front of the exact same cabin they had the last time they were there. Once they were checked in and their two very small bags were unpacked from the car; Quinn turned to a very happy Rachel.

“So, what do you want to do first?”

“You,” Rachel answered with a naughty tone and Quinn giggled.

“No… I’m serious,” Quinn said. “I have plans for us later… but until then we can do whatever you want.”

“I was serious too,” Rachel stepped closer until she was within inches of her sexy fiancée. She tugged at the hem of Quinn’s shirt. “What I want to do is… you,” she repeated with an aroused tone as she lifted Quinn’s shirt up; and Quinn helped her take it off.

“Well okay,” Quinn agreed and soon all of their clothes were thrown around the room; as the girls began this trip the very same way they began the last one. 

Naked… and making love.

***

Rachel met Quinn at The Boardwalk restaurant. It was an incredible summer night and Quinn had never looked more beautiful in Rachel’s opinion…  _ well that’s not entirely true _ \- she remembered-  _ she had looked just as or more beautiful a couple of times before. The first time was right after she gave birth to Beth and the other was right after she confirmed her feelings in the café. _

_ Their café. _

After an amazing meal the girls were walking along the dock by the water.

“Where are we going?” Rachel wondered.

“Dancing,” Quinn said as she led her to what looked like an outdoor pavilion where there seemed to be some sort of party going on; it was beautiful in its simplicity.

“A-Are we invited?” She wondered and Quinn shook her head no.

“No… we’re sneaking in,” she replied and Rachel’s eyes widened as Quinn led her inside.

“What if we get in trouble?”

“We’ll just pretend like we’re royalty or something?” Quinn answered with the first thought that popped into her head.

“Huh?”

“Just… stop worrying,” Quinn told her as they walked onto the dance floor. “Just enjoy the night,” once they were on the dance floor. Quinn held out her hand. “May I have this dance Rachel Berry?”

And Rachel swooned.

“You can have every dance ever… Quinn Fabray,” she replied placing her hand into Quinn’s open one; and as Quinn led her around this amazing dance floor Rachel took in all the sights and sounds.

The whole place was dressed to the nines, she knew she’d never forget the song that was playing, and they were dancing… underneath the starlight.

She began to dream impossible things.

“Quinn?”

“Hm?”

“I want our reception to be like this,” Quinn smiled and nodded. “Underneath the starlight.”

“That sounds perfect,” Quinn told her and was already thinking about how they were going to change the place of the reception on such short notice.

“I know that it’ll be kind of hard; and probably expensive but-”

“But we’ll make it happen,” Quinn cut her off in agreement. 

“And… I want this song to be our first dance too,” Quinn nodded again.

“I love it.”

And now neither one of them would forget the song that was playing as they danced. 

And they danced and dreamed the night away.

*

Once their perfect evening out was over, Quinn brought Rachel back to the cabin for a perfect night in… well mostly in.

They were currently lying on a blanket; behind their cabin, near the lake… but underneath the starlight once more.

“What are you thinking?” Rachel said into the comfortable night’s silence.

“I’m thinking crazy,” was Quinn’s response.

“Oooh… do tell,” Rachel was curious.

“When we were dancing,” Quinn began and Rachel leant up on her elbow to see he better. “I was thinking about us getting married.”

“Me too.”

“No, I mean… I was thinking about doing it now… tonight,” Rachel’s mouth popped open.

“Ooh that is crazy… and impossible.”

“Don’t you dream impossible dreams?”

“Sometimes, and I love the idea… it’s so romantic, but…” she trailed off.

“But what?”

“My dads… they’d be so disappointed,” Quinn nodded because she was right; she didn’t want that. “And your mom,” Quinn nodded again. “Oh and Kurt, gosh we’d never hear the end of it.”

“Yeah,” Quinn said defeated and Rachel instantly felt bad.

“But I would do it,” Rachel told her honestly and Quinn’s eyes met hers.

“You would?”

“I’d marry you tonight, if it was just us I had to worry about,” Quinn pulled her into a kiss. “I can’t wait to be your wife Quinn Fabray,” Rachel continued after the kiss broke.

“I can’t wait to marry you either Rachel… we can have ten kids and teach them how to dream?” Rachel smiled.

“I don’t know if I can handle ten kids,” she sighed and Quinn laughed. “But I do want a family with you, and I absolutely love the idea of teaching them how to dream.”

“I love you starlight,” Quinn said using the nickname she had just decided to give to Rachel.” And Rachel swooned because she loved it.

“And I love you too dreamer,” she then kissed Quinn sweetly before she lay back down to look up at the stars. A moment later she felt Quinn’s hand on hers, she opened her hand and their fingers interlocked.

“I love to dream impossible dreams with you,” Quinn said.

“With you, nothing is impossible,” Rachel replied and within a second Quinn was hovering over her, and then she was kissing her. And just like always when Quinn’s lips were on hers… it was a dream come true.

“I want you,” Quinn breathed into her neck as her fingers slipped under Rachel’s shirt.

“Then have me… I’m all yours,” Rachel nearly growled.

“Always?”

“Forever,” she said and then she and Quinn made love right there in the warm night’s air. The sounds of the lake as their soundtrack and the starlight setting the mood.

It was heaven.

***

The whole week was full of swimming, sunbathing, and lots and lots of sex… and both girls loved every moment of it but as the week came to a close; Rachel had something planned.

Quinn started the week with a surprise for her and she intended to end the week coming full circle with a surprise of her own, for Quinn.

“Where are we going?” Quinn whined as they were hiking up a hill.

“You’ll see.”

“When? Because we’ve been walking for like ten hours now and we’re still not getting anywhere.”

“Wow! And people say I’m a drama queen,” Rachel told her and Quinn cracked a smile on her grumpy face. “And it hasn’t even been one hour.”

“Well it’s hot and sticky… and I’m sweaty and gross and-”

“Whiny,” Rachel cut her off and Quinn leveled her with a glare… she tried to anyway but Rachel had shot Quinn a glare of her own; and Quinn had to admit that it was pretty scary.

“Rachel,” she whined knowing that even her scariest head bitch glare wasn’t going to help her win this time. “I hate hiking and I just don’t-”

“We’re here,” Rachel cut her off and then she silently thanked Barbra because Quinn had been getting on her last nerve; she made a mental note to never, ever take Quinn hiking again.

“Aw Rachel,” Quinn purred as she took in the view in front of her. They were at the top of a peak looking down at a valley where the lake sat. “It’s beautiful!”

“It sure is,” Rachel agreed and when Quinn looked back she saw that Rachel was looking at her and not at the view. And she swooned again.

Rachel winked; and then she dropped the backpack she had been carrying to the ground. She pulled a blanket out of it and then sat on it. When she was sitting she looked up at Quinn and curled her finger at Quinn as an invitation for Quinn to join her; and she did.

“I’m sorry,” Quinn said as she sat.

“For what?”

“For being a whiny baby, and almost ruining this beautiful moment for you,” she answered and Rachel nodded.

“It’s okay,” she told her. “I forgive you,” Quinn cuddled close to her and pressed a kiss to her temple.

“So what are we doing here?” Quinn wondered and Rachel looked up at the sun as it was beginning to set.

“We’re watching the sun set,” and that was when Quinn looked up and saw the beautiful colors in front of her eyes.

“God I love you.”

“I love you too Quinn.” A moment later, Quinn moved so that she was now sitting behind Rachel and her arms were wrapped around her and they watched in silence.

Several minutes later Rachel broke the silence.

“Quinn?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you afraid of?”

“How do you mean?” Quinn tilted her head so that she could see Rachel better and Rachel leaned back against Quinn’s shoulder for the same reason.

“I just mean as we head out into the real world… careers, marriage, a family, the future… what scares you?”

“Well,” Quinn thought about it before saying anything more. “I guess my biggest fear is that I’ll end up like my father, you know?” Rachel nodded. “Cold, mean…unfeeling.”

“I get that but Quinn there is no way that could happen.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because you know compassion, you know love… you care for people, and protect them with everything inside of you, and most importantly and just as simply… you’re a good person.”

“Thanks,” Quinn smiled at the sounds of what Rachel thinks of her.

“But if you want, I will help to make sure you never become him,” Rachel promised.

“How are you going to do that?”

“By continuing to make you insanely happy,” she saw Quinn’s proud smile. “To love you unconditionally; and to prove to you every single day that you are my dream come true.”

“Those sound a bit like vows,” Quinn told her and Rachel nodded.

“Maybe they are,” with that Quinn kissed her hard and full of passion.

“Thank you,” Quinn said from the bottom of her heart.

“You’re welcome.”

“So tell me yours.”

“My what?”

“What are you afraid of Rachel?”

“The unknown,” Rachel said honestly. “I mean I know I have the talent to make it big on Broadway, but will I?” Quinn nodded and she held back a laugh. “I-I know I have the passion to be a great wife, but will I?”

“You will.”

“Thanks… but it’s those kinds of thoughts that worry me.”

“Well I promise you Rachel that whenever you’re doubting yourself I’ll be the one supporting you, and loving you, and reminding you that you are the best performer I have ever seen, the most talented singer I have ever known, and the most amazing women I have ever met… always and forever.”

“Speaking of vows,” Rachel teased and Quinn giggled. “I love you so much.”

“I love you right back,” and again silence fell upon them as the sun set and the stars began to light up the night sky.

“We should head back,” Rachel told her as she got to her feet, Quinn also got up.

“Ugh! More walking,” Quinn whined and Rachel rolled her eyes. “And in the dark too.”

“Wasn’t it worth it?” Rachel asked with her hands on her hips; Quinn nodded. They packed up their blanket and began to walk back down the hill.

“It’s just dark and creepy… and it’s like ten miles away.”

“More like one,” Rachel grumbled. “And I’ll protect you,” she promised and that made Quinn feel better.

_ She had no doubts about that. _

***

When they got home the time had flown by and before either one of them knew it, or fully prepared for it; it was their wedding day. 

Rachel stood at the end of the aisle as Quinn walked toward the altar led by her mother; who had stepped up and become both a real mother and a real father for Quinn… and Rachel loved her for it. When Quinn reached the altar and took her spot beside Santana, Brittany, and Brooke who were her maid of honor and bridesmaid respectively. Rachel smiled at the beautiful woman she was about to marry.

“Are you ready sweetie?” Hiram’s voice broke Rachel out of her thoughts and she smiled first at him and then at Leroy who was on her other side. 

“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life,” and then she looped one arm through one of theirs and her dads led her toward her future.

At the altar Quinn watched Rachel walking toward her led by the two best men that Quinn had ever known and she smiled blissfully. Rachel looked gorgeous in her dress as she stared at her.

_ Oh how far she had come since she fell for the girl back in the ninth grade. _

And Quinn thanked god for Rachel, the phone call that led her to the café, and how it changed everything. As Rachel reached her and took her hand, Quinn was on top of the world because she was about to marry her starlight.

***

_ “Don’t you see the starlight? Starlight. Don’t you dream impossible things?” _

_ \--Taylor Swift; Starlight _


	16. Holy Ground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Taylor Swift, or any of her songs.

**Chapter 16: Holy Ground**

***

Rachel and Quinn were back in Lima for a special event; but before that they went back to McKinley High to catch up with their old mentors. 

After spending some time catching up with Mr. Schuester and talking about how Miss Pillsbury and their son were doing… as well as how he got the school to reinstate the glee club after losing it two years after the  _ New Directions _ won nationals. Rachel left the choir room and she knew that Quinn was probably still talking with Coach Sylvester; so she began walking the halls. Naturally, this led her to the bathroom; the infamous bathroom just outside of the choir room… the one that she and Quinn spent a lot of time in… talking, fighting… flirting.

She pushed the door open and it was like stepping directly into the past.

She saw memories flashing before her eyes… she saw the very first time that she and Quinn were in that bathroom. It was the second day of school, tenth grade, Quinn and Santana came out of the stalls and called her names. Back then those names hurt but now thinking back to that day all she can think of is that Quinn touched herself that day to images of her; and those thoughts alone caused her to moan. She smiled in reflection as she thought of all the other times.

In eleventh grade, when she tried to get Quinn to sing with Sam; at prom when she followed Quinn into this very bathroom instead of chasing Finn. In twelfth grade after Quinn’s accident when the girls talked to her about dating Joe- she cringed at that memory.

Then she thought about when she told Quinn that Finn proposed. She was panicking and then Quinn was panicking… how did she never see the girl’s feelings for her. And then, she smiled as she thought about the day that Quinn gave her the train tickets and how that led to where they were now.

She was reminiscing and it took her away… to having coffee, back to a first glance feeling on New York time.

**[FLASHBACK]**

_ After hanging out at the café for a while talking; Quinn and Rachel headed back to Rachel’s apartment. Rachel had hoped for more kissing but all that happened was more talking… and she was okay with that too. _

_ But at the end of the day; when it was time to get some sleep because Quinn had to leave early the next morning… she did get to kiss Quinn one more time and it was magical.  _

_ Rachel walked out of her bedroom with some blankets and a pillow for Quinn. She handed them to Quinn but she put them down on the couch and she needed to feel those lips again. _

__ _ “Quinn,” she could hear the nerves in her own voice. _

__ _ “Hm? Quinn mumbled as she looked Rachel in the eyes and Rachel felt it to her toes. _

__ _ “Will you please kiss me?” She asked and Quinn’s smile spread wider than it had been all night. _

__ _ “I thought you’d never ask,” she said before cupping Rachel’s cheeks in her hands and she brought their lips together in a perfect kiss that Rachel- again- felt to her toes. It felt like Quinn was pulling away and Rachel didn’t want the kiss to be over, so she wrapped her arms around Quinn’s back and leaned into her; hoping that Quinn would take the sign that she wanted more. _

_ And Quinn either took the sign or she wanted more herself because instead of pulling away she slipped her tongue past Rachel’s very willing lips and her hands moved from Rachel’s face to around her back as the kiss got deeper and more passionate. They kissed for several moments before Quinn finally did break the kiss with a heated sigh. _

__ _ “W-W-Why’d you stop?” _

__ _ “Because if I don’t… I’m going to want more and more.” _

__ _ “And what if I want that too?” Rachel asked and Quinn smiled. _

__ _ “Then we’ll have it… but we don’t need to have it all tonight,” Rachel smiled as she swooned. “I want everything with you Rachel but I want it every day for years to come.”  _

__ _ “You’re so sweet Quinn… where have you been all my life?” _

__ _ “Waiting,” she said simply and Rachel nodded. “Waiting for you to be mine, waiting for myself to stop being so damn afraid, and just… waiting.” _

__ _ “Well as much as I don’t want you to have to wait anymore, I know I’m going to love every step of this journey with you.” _

__ _ “Me too.” _

__ _ “But tonight… I’m just going to say goodnight and sleep well,” Rachel said. _

__ _ “Sweet dreams,” Quinn husked and she watched Rachel go into her bedroom before she lay on the couch and tried to sleep. _

_ But as they both lay in bed they were thinking about the other; neither was sleeping, and they certainly weren’t dreaming either. _

_ They both knew they would be dead on her feet the next day and neither cared. _

_ The night had just been one of the best… ever. _

**[END FLASHBACK]**

_ Just like almost every night since _ \- Rachel thought.

***

Quinn was leaving Coach Sylvester’s office after a nice chat with her former coach and as she crossed through the gym on her way to find Rachel she thought back. And her first thought was one of the first times she had seen Rachel perform. It was right in the same place she was currently standing; when the glee club performed  _ Push It.  _ She smiled at the memory and how she had felt at the time. Rachel had been basically dry humping her boyfriend but she remembered that wasn’t what made her mad. What made her mad was that Finn was touching Rachel.

And the next day she joined the glee club.

And then she got to watch Rachel perform everyday… it was incredible, and fun, and frustrating. Then she thought back to the very first time she heard Rachel sing… it was  _ Don’t Stop Believing _ in the auditorium and she was so attracted to Rachel that day; and every day since. She loved getting to watch Rachel sing daily and her favorite was the time Rachel sang to her. It was  _ Keep Holding On _ and she would never forget it.

But nothing was a better and worse memory that the first time she ever saw Rachel… the first day they met.

It was the first day of high school; she had just transferred to McKinley after the move.

**[FLASHBACK]**

_ She had also just finished her transformation from Lucy to Quinn… she was putting her books away when she saw her; she felt her stomach tighten and her heart drop to her toes. It was amazing- this feeling and she needed to know everything she could about this girl… to be her friend, to date her. _

_ Wait, what? _

_ She shook those thoughts away. _

_ And just as she was about to approach her, she turned and the girl was standing there. She was right beside her and holding out her hand.  _

__ _ “Hello I’m Rachel Berry, you must be new?” _

__ _ “Y-Yeah I’m Q-Quinn… but how did you know?” _

__ _ “I’ve gone to school with most of these idiots for years and I would’ve remembered you,” and there were those butterflies again. Just as she was about to say something to this girl- to Rachel- a boy with a Mohawk threw a slushy into her face and Quinn gasped as Rachel was covered in blue ice and corn syrup.  _

__ _ “Loser!” He said as he walked by; he was laughing with a really tall and goofy looking boy, and a bunch of other guys. Rachel wiped her face and looked at Quinn. _

__ _ “See what I mean… they’re idiots.” _

__ _ “Are you okay?” _

__ _ “Yeah I’m fine; I’m used to it… I have to go clean up but it was very nice meeting you Quinn.” _

__ _ “Y-You too.” _

__ _ “See you around,” Rachel said and Quinn nodded. And then she was gone. Quinn felt bad and was about to follow Rachel to help her; when a beautiful Latina girl stepped in her path. _

__ _ “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” _

__ _ “Why not?” _

__ _ “Because being friends with Rachel Berry is social suicide, stick with me and you’ll be fine.” _

__ _ “And you are?” _

__ _ “Santana Lopez,” she held out her hand but Quinn didn’t shake it. “Look, do what you want but if you don’t want daily slushy facials I’d stay away from her,” Quinn didn’t say anything so Santana continued. “I’m going to cheerleading tryouts this afternoon… you should join me,” and then she left and Quinn was fighting a battle within herself.  _

_ Follow her heart and go after Rachel or choose the reputation she has worked hard to create and with all that Lucy had endured throughout elementary and middle school the choice was easy. _

_ Back then it was an easy choice anyway. _

**[END FLASHBACK]**

“If only I hadn’t been so scared of everything I am,” she whispered to herself. 

But that was the past and now she was living for the future.

Thinking about those days made her miss Rachel and she needed to find her. A few minutes later she found her in the bathroom… their bathroom.

And right there where they stood; was holy ground.

“Hey,” Quinn said seeing that Rachel was lost in thought.

“Hey babe,” Rachel replied as she snapped out of her memories and looked at her wife. 

“W-What’s wrong?” Quinn stepped closer until they were inches apart.

“Nothing’s wrong… I was just thinking back.”

“I was just doing that too.”

“What were you thinking about?” Rachel wondered. 

“I was in the gym and I was thinking about when you performed  _ Push It _ .”

“Oh gosh,” Rachel looked to the floor and her cheeks flushed red.

“And how I was turned on watching it,” she continued and Rachel looked up at her; her embarrassment was now gone. “Then I thought back to some of your other performances…  _ Don’t Stop Believing _ , and  _ Keep Holding On _ that was the first time you ever sang to me,” Rachel nodded as she remembered that day just as clearly as Quinn was; and all that she had done to help Quinn because… well because she was Quinn Fabray.

“And then I thought about the first time we met, and how it was love at first sight,” Rachel beamed at her words. 

“I thought you were the prettiest girl I had ever seen,” Rachel admitted. “And that has never changed.” Quinn swooned and then she remembered that Rachel had been reminiscing as well.

“What were you thinking about?” She asked and Rachel’s smile got bigger.

“I was thinking about this bathroom,” this time it was Quinn’s smile that got bigger. “This place is holy ground for us, it really is.” Quinn nodded in agreement. “We have had so many moments here and I was thinking about them… and then- of course- my mind went to the naughty place and all of the fantasies you have told me about.”

“Yeah,” Quinn said as she looked around the room nostalgically. 

“Do you want to make at least one of them come true?” Rachel waggled her eyebrows as she asked. 

“Now?” Quinn squealed and Rachel nodded grasping her hand and dragging her into the stall. Once inside, Rachel pressed herself against the wall and narrowed her eyes at Quinn.

“Now is your chance Quinn… to do all the things you have only dreamed of doing.”

“We can’t!”

“Why not?” Rachel questioned. “What… are we going to get expelled?” Quinn realized that Rachel was right and a wicked grin crossed her lips. “Have me… Quinn,” she husked before pulling her bottom lip into her mouth.

Quinn dropped to her knees, hiked Rachel’s dress up, and did just that.

Sometimes dreams do come true.

And sometimes reality is so much better than fantasy.

***

As they left the school Rachel thought about how happy she and Quinn were now and all of the obstacles they had overcome. She knew that when they fell apart all those years ago that it was in the usual and normal way… and for the first time they had something to lose.

But she blocked that noise with the sound of Quinn’s voice saying  _ I need you _ and she felt joy spread throughout her.

“What are you thinking?” She heard Quinn’s voice.

“Just about all of the stuff that we went through with Finn and everything,” Rachel answered and she nodded. 

“Yeah I guess thoughts of him are hard to ignore being back here,” she pointed back to the school as they reached the car.

“That’s true but I don’t want to think about him; I want to think about you.”

“Okay,” Quinn loved the sound of that and she pressed Rachel against the car. “So then what do you want to do now?”

“I want you… to take me on the date you should’ve taken me on in high school,” she said and Quinn couldn’t hide her glee.

“Okay,” she opened the door for her, Rachel got in, Quinn also got in, and then she was driving to Lima’s most famous restaurant… Breadstix.

*

After lunch, Quinn pulled into a mini-golf course and Rachel laughed loudly.

“What do you think?” Quinn asked as she parked the car.

“I think it’s perfect.”

“So, do you want to play?” Rachel nodded her answer. “Okay but… if you lose your ball again, I’m not getting wet for you again.”

“You always get wet for me,” Rachel purred and Quinn felt that exact thing happen. 

“True,” she licked her lips. “But what I meant is… I’m not going to let you win again.”

“Oh please, like you let me win last time; that was all me.”

“It’s on,” Quinn challenged and they got out of the car. Both girls were ready for a competitive game of mini-golf.

They were- ironically- on the fourth hole when the sky opened up and it began pouring down rain, Rachel squealed and Quinn threw her hands into the air.

“So much for not getting wet,” Quinn said, Rachel laughed, and then they both ran for the shelter that the tiny bridge over the fifth hole offered. Once they were there they both laughed at their luck.

“So what do you want to do now?” Quinn wondered.

“Well we could brave the rain,” Rachel offered. “Or we could make a run for it and go find a secluded are to make love in the rain.

And Quinn moaned.

“I like the second option,” she said.

“Yeah me too,” Rachel agreed and they ditched their clubs and balls on holes four and five; and then made a run for it.

***

As they were driving to the secluded area that all the teenagers would go to make out; Rachel began thinking about a date they had in New Haven where they also wound up caught in the rain.

**[FLASHBACK]**

_ It was spring of their first year of college; Rachel had taken the train into New Haven to spend the weekend with her girlfriend and Quinn had taken her on a date. As they were walking through Yale’s campus on the way back to Quinn’s dorm; they were holding hands and talking. _

__ _ “This is nice,” Quinn said happily and Rachel wasn’t sure what she meant exactly. _

__ _ “What is?” _

__ _ “Well I mean all of it is… but what I was referring to was walking out in public and holding my girlfriend’s hand,” Rachel nodded. _

_ It was nice. _

__ _ “Back when I was so far in the closet that I had sex with Puck to prove that I was straight, I never thought this day would come.” _

__ _ “The day you had a girlfriend?” Rachel wondered. _

__ _ “Yeah, that and… I never thought I would be comfortable enough with myself to ever hold hands with my girlfriend in public and I certainly never thought my girlfriend would be Rachel Berry.” _

__ _ “Aww,” Rachel cooed. _

__ _ “I mean I hoped, and dreamt that it was you but I never thought that in reality you would be mine.” _

__ _ “Well I am,” Rachel stepped closer and backed her under a nearby tree; Quinn giggled and let Rachel press her into the tree. And then Rachel was kissing her. _

_ And if she never thought public hand holding would happen she certainly never thought kissing would. But that didn’t stop her from wrapping her arms around Rachel’s back, pulling her closer, and deepening the kiss.  _

_ Just as the kiss was getting hotter and hotter the sky opened up and the rain began to pour down. The kiss broke when Quinn laughed and Rachel looked around. Underneath the tree they weren’t getting as wet as they would’ve been had they not been slightly covered. Rachel looked at Quinn who put her hands up in defeat and Rachel flashed an evil grin. _

__ _ “I have a question for you Quinn… do we run back to your dorm and get soaked; or do we stay here, get soaked anyway, but make out under this tree?” Quinn chuckled. _

__ _ “Hm… how about we stay here, get soaked, make out in the rain for a bit- it’s a fantasy of mine,” she added. “But then we make a run for it, back to my room where we can get naked,” Rachel arched her eyebrows. “T-To get out of the wet clothes of course.” _

__ _ “Oh, of course…” Rachel said before she pulled Quinn into a heated kiss.  _

_ As they kissed Quinn’s back was pressed against the tree and Rachel’s front was pressed against her. It felt amazing and even though the rain wasn’t hitting them as hard; they were still getting wet… and not just because of the rain falling on them. _

__ _ “Mm,” Rachel moaned as Quinn broke the kiss and moved to her neck where she kissed and then began sucking. She was turning Rachel on and also getting herself more aroused than she already was. _

__ _ “Q-Quinn,” Rachel stammered and Quinn moaned. She nipped her neck before pulling back and when she looked into Rachel’s dark eyes she could see how turned on her girlfriend actually was. But before Rachel could say anything, Quinn spoke. _

__ _ “My room?” She asked and Rachel nodded wildly. _

__ _ “Yes please.” _

__ _ “Okay… let’s go,” and then they made a run for it.  _

_ When they got to Quinn’s room they were both thoroughly soaked. The quickly got naked, and dry and then as their bodies collided they got wet all over again. _

**[END FLASHBACK]**

While Rachel was recalling that day in New Haven, Quinn was thinking about another time that they got caught in a rain storm… and it was much more recently.

**[FLASHBACK]**

_ They were sitting in a canoe and enjoying the summer air on Lake George. They had packed a picnic and rented a canoe for the day. They had only two more days on this trip before they had to go back to the real world and their wedding- which they were both definitely excited about- but today was going to be a relaxing day. The sun was shining, the air was warm with a light cool breeze, and Rachel looked smoking hot in her red bikini. _

_ It was a perfect day. _

_ Quinn dropped her head back to the edge of the boat and relaxed; they had paddled out into the lake and they had gotten pretty far off the shore. Far enough away from the screaming kids and families that were occupying the beach. _

__ _ “Baby?” Rachel said softly. _

__ _ “Huh?” Quinn answered without lifting her head. _

__ _ “This is perfect,” Rachel told her. _

__ _ “Mm,” Quinn hummed contentedly and then as if the gods of weather had heard her; the rain came pouring down. _

__ _ “Oh shit!” _

__ _ “Ahhh!” Quinn and Rachel screamed within seconds of each other. They were both now sitting straight up and all thoughts of relaxing were gone; replaced with a panicked look and thoughts of getting back to shore.  _

__ _ “Wh-What do we do?” Rachel asked as they were getting completely saturated.  _

__ _ “We paddle back,” Quinn said but when she reached for the oar closest to her she hit it instead and knocked it into the lake. As it floated away from them, both girls looked at each other with wide eyes. _

__ _ “Why’d you do that?” _

__ _ “It’s not like I did it on purpose,” Quinn grumbled with an annoyed tone. “Hand me the other oar,” Rachel did and Quinn leaned over the edge of the canoe; she was trying to use one oar to retrieve the other before it got too far away. _

__ _ “Almost,” she grunted as she reached over the edge but she pushed a little too far and the boat capsized; knocking herself and a squealing Rachel into the water before the boat tipped back up into position.  _

_ Quinn broke through the water and a second later Rachel’s head popped up as well. And while Quinn laughed at the situation because what else could she do; Rachel was angry. _

__ _ “Really Quinn? This is so ridiculous and you’re laughing!” _

__ _ “Yeah I’m laughing… it’s better than crying.” _

__ _ “Well I’m pissed,” Rachel said and Quinn could tell that if they were on dry land Rachel would’ve stormed off. _

__ _ “Clearly,” she said and then Rachel’s mood softened. _

__ _ “Look I’m sorry but wh-what if we get struck by lightning?” _

__ _ “It’s not that kind of storm babe,” Quinn told her. “It’s just a sun shower… look,” Quinn motioned her head to the sky and Rachel looked up. _

__ _ “Oooh a rainbow,” Rachel said with a grin and Quinn giggled at her adorable fiancée. “Maybe this isn’t so bad after all.” _

__ _ “Come here,” Quinn waved her over. “I’ll help you into the boat and then you can help pull me in.” _

__ _ “Okay,” Rachel said and then grasped the edge of the canoe. She pulled herself up while Quinn lifted her up; first by her hips, and then with her hand on Rachel’s ass. Once she was in she turned to help Quinn but Quinn was swimming in the other direction. _

__ _ “Where are you going?” And Quinn stopped swimming. _

__ _ “To get the oars.” _

__ _ “Oh,” and then Rachel sat back and watched her hot as fuck girlfriend swim to the oars; she took one and swam back with it and then she went back for the other one. Once both oars were safely in the boat; Quinn pulled herself up and Rachel helped until Quinn landed on top of her inside the boat. They were both laughing as Quinn climbed off of her. _

__ _ “Come on let’s go,” Quinn said as she grabbed an oar and Rachel grabbed the other one. But just as quickly as the rain began, it stopped again. _

__ _ “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Quinn yelled and this time Rachel laughed. “It’s not funny.” _

__ _ “It’s a little funny,” Rachel said and continued to laugh; and watching her laugh Quinn couldn’t fight it anymore and she laughed too. “Also watching you swim like that was so hot Quinn,” Rachel moved closer, wrapped her arms around Quinn’s neck, and kissed her passionately. _

__ _ “Mm,” Quinn moaned into the kiss before she quickly pulled back before things got too heated. “We can’t.” _

__ _ “Why not?” _

__ _ “There are kids here Rachel,” she motioned to the shore and Rachel waved it off. _

__ _ “It’s fine, they’re like ten miles away.” _

__ _ “More like one,” Quinn said but Rachel’s fingers were pushing her bikini bottoms aside and she forgot all about… well everything. _

**[END FLASHBACK]**

Rain was kind of their thing… and it was nice.

Once they parked at the make out hill or whatever the kids called it; they climbed into the backseat and neither girl was thinking about the past anymore as they made out in the rain, in Lima, Ohio where they grew up.

Holy ground.

***

Rachel looked up the aisle at the altar and saw Quinn standing there. It made her think of their own wedding. But this wedding- the reason why they were back in Lima to begin with was causing a flood of memories as she looked at Quinn.

“You ready?” Hiram said to her as he came up on Rachel’s left side. 

“As I’ll ever be,” she said with a proud smile. “But the real question is… are you?”

“Sweetie… this is not the first time that I have married your daddy.”

“Yeah maybe, but it is the first time that it’s legal,” Leroy said as he came up on Rachel’s right side. “Now that gay marriage is legal in every state in the country we decided to go ahead and make it official.”

“I know… it’s so great, and I’m so happy to be here to witness as you two renew your vows,” she said and both men smiled at their little girl.

_ And tonight I’m gonna dance, for all that we’ve been through _ .

The wedding march began; and Rachel led her fathers down the aisle so that she could give them away. And as always her eyes were locked on Quinn.

_ But I don’t wanna dance if I’m not dancing with you. _

*

Quinn watched her wife lead her fathers down the aisle to- finally- and officially get married and all she could think about was the amazing day that Rachel became her wife.

It was so good, never looking down, or looking back with regret. Rachel was hers and nothing was ever going to take that away. 

And McKinley High’s bathroom, auditorium, gym… Lima in general; from New York to New Haven and everywhere in between … for Rachel and Quinn, all of it was holy ground.

She thought about the moments, the memories, the good times and the bad…

_ They are the moments you saw sparks that weren’t really there, felt the stars aligning without having any proof, saw your future before it happened, and then saw it slip away without any warning. These are the moments of newfound hope, extreme joy, intense passion, wishful thinking, and in some cases; the unthinkable letdown. And every one of these memories looked the same. They both saw all of these moments in bright, burning red. _

Rachel may have married the girl that helped her begin again but Quinn…

She married her starlight.

Everything had changed since that day they watched it begin again. Sometimes it was treacherous but it was always a state of grace and they both knew all too well that loving her was red. And that no matter what they would always stay together and in the end they were both right because…

They were both… the lucky one.

***

_ “And right there where we stood; was holy ground.” _

_ \--Taylor Swift; Holy Ground _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The italic quote at the end was written by Taylor Swift; it’s in the linear notes of the Red album.


End file.
